Yeah… I just need the Warrior to take Ramuh’s centaur dick in their ass while receiving enough electrical current through their body to kill a lesser mortal and getting off on it. Gender of the WOL doesn’t matter, neither does the justification for the porn, maybe it’s a new tankbuster or something.

I know how basic this kink is, but listen, there’s just something about the bargain bin porno plotline of “traditional wife gets turned into an anal-loving slut by someone who isn’t her husband.” That’s it, that’s all I want: dutiful wife and mother Ameliance getting fucked in the ass and loving it, to the point that she starts to prefer it over anything else.

[…]

Post Endwalker, Jullus is dealing with a lot of things. He’s wound tight and more than a little lost without Quintus’ guidance. Maxima and Lucia can see this, and find his distress familiar, both former Garlean citizens with… complicated relationships to the Empire themselves. Maxima and Lucia decide (together, or independently) to take him under their wing, and mentor him for a while as he settles into a leadership role.

[…]

“You have tasted my spear, but are you ready for my butt!?”

Newly knighted Alaimbert of the Spiked Butt cannot understand why people are always laughing behind his back, so to prove he is worthy of their respect, he seeks a battle-hardened opponent with whom he may cross steel.

- No Ifs, Ands, or Butts, a FATE in Coerthas Western Highlands (X:31.0, Y:32.0)

Yes, I’m requesting porn of a single joke character back in Heavensward. Listen. I just need him to genuinely not realise what he’s saying until someone decides to take him up on the offer. I want him to get his ass ate and then fucking REAMED out there in the Coerthas snow. By one (or multiple) of his “brothers” from the Knights Dragoon? By the Warrior of Light? A random adventurer? Random DRAGON, even? Dealer’s choice! I just really enjoy seeing this idiot whenever I go past the FATE.