Jupiter's Darling

Historically hysterically satirical, this showcase for the swimming talents of Olympian-turned-actress Esther Williams and the vocal talents of the great Howard Keel, is ostensibly set in the Roman Empire but reeks of 1950s Hollywood. Based on the landmark 1927 play "The Road to Rome" by the great Robert Sherwood, this movie did not fare well at the box office, but the reason may be that it was too racy, the lyrics and dialogue too ironic for the times. Dealing humorously with Hannibal's march on Rome, the story line is really a plea against war and features a gloriously athletic Williams driving a chariot, looking like Wonder Woman, and escaping her pursuers in a breathtaking underwater chase scene. Marge and Gower Champion's dance sequences are equally athletic and mesmerizing, especially their dance with Hannibal's elephants. While the songs may not be particularly memorable, the lyrics are often hilarious, especially "If This Be Slav'ry" and "Never Trust a Woman." The narration sung/spoken by Richard Haydn is also an amusing touch. The film opens with a caveat that sets the tone: "In 216 B.C., Hannibal the Barbarian marched on Rome. The history of this great march has always been confused. This picture will do nothing to clear it up."

Enormous in scope and production with elephants, horses, and a cast of thousands of costumed, weaponized extras, this picture is a cute diversion for an hour and a half. Esther Williams is downright gorgeous, period. The superbly dependable Howard Keel didn't have to visit the cafeteria, inasmuch as he spent the whole picture chewing the scenery. The battle scenes were well-shot, the humor and 1955ish lust delightfully presented. The Champions deliver their usual athletic dence routines to witty choreography by Hermes Pan. Unfortunately, the lyrics of the infrequent songs are abysmal, probably the result of a competition MGM sponsored for high school students. Fortunately, the tuneless, unmemorable music for these songs stoops to the level of the words. Still, just to catch an eyeful of the well-put-together Ms. Williams and Mr. Keel make this a pleasant way to kill an hour and a half.

A legendary MGM flop, one of the big musicals reputed to have helped kill off big musicals. And it's pretty silly in spots, with a buff Gower Champion singing lyrics like "If this be slavery/ I don't want to be free!" and song-and-dance cues arriving perfunctorily. But it's also an enterprising effort at keeping a dying genre alive, with plenty of sung-lyric exposition by Richard Haydn as a bewildered historian, and more plot-song integration than most MGM musicals attempted. It's also sexier than the average musical, quite frank about why Hannibal kept delaying his attack on Rome, and with plenty of chemistry between Esther Williams and Howard Keel in the main plot and the Champions as the secondary, comic-relief couple. The Burton Lane-Harold Adamson songs aren't great, but they aren't terrible, and for such a huge production, it's surprisingly light on its feet and irreverent. There's a fairly exciting, well-edited chase-through-the-water climax, and if Dorothy Kingsley's screenplay doesn't achieve the Shavian heights it's attempting to scale, it's smarter than most musical screenplays of the day. The wide screen is well filled, and the thing moves quickly. Well worth a look.

'Jupiter's Darling' had so much going for it. Who cannot resist a cast with the likes of Esther Williams, Howard Keel, George Sanders and Marge and Gower Champion, and that it was directed by George Sidney, who made a number of great films.

It is a shame that 'Jupiter's Darling' wasn't better than it was. By all means, it is not a terrible film and not as bad as its notorious financial flop suggests. It does have many pleasures and the reasons for seeing the film in the first place come off well. This said, all have done much better, despite loving Keel and Sanders to death 'Jupiter's Darling' was seen as someone in the process of watching and reviewing every Esther Williams musical and it is one of my least favourite of hers along with 'Texas Carnival'.

Williams certainly isn't one of the problems, in fact she is in her serenely beautiful Amazonian prime and her aquatic skills second to none and the envy of many. Neither is Keel, who is masculine, commanding and charismatic and sings with his usual warm beauty and robust brio, especially in "Never Let the Night Get Away" where he is quite touching. The two click together superbly. Sanders is his usual suave and smooth self, yes even in a role pretty far removed from the types he excelled at (villains and cads), while Richard Haydn is amusing and Marge and Gower Champion are a delight.

That's not all though. The highlight is the truly spectacular water ballet in "I Had a Dream", one of Williams' best and most visually stunning water ballets. The chase sequence is also impressive. Marge and Gower Champion have two notable song and dance numbers and do a terrific job with both. "Life of an Elephant", which sees them dancing with painted elephants, is to be seen to be believed, though some may prefer the more energetic and less lengthy "If This Be Slavery".

Visually, 'Jupiter's Darling' is the very meaning of lavish, the use of CinemaScope, rich bold colours and inventive use of wide-screen are just exemplary, "I Had a Dream" being the standout in this regard. The costumes and sets are very handsome too.

However, the songs and score are only at best serviceable and generally forgettably substandard, the rousing "Hannibal's Victory March" and the touching "Never Let the Night Get Away" being exceptions. The rest have not-easy-to-remember melodies and sometimes very silly lyrics, some like in "Never Trust a Woman" being questionable. Choreographically, "I Had a Dream" and the Champions' numbers impress but the rest lumber and look under-rehearsed.

Storytelling is uneven, sometimes it moves quickly and has great energy but other parts are ponderous, and there is a sense that the film was trying to mix too many styles and genres and it never quite came together. Worst of all is the script, which is impossible to take seriously even in moments that are meant to be serious and even when you are taking the film for what it is, if Keel and Sanders really did have the giggles during filming that's hardly surprising. Sidney's direction is competent but uninspired.

Overall, difficult to rate but with enough pleasures to make it watchable. 5/10 Bethany Cox

Esther Williams, Howard Keel, and husband-and-wife dancing team Marge and Gower Champion star in this musical about Hannibal. I went into this a little wary, but wanted to see one of Esther's lesser-known films. Granted, it may have earned a somewhat campy and corny reputation, but I found as I got deeper and deeper into it, that I really enjoyed it. What's a little ingenious about it, is that they worked in an Esther Williams swimming interlude in a dramatic way, as she is being chased. And, the great supporting cast of George Sanders, William Demarest, Douglas Dumbrille and Richard Haydn helps a lot. And, both Howard Keel and Esther are very believable as these mythological characters, she so beautiful and he so big, virile, and commanding. This is the type of film, that one will have the dialogue and especially the songs memorized from watching this over and over, because it's so much of a guilty pleasure. I definitely am going to see this again soon. I was going to give this a seven, given the fact this isn't one of Esther's top successes, but it's just so enjoyable, that I give it an '8.' After all, who cares what movie critics think? Just sit back and enjoy the histrionics of Hannibal and Amytis. By the way, do you think this is accurate?