I’m of the firm opinion that two (three?) DEFINITELY fucked hard and often in their youth.

Young and learning each other’s bodies? Sultry old man yaoi? Up to you!

Spoilers up to the end of the first half of DT

Mild spoilers up to level 92

Since their meeting in Old Sharlayan for Ameliance’s homestead program, these three Women of Industry have been in touch– sometimes in a literal sense.

Rowena, divorcee and successful businesswoman, believes she’s the top-notch, compared to these two refined, elegant, surely (wrongly) chaste and prude women. She brags about pegging her ex-husband once, oblivious to the “oh sweet summer child” looks Ameliance and F’lhammin are exchanging while sipping their teas.

[…]

I just want all three of them to be all not having a great time.

And then fuck to try and forget about it. Everyone is hurting and they’re trying to be comfort to one another but with mixed results.

Possible directions not limited to:

-Moenbryda is allowed to live again for one night

-weird ghost sex in the aetherial sea

-Moenbryda lives AU, and they’re all angsty about completely unrelated things

Even including the hellish hormone soup that is Elezen puberty, Urianger has never had much of an interest in sex or romance. Until now, that is. Luckily for him, he has a (very) experienced partner(s) to show him the ropes.

Aiming for less “blushing virgin” and more “body-shy adult who’s just never gotten around to it.” Bonus points for humor, mild to moderate awkwardness, and well laid plans going awry in ways that are satisfactory for all involved but nevertheless realistically imperfect.

Slight preference for post-ShB appearances and characterization but any time post ARR is fine too. Feel free to make Moenbryda alive much later in the timeline than canon with as little explanation or justification as you like.

Male Miqo’te WOL sandwiched between Estinien and Thancred

Up to you what they do to him

Ok listen

Wol can copy themselves and be a female or male

M and F WOL both fuck G’raha

Hear me out

So like, Varshahn shows up in Sharlayan, presumably while Vrtra is still doing stuff in Radz-at-Han. He clearly shares some degree of senses with his avatars so because of who I am as a person, my first thought was obviously “Wow, Vrtra could have a threesome with two people on different continents.”

I was thinking Estinien and Alphinaud for this but honestly you can pick anybody you want, as long as they are having sex with multiple instances of Vrtra simultaneously across an improbable distance. Maybe they coordinate (via linkpearl or sexy descriptions from Varshahn/Vrtra about what’s happening on the other end), or maybe they just have their own partner’s reactions to go off of and Vrtra has a disorienting, overstimulating time.

General preference for small Varshahn but feel free to use the big one if you’d like. Heck, use them both (probably not ACTUALLY possible from an in-universe perspective since he’s only got two eyes, but eh).

Thancred gave us that cheeky line in the Dark Throne patches about Varshahn’s big form, well, they do grow up so fast or whatever, and this has been a distant little thought of mine since. I need Thancred to fuck and get fucked by both versions of Varshahn to compare and contrast.

Or, if you’re interested in writing Thancred/Varshahn but little Varshahn is your squick, he can just fuck the big one, but there should be some element of the “my, how you’ve grown,” horny energy still goin’ on.

For reasons totally unrelated to any recent announcements I want to see Martyn getting double teamed by those two Mamool Ja he hangs out with. Consensual, dubcon, noncon, not really particular as long as this wet cat of a blue mage gets properly stuffed. Bonus if they have a Weird Dick Situation going on, like two heads or ridges.

So Sicard and Honoroit have the same hairstyle. Emmanellain went abroad and immediately fell into a relationship with a guy who bickers with him, is much smaller than he is, and has an identical haircut.

[…]

So canonically, Varis’ wife and Zenos’ mother is a woman named Carosa wir Galvus, but we don’t get much information about her. We know that Regula van Hydrus was a friend of the Emperor, and incredibly loyal to Varis in his lifetime, and my personal belief is that the gayest thing two men can do is call each other an old, dear friend.

[…]

Ardbert and Fray are having wild makeouts, Ardbert with the frantic wild desperation of a man who has been completely bereft of contact for a century and is pretty sure if he doesn’t come right now he will literally explode; Fray with the singleminded methodical determination of someone trying to fulfill every horny daydream they’ve ever repressed.

The kicker is that both of them are freaky soul ghosts and can’t really touch each other, but if Fray, say, kisses the WoL, Ardbert feels it, and if Ardbert nibbles the WoL’s neck, Fray feels it. So the Warrior of Light is somewhere between a catalyst, a conduit, and a third wheel- a canvas upon which Fray and Ardbert express their lust for one another. Is it masturbation? Self-cest? An Orgy of One? The Warrior of Light isn’t really sure but they’re getting spitroasted by ghosts and having an absolutely swell time.

Forchenault and Ameliance end up inviting the WoL into their bed. The WoL takes them up on it and then does everything in their power to make sure Alphinaud and Alisaie Never Find Out.

During the expedition into Garlemald, Cirina struggles with the intense cold more than some of the other Au Ra. Magnai offers his majestic self as a source of warmth. Sadu sees right through him and challenges it right away. Cirina ends up sandwiched between the two headstrong, prideful khans, and things quickly start to heat up, in more ways than one.

Sadu and Magnai compete to see who can please Cirina more thoroughly. They’re both mostly focused on Cirina and her pleasure, but OP would find it hilarious if Magnai ends up coming first out of all three of them because of something Sadu says or does to tease him, and for her to mock him mercilessly for it while he’s kind of in shock and questioning everything about himself because really, Sadu was the one to undo him!?

Erichthonios is attracted to Themis but projects a bit of his mommy issues with (and fucked up attraction to) Athena onto him. Lahabrea fucks Themis in front of him to try and break him out of the mindset, but is also obsessing over Athena so he’s WAY too into fucking her proxy. Erichthonios feels guilty and aroused and isn’t sure if he’s more jealous of Lahabrea fucking Themis or Themis getting fucked by Lahabrea. Athena may or may not be actually present, but she’s important enough to be a Presence in there, you know? Erichthonios is definitely also thinkin’ about mom while he jerks off to his dad fucking his boyfriend. What a mess.

Set in the Garlemald section of early game-ish Endwalker. Jullus really, really resents the twins and the Warrior of Light for playing good Samaritans and offering the Garleans help in their darkest hour, to no doubt make demands of them later. He takes it out on the twins while they’re collared. If this is a straight-up noncon situation, maybe he starts out on just one of the twins but threatens to involve the other if the first steps out of line. Bonus points for knife or gun kink.

Exactly what it says on the tin. Grinnaux and Paulecrain charm an unsuspecting third person, get them to a secondary location and proceed to do horrible, horrible things to them. Stopping short of character death, most kinds of non-con, torture, etc, are all on the table.

Before sealing the Crystal Tower shut for good, instead of talking about their feelings re: the tower, the void, allag and everything…they fuck.

Bonus for rough sex, bonus x2 for any kind of non penetrative sex act, super super bonus for Cid/Nero getting lost in their old arguments and G’raha grabbing their attention back by being extra rough