A Girl in Every Port

After years of knowing about this movie, I just now finally watched this online. It stars Groucho Marx without either of his brothers with William Bendix, Marie Wilson, and Don DeFore, the latter two I previously saw in My Friend Irma when DeFore was potentially romantically paired with the other leading lady, Diana Lynn. The movie's about a couple of sailors dealing with a horse. I think that's all I'll say about the plot which can be quite confusing but is still quite funny considering some of the lines and the delivery of especially Groucho. By the way, this was only the second of producer Irwin Allen's movies starring that Marx brother, the previous one being Double Dynamite. He'd cast Groucho one more time in The Story of Mankind which also featured his siblings Harpo and Chico, all in separate segments.

In many ways, the plot to "A Girl in Every Port" plays like an Abbott & Costello movie. William Bendix plays Tim...a rather dim sailor who is bossed around by his friend, Lucky (Groucho Marx). As for Lucky, he's a con man...and a fast-talking one at that.

The story begins with Lucky and Tim, once again, in the brig on the ship where they serve. It seems that despite being real rogues, the US Navy is apparently hard up and this alone would explain why they weren't discharged. After Tim foolishly buys a bum horse with his inheritance, their captain gives them time off duty to get Tim's money back for the horse. However, instead of just asking for the money, the scheming Lucky comes up with a plan to not only get Tim's money back...but a bit more for their trouble. This plan includes the help of a ditzy blonde (Marie Windsor) and her lookalike horse.

When the film was made, Groucho was 62 years-old...way too old to be a common seaman in the Navy. But considering how silly the plot is, this is the least of the plot problems in the film. Switching horses like they do isn't possible due to tattoos and other means the racetracks have to make sure horses aren't switched. But again....with a comedy like this, you can overlook all this.

So is it any good? Well, Bendix is just okay...and he doesn't really contribute a lot to the story. Instead, the movie seems much more a Groucho vehicle and he dominates the film. As for Marie Wilson, she's not as one-note and annoying as she often could be with her dumb blonde routine. The best thing the film has going for it, apart from Groucho, is energy and silliness. Not a great comedy but a very enjoyable one.

Groucho Marx and William Bendix deserve much better material than what they are given here. A bad script with unfunny jokes gives these two talents nothing to work with. Why they ever agreed to do this film is one of the great mysteries of Hollywood!

For fans of both Groucho Marx and William Bendix, A Girl In Every Port will give some good moments for fans of both. But as a comedy team the two have no real chemistry between them.

I'm sure that Howard Hughes running RKO at the time must have thought these two were very funny so why not get a film property for both. For those who asked how Bendix and Marx could have been in this film you don't need to be a genius to figure it out. Howard Hughes could write checks and make offers impossible to refuse.

The guys are a pair of aged sailors in Uncle Sam's navy and Bendix is left a racehorse, one that's consistently running out of the money. But he's got a twin that's stakes race quality and so the plot begins.

Marie Wilson is at her airhead best and both guys are panting hot and heavy. But she prefers Don DeFore who loves the sport of kings. And in the end he prefers her to cold society fish Dee Hartford.

Also trying to exploit the twin horses are shady trainer Gene Lockhart, shady jockey George E. Stone, and gangster Teddy Hart. They all get their little bits, a chance to strut their stuff.

Like in A Day At The Races which if memory serves Groucho Marx was also in, there's the climatic big race. I'm still trying to wonder where they got a jockey outfit for Bendix. More important how could his horse win with that kind of weight being carried? Secretariat couldn't have handled it.

A Girl In Every Port is a passably amusing comedy, fans of the leads should like it.

Groucho Marx made this film for his friend, producer Irwin Allen and they would work together again with co-star Marie Wilson in the overblown epic comedy THE STORY OF MANKIND. A GIRL IN EVERY PORT is an unfunny comedy starring funny people (William Bendix included) that perhaps were a bit beyond their prime (products of the studio system which had fallen apart they were dumped into TV with some success and took what ever they could get in low-budget theatrical garbage like this). Irwin Allen, who showed greatness in adventure and science fiction just didn't have the knack for a full blown comedy and had the good sense to quit producing comedies after making just a couple (though some would argue Irwin Allen's LOST IN SPACE became a camp comedy after the first year). Marie Wilson (best known as MY FRIEND IRMA) starred in another horse racing comedy called SWEEPSTAKES WINNER (1939). If you can catch that film on TCM it's a lot funnier and a much better year for movies.