Bachelor Flat

British archaeology professor at a Southern California university, living at the home of his fiancée--a world traveler who is currently away--finds himself saddled with a young chippie who claims to be an escapee from reform school; turns out she's the 17-year-old daughter of his future wife, who somehow failed to mention she was the mother of a teenager. Budd Grossman adapted his play along with the film's director, Frank Tashlin, yet neither seems able to tell the difference between shrill one-liners and clever repartee. The cast is manic and cartoonish, dashing in and out of the professor's pad on the beach as if this were a "Carry On" farce from the 1950s. Terry-Thomas isn't as offensive as the younger players, but working strenuously at a piece of fluff is ultimately disastrous for the picture and the star. Farce doesn't seem to be Tuesday Weld's strong suit (she's metallic and grating instead of charming), while Richard Beymer as a smitten law student is merely a hole in the screen. Not much headway from 1954's "Susan Slept Here", which Tashlin also directed, although this one at least has a cute dachshund with a fetish for dinosaur bones. *1/2 from ****

Suave and fastidious British archeology professor "Patterson" (Terry-Thomas) is forever fending off the attentions of his amorous female students, so hopes that the announcement of his engagement to "Helen" (Celeste Holm) might calm things down. He's in for quite a shock though when her daughter "Libby" (Tuesday Weld) shows up having absconded from boarding school. Now he knew nothing of her, nor she him so when she catches him in the shower - well that's just the start of the misunderstandings galore that follow. None of this is helped by his youthful neighbour "Mike" (Richard Beymer) who quickly takes a bit of a shine to her. Poor old "Patterson" is quickly out of his depth as the scenarios become sillier and the intervention of a certain four-legged "Jessica" adds even more mayhem as she fancies a gnaw on his recently arrived ancient dinosaur bone. It starts off quite engagingly but does rather fall into a repetitious frying pan to fire series of predictable scenarios that even the naturally talented Terry-Thomas struggles to rejuvenate after half an hour of romantic, under the bed, semi-slapstick. Beymer and Weld look like they are enjoying themselves though, and the few scenes with Holm make it a watchable enough comedy that epitomises the spirit of the British stiff upper lip contrasted with a good dose of American free love and even a bit of French joie de vivre too! You'll never remember it, but it passes ninety minutes effortlessly.

Mike Pulaski (Richard Beymer) narrates in the beginning that the British have been stealing American chicks ever since the War of Independence. He is both jealous and an admirer. He's a carefree hound-dog living in a trailer on the beach. His neighbor Prof. Bruce Patterson (Terry-Thomas) is both his friend and his mentor. Patterson's upcoming marriage to Helen Bushmill (Celeste Holm) is breaking the hearts of all his female students and many female acquaintances. He is surprised by Libby Bushmill (Tuesday Weld) who shows up out of nowhere. Helen had failed to tell him about her daughter.

I am of two minds about Terry-Thomas. On the one hand, he is far from Indiana Jones and I don't get all the female attention. On the other hand, it prevents him from developing any chemistry with his female pursuers especially Libby. Ultimately, Tuesday Weld steals the movie. The teenage performer has a great surprising voice. Quite frankly, her character should be the lead although this is strictly a male fantasy comedy with plenty of slinky babes. It has some moments of fun which elevates its light weight quality.

Critics tend to ignore director Frank Tashlin's films, except for the two starring Jayne Mansfield. When they do review Tashlin's work, they invariably mention that he began as an animator (Warner Brothers' Looney Toons), and that Tashlin's live-action movies tend to feature cartoonish characters and impossible sight gags. 'Bachelor Flat' is unusual for Tashlin, in that the main characters are all plausible human beings. Even more interestingly, 'Bachelor Flat' appears to be Hollywood's attempt to turn Terry-Thomas into a light-comedy romantic lead, rather than a comic villain.

Terry-Thomas here plays a veddy British professor at one of those California colleges where all the students are young, tanned, and impossibly good-looking. Terry-Thomas's character is named Bruce Patterson, which sounds to me more like an Australian name! The dialogue identifies Patterson as an 'archaeologist', but he's clearly a palaeontologist: did they think we wouldn't know what this word means? The movie's premise maintains that Patterson is irresistible to women, due to his English accent and his charming manner.

The young romantic leads are Tuesday Weld (as a flighty teen runaway) and Richard Beymer (as a swot). Weld is supposed to be all cute 'n' adorable, and we're supposed to want to hug her, but I just wanted to slap her and call her an idiot. For one thing, she runs away from boarding school wearing high heels!

What on Earth can explain the brief success of Richard Beymer? This tall handsome non-entity displays no acting talent whatever. In 'The Diary of Anne Frank' he utterly failed to convince me that he was European. In all his romantic roles (including 'Bachelor Flat') he quite fails to convince me that he has any interest in women. Beymer's best-known role is the male lead in 'West Side Story' (however did he get THAT part?), yet his utter blandness was the biggest flaw in that great film.

Tuesday Weld and Celeste Holm are meant to be playing daughter and mother, yet their characters have almost no footage together. I was impressed with one clever transition by Tashlin: a shot of Weld in bed with a photo of Holm, then cutting to a shot of Holm in bed with a photo of Weld.

Celeste Holm and her real-life husband (character actor Wesley Addy) have made generous donations to many charities, and they have been friendly to me personally: Holm has kindly granted me the time to interview her about her early days performing with George M Cohan. I really want to like her on screen ... yet Holm has never given a movie performance that impresses me. She's just dull here, playing an unsympathetic character. Allegedly, she's romantically involved with Terry-Thomas, but their characters have almost no screen time together.

Francesca Bellini (who?) gives one of the worst performances I've ever seen in a Hollywood sound film, and an unbilled American actress in the role of Miss Pilkington attempts an unconvincing English accent. Howard McNear is just as annoying here as he was in Mayberry. Rather a lot of this movie is implausible without being funny. If a tiny dachshund really did steal an immense dinosaur bone, dragging it slowly along inch by inch, would the dog really make TWO circuits round the same sand dune? Not likely.

I laughed heartily at one sight gag involving Terry-Thomas and a Cro-Magnon skull. The gag was reworked from a similar gag with Jules Munshin in 'On the Town', but it's funnier here and more imaginative. The film's prologue, featuring Terry-Thomas as a predatory redcoat in the days of Paul Revere, is amusing ... but it unfortunately sets the wrong tone for everything that follows. I liked the views of early 1960s California, although (based on this movie) there doesn't seem to be anyone in the entire state who isn't white. 'Bachelor Flat' features impressive production values, but there's really very little of interest here. I'll rate this movie just 4 out of 10.

Prf. Patterson goes through 'trouble' of dealing with the beautiful women that throw themselves at him & his surprise step daughter who returns home to pretend to be a juvenile.