How to Be Very, Very Popular

Unpleasant comedy about two belly dances on the run from gangsters. Orson Bean carries the movie on his back. However much Orson brings the movie up Sheree North drags it back down again. A real stinker. Do yourself a favour and avoid this movie at all costs.

The film starts off as if I was seeing "Some Like it Hot" years before. Two strip-tease dancers witness the shooting death of a Chinese stripper on stage and are pursued by police and the killer alike. Sounds funny and promising but the film soon falls into a trap of utter stupidity.

Bette Grable (too old for the part) and Sheree North are the two fleeing strippers who wind up in a college dormitory and cause mayhem there. North is accidentally hypnotized by Tommy Noonan and spends much of the picture in a hypnotic state. How fortunate for her.

There are two really good performances here by Charles Coburn, as the college dean, more interested in the college getting money than actually providing education and Alice Pearce, as a wacky housemother in the school.

Fred Clark, as the millionaire father, who doesn't know that his son, Orson Bean, has been expelled is given the part of the guy getting hit over the head as he is confused with the killer. Rhys Williams gets the same treatment as North's father.

Bette Grable plays Stormy Tornado. Stormy? This storm blew out to sea. Big-time.

Stormy Tornado (Betty Grable) and Curly Flag (Sheree North) are a team of "interpretative dancers" (not "belly dancers" as incorrectly identified by a previous user comment) who witness the murder of Miss Cherry Blossom Wang and are the run from her killer. They pool their money to get on a bus and wind up in College City, still dressed in their stage costumes. They wind up in an all-boys college dorm and the film ensues with a series of not very funny events because of their situation, their lack of dress and Curly being accidentally hypnotized. This is one of Sheree North's first "big" roles (she was offered the part that Marilyn Monroe turned down, and at the time was viewed by Fox as their new "blonde" to replace their unwilling star Marilyn Monroe, who wanted more substantial roles). She delivers a very wooden performance. Betty Grable, on the other hand, made this her last film for Fox. While she delivers a typical sassy performance, she can not float the rest of the cast which is struggling with a really poorly written script. Orson Bean couldn't act his way out of a bag in this film. Tommy Noonan (Eddie) and Robert Cummings (Wedgewood) also deliver a zinger or two, but the film is really uneventful. A film only for die-hard fans of Grable or North.

This film is sadly embarrassing for many reasons, perhaps the most glaring, initially, is its complete disrespect and misuse of Betty Grable whose scenes really are few and far between. Both Grable and the terrific Sheree North are wearing raincoats for most of the film, the latter only coming to life (she is hypnotized for most of the 'epic') during one sex-sational dance number. Grable's legs are seen once or twice, but there is no song, no number for her to do...YET, amidst the rubble, Grable's growing craft as a comedienne are visible momentarily. The culprits in this disaster are the inept writers and, of all people, director Nunnally Johnson (didn't he know any better?). The dialog is a blithering mess... and the plot meanders across a landmine of sloppy character developments and plot machinations. Robert Cummings and Tommy Noonan are pretty awful in dreadfully written parts. Orson Bean and Alice Pearce occasionally show a bit of humor. Sheree North, a fine dancer and, later in her career, one of the most under-appreciated and excellent actresses ('No Down Payment' as an example) can merely show her adorable self. The plot plods along with no sense, and has an ending that is disgracefully sloppy for a professional unit. (Whatever plot came from Howard Lindsay's play is missing). Had Johnson tried an out-and-out farce, it might have been a little funny, because the cast understands comedy. But this entire 'romp' thumps down to a disastrous level. Pity the talented two blonde stars. One merit - you can see, briefly, the lovely Charlotte Austin who went on to a very slight film career.

"How to Be Very, Very Popular" was anything but upon its release, and has not gained any stature since. In fact, its reputation has actually grown worse. It's infamous as the picture that Marilyn Monroe refused to do, leading to her celebrated walk-out on Fox. Sheree North, a practically unknown dancer-starlet, was quickly put into the role, coiffed and made up to look almost exactly like MM. The film, needless to say, bombed, and Sheree--strong armed into being a virtual Monroe clone--bore the brunt of most of it. Betty Grable (MM's co-star from "How to Marry a Millionaire") took advantage of the film's lack of success and used it as her chance to retire from the grind. In retrospect, the film really isn't all that bad--although it's obvious why Monroe balked at playing the North role; it's little more than window-dressing. Actually, had North been given the role from the get-go, and not encouraged to look and sound EXACTLY like a carbon copy MM, the picture might've been pulled off as a cute, harmless little comedy. The film was clearly a step down for a superstar of Monroe's stature, but could've been a nice, showy stepping stone for a rising starlet. Grable is her usual warm, bright self, but she's getting a bit old to be playing scantily-clad chorines. Next to the very young North, especially, she looks decidedly matronly. North isn't given much to work with (again, it's hard to comment on a performance which was basically conceived as a blurred copy of an original), but she does get to do a splendid, wild, rock and roll dance to "Shake, Rattle & Roll." Sadly, the film's complete failure relegated the promising North to the back burner; and she had much more musical and dramatic talent than Jayne Mansfield, whom Fox began to build up instead. So, if "How to Be Very, Very Popular" should show up on television one afternoon, sit back and enjoy it. It may not be great cinema, but it's an underrated little slice of mindless entertainment.