Menphina can see into the true hearts of mortals, through to their deepest desires. The WOL’s most shameful current desire is Dalamud’s knot. Menphina and her faithful hound indulge them and break the Warrior of their inhibitions. Gender and race of the WOL are up to you, as is the question of whether they’ve given in such desires before or if Dalamud is just special.

So… the Unicorn mount you get as a reward from the WHM stuff.

Haurchefant is clearly a little too enamoured with horses, and the symbol of his house in particular. He’s also clearly very infatuated with the Warrior of Light. Consider: Haurchefant is exactly the kind of freak who’d enjoy watching the WHM!WoL (whim-wol? wheem-wol?) cavort with the noble creature whose symbol is on his shield. Sexually.

[…]

Y’all know the theory that Emet is the shoebill?

Y’all know that Greek myth where Zeus rapes a human woman in the form of a swan?

Yeah.

Do shoebills have dicks? I know some waterfowl have them but I don’t know if shoebills do.

This is a fictional shoebill piloted by a vengeful millennia old sorcerer though, it probably doesn’t matter.