Star Pilot

By the way, Gordon Mitchell is in this for about a minute, tops.

This one kind of starts off like They Came From Beyond Space, what with a group of scientists investigating an area in Sardinia where nothing grows due to radiation or something. Along for the ride are the elderly professor, his daughter the broad, and some other guys. The Chinese are in on things too as the bad guys, so everyone is surprised when the patch of lands houses a UFO, everyone is captured and forced to work for the aliens. Wait, the leader is 'a woman?'.

So you've got a serious prof and his acolytes, his ditzy daughter with her nice arse and bad acting, and everyone ends up heading out into space and you'll be glad of that because most of what happens beforehand is really boring. This film is saved by the cast heading out into space, because that's when the rules get thrown out of the window.

Not only is our broad 'forced' to wear the female leader's costumes, but vice versa happens as our aliens learn 'love' while exploring the cosmos while our enemy, the two Chinese guys, are attacked by a bunch of monkeys on some bizarre planet and never mentioned again.

There's other revelations, and a pretty abrupt ending, and so much crap randomness that I can't help but like this film more than I should. I thought I would hate it but things pick up about halfway through.

Unusual mid-sixties science fiction story about three crash landed aliens who "recruit" a scientist and his team to make repairs on their ship, and pilot it back to their home planet. Reasonable effort, although slightly drawn out and uninteresting, still has moments of suspense and character drama. The usual Italian glamour is provided by the sexy wanna-be actress, who goes along with the team, and wears increasingly outrageous outfits, and flirts with one of the male aliens. The lead alien, a fire haired female begins to see the error of her emotionless ways, and at one point exhibits romantic inclinations towards Kirk Morris. Acting is fine, effects average, storyline meandering but rarely fatally dull, with a few good bits, such as a rather weird attack by a group of alien gorillas. Slightly lacking in traditional Italian high octane liveliness, but compelling, and not without a few interesting twists.

Pros;

-Interesting basic storyline

-Most of the film's acting is consistently competent and believable

-Good imagery – especially the pair of skeletons at the cockpit of the other spaceship

Cons;

-Ends rather abruptly

-Some of the movie's logic is questionable

-Quite a few characters are simply left as cardboard cut outs

-The alien race appear completely human and aren't especially convincing as such

-Main room of the spaceship set gets claustrophobic after a while

-A very long sequence where the characters are in space, changing an arial, kills the pace for a bit and is un-necessarily tedious

-A child-like robot is killed early on, and after only a minute's screen time, although its' design was not especially interesting

-Plot stretches thin in some places, as it is a fairly basic idea with little deviation to carry the film along

-A terrible voice over at the start

This motion picture is interesting to watch, if for no other reason, then for analysis. It purports to have taken upon itself a complicated history. One fact is known, that of the original release date in Italy of 1966, although a website or two will show 1965. What happened since then is anyones guess. Yes, there was a 1977 release in the United States under the Monarch Releasing Corporation. The titles, "Star Pilot" and "Star Pilots" are given. Yet in the video release by Sinister Cinema the title is shown as "2 + 5: Mission Hydra" although the Monarch Releasing Corporation credit is also listed seemingly indicating this is the same version as the 1977 US dubbed release. The real confusion starts with the footage from other movies spliced in at some points. Another website claims the movies "Kaiju Daisenso(1965)" and "Yusei Gorasu(1962)" are interwoven with the plot. This may very well be, but Casey Kasem is also clearly seen. This would appear to be from "The Doomsday Machine" which had a checkered history of its own, being made in 1967(a year after "2+5"), but released in 1972. So therefore this footage must have been added only in the US release, though "2+5" premiered in West Germany in 1967. Various running times(84, 89, 90 + 92) are given as well depending on what source you refer to. The bottom line on this former late night favorite is, for the male viewers there is Leontine May(who dominates) and for the female viewers, Kirk Morris(pseudonym of Adriano Bellini) and Gordon Mitchell. It should also be mentioned for the classical music crowd, that although the credit is given on the IMDb for "theme from Toccato & Fugue in D Minor by JS Bach", it is not mentioned that it is under the direction of Leopold Stokowsky.

This movie was re-released to cash in on the original Star Wars mania. Filmed on a budget of maybe, 15,000 Lira, it is a tour-de-force of nearly every 50's SF cliche' from the greying Scientist father to his luscious, oh-so innocent raven haired daughter in her fishnet bodysuit (with strategically placed bits of fluff) being menaced by Ape creatures to Bruno the Martian "floating" across an expanse of space with the aid of a trampoline (no, I'm not kidding). SEE the mysterious ancient city model filmed resting on a chair! See the twinkling stars! (and try not to notice the wires, swaying in an apparent breeze from an off camera fan). If you love bad films, by all means check it out-it's a scream. I saw this as the bottom half of a double bill with "Spawn of the Slithis" and couldn't stop laughing....

When you are a science-savvy person, watching science fiction films is often a painful experience: whether it is completely unrealistic (but in a way dramatically understandable) gaffes like loud roaring sound effects in the vacuum of outer space, or the unbelievable idiocy of people who think "backup engines" are there to make a rocket go, well, back up ... one just never knows what offenses filmmakers will slap up on screen.

Unfortunately, there is little one can do to prepare for something like _Star Pilot_, or however one wants to reference this particular Italian "science fiction" mess. The creators of this thing not only did not have a scientifically literate person on set, they all seem to have skipped every science class that was offered in their school careers! Other reviewers have pointed out the film's startling revelation that -- contrary to what science tells us -- it is actually quite comfortable beyond the confines of any planetary atmosphere whatever, and you can just twirl around between spaceships without the benefit of a helmet or any other bulky garb. Truly amazing. I was also amazed to note that when "Bellsy" was out in the balmy vacuum repairing the ship's antenna, gravity just seemed to switch on and off without warning - since the damaged antenna he removed visibly fell down and out of sight, no matter how much bouncing around (on a trampoline, apparently) Bellsy did himself!

I could go on forever. I could cite the space chart / screen two characters stared at that appeared to have standard N-E-W-S compass directions on it. Future generations of Cub Scouts will no doubt be relieved to know that there is a North in outer space, and that their compasses will work.

And yet ... this film is so stupid on so many levels (despite pretensions to ... uh, something at the end) that it manages to be quite entertaining at times. It's THAT kind of bad. It would have made a good MST3K target. It's garish, incomprehensible, nonsensical, giddy, idiotic. Furthermore, some of the actors make okay eye candy, if you are into that kind of thing. "Leontine" alone is worth the price of admission, as she is some kind of cross between Angelina Jolie, Barbarella-era Jane Fonda, and something I can't quite name. Her costumes made me believe that Western culture does indeed have a basement, a hard rock floor beyond which nothing can possibly go. And yet ... no matter how often I wanted to turn away, I just ... could not.