The Beatniks

First, a caveat: There are no actual beatniks in this film. Nary a beret or black turtleneck or bongo to be seen. As for the movie itself, to steal a line from Roger Ebert, "The Beatniks" is transcendently bad. It soars above ordinary badness as the eagle soars above the mosquito.

The plot is a common one of the era: kid from the wrong side of the tracks is spotted by a talent agent, but alas, his crazy friends ruin it all for him. To call the characters two-dimensional is an insult to planar surfaces. To call the plot threadbare is an insult to rags. To call ... Oh, never mind. You get the idea.

The entire production screams, "high school drama club project," though the actors playing the teens are a bit long in the tooth for the youth set, dig it? MST3000 had great fun with it, though, and thus it's worth a watch.

I watched this movie because of my interest in voice actor Paul Frees, who wrote and directed "The Beatniks." He also wrote the lyrics to all the songs in the picture, with music by Eddie Brandt (who had worked with Spike Jones). In the Frees biography, his ex-wife (who stars in it) warns readers NOT to bother watching it because it's AWFUL. She claims that Frees knew nothing about directing, and that the photography and sound were also terrible. And she was right: this movie is a stinker, loaded with clichés about teenage troublemakers and also the entertainment industry of the 50s. It never really getting off the ground, leaving in the "deep Frees."

That is one song that never fails to crack me up.

Beatniks anyone? See any? There are none to be found here. Tony Travis plays Eddy Crane; rebel and small-time hood, but also sings like a pansy femme?? This definitely ruins any credibility since you really can't straddle the fence. Either tell Iris to shut up, or sing "With a Look"; you can't do BOTH! That audition scene is hilarious getting to see hardcore, tough Eddy crooning sentimentality. HA HA HA HA!!!

Who else shamed themselves? Peter Breck as Mooney. Ham anyone? He takes the manic psycho character to probably the only entertainment in this flop. It's tough to be scared of someone who threatens you with "I'm gonna MOON you!!". His soliloquy regarding the barkeep is also priceless scene followed by on odd whiny fit. Then there's annoying broad Iris who's dancing can scar even those unprepared for random corkscrew gyrations. Mr. Morrissey taught me that to succeed as a talent agent, get in an auto accident, call for a tow, and listen to the guy near the jukebox!! Then there's a dive called Charlie's run by a guy named Gus(?).

Despite this corny premise, maybe the makers of Beatniks were trying to make a statement about life; it's not all wavy gravy and the man always square forcing the minds of our best generation to conform to antiquated norms while suppressing self expression. Rail against the establishment!! Whoops, slipped into Beatnik mode there. Well, someone had to because this film sure doesn't!!

"I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!"

It's true...it's not what you say, but how you say it.

No Beatniks appear in this film, the acting by the young leads is execrable, the song lyrics are both insane and badly lip-synched, and the plot is dumb. As others have commented, radio and voice actor Paul Frees assembled quite a nice cast of fellow radio and voice actors to play the "normal" people in this tale of troubled youth, but he neglected to cast credible actors as the over-the-hill "teens" who hang around engaging in delinquent acts of senseless violence. I was quite pleased to see radio and voice actor Stanley Farrar on screen, and, like other comment writers i wonder whose rather nice voice actually sang the lame songs that the character Eddie was inexpertly mouthing along to, but all in all, this one is a loser. Having read all the reviews here, some folks will no doubt seek it out for its sheer badness. To them i say, "Come back later and tell us if it was really worth it!"

This is my largest complaint; no Beatnik culture, no snapping fingers and performance poetry, marijuana, not even the stereotypical black clothes and sunglasses -- how can you get that part wrong? Instead the "Beatniks" are mostly your typical 50s squares and range to a geek-greaser (Mooney) and the lone woman in the group, think of a "Grease" Frenchy-Rizzo mix.

Since, the majority of the plot of this movie revolves around Eddie's musical ability the audience gets plenty of solo performances. The music is fine for a low budget movie like "Beatniks", nothing you will remember past the end credits. Again, even when Eddie was a "Beatnik" he wasn't singing Beatnik music, more like Mel Torme-like crooning.

Other glaring mistakes in this movie is the continuity (see the GOOFS section) and the character of Moon is just ridiculous, with a catch phrase that will live on forever (I'm gonna MOON ya'!). The Eddie character is a little annoying in his inconsistency -- is he a goon with a heart of gold or just a jerk? All in all this is a very, very bad movie.