Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die

In the 1960s, the James Bond movies were so successful that it led to MANY knock-off movies. Some of them were pretty serious (such as the Jerry Cotton movies starring George Nader) and some were utterly ridiculous and didn't try to be serious spy movies (such as the Matt Helm movies). I'd say "Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die" is somewhat in the middle...in some ways a serious Bond-like film as well as a parody at the same time.

The plot of "Kiss the Girls" is actually pretty similar to "Moonraker"...an official Bond movie which seems like a parody of itself due to all the gadgets and the silly sci-fi plot. And, like "Moonraker", the baddie hopes to wipe out the human race so he and his bevvy of sexy ladies in suspended animation can repopulate the planet!

Out to stop him in Ageny Kelly of the CIA (Mike Connors), a banana-chomping secret agent who is tough but not nearly as competent as Bond. To make up for his deficiencies, a female British agent (Dorothy Provine) helps along with a HUGE number of gadgets that she and her chauffeur (Terry-Thomas) have at their disposal.

So is this any good? Well, it's not dull. But it also isn't very good either. Connors is fine in the lead though later in the story he seems to have very little to do. Provine is terrible, as she seems about as British as a taco! Plus all the gadgets get to be pretty silly after a while. Overall, a curiosity more than a good movie...but one that isn't dull at all.

This seems to be a light knock-off of Bond films of the era but certainly not as well done or fun. The positives are Mike Connors and great scenery in Rio, so its a decent watch if you have nothing else to do. The plot is not well presented early on but you will get the idea who the villain is, who the protaganist is, and the grand plan the villain has to take over the world. I guess that's all you need to know, but it isn't very satisfying. Some plot points are a little confusing with an example of a diary, which seems to be important...and then it doesn't. It has decent action sequences, silly car chases, and lame gadgets. I would rate this a 5.5, OK but not good.

I have a friend who is trying to lose some weight. To accomplish this, he recently went on a banana diet. Whenever he's hungry he just eats a banana. Well it looks like Kelly, the hero of this film, is on the same diet. He eats bananas throughout the movie, to comedic effect and at the most unexpected of times. The man eats a banana while dangling from the back of a moving speedboat! Then he casually tosses the peel into the water!

It's a spoof of other spy films, but it never goes too far overboard with the parody like Austin Powers, which is what I love about it. The main character is not an unbelievable buffoon, but a smart, capable, sophisticated spy—not unlike James Bond but with his own, funny personality—with a few good one-liners and who appreciates a good banana. Sure, it's very cheesy at times, but that is balanced with a generous helping of action and a decent storyline, topped off with spot-on performances and fun dialogue. There is one stunt in particular, involving a helicopter and a well-known Brazilian statue that had me on the edge of my seat.

This movie is both funny and tense. It's never boring, and every scene has something good in it. Mike Connors is great in the lead role, and he's backed up by some outstanding performances by Susan Fleming and Raf Vallone. However, I particularly enjoyed Terry-Thomas' pitch-perfect performance in the role of an unassuming chauffeur with a few tricks up his sleeve.

I saw this film at a revival house in Los Angeles many decades after its release. I was initially intrigued because of the awesomely hilarious title and the strange but funny trailer I'd seen played the previous week at the same theater. Everyone in the theater laughed and had a good time, but after it was over I overheard some of the other people in the theater say that it was so bad it was good. I didn't get that feeling. I just felt like it was good. I haven't been able to find it on home video and I get the feeling that it never received a wide home video release, if any, but if you get a chance to watch it I highly recommend it.

Am i the only person in the world who has noticed that the Brazil/Rio sequence of "Moonraker" is an uncredited remake of this major parts of this film, swapping the sexes of the CIA and Brit agents?

Well, it is.

Even the sequence in the bedroom where Bond and the CIA grrl show each other their gadgets is straight out of "Kiss the Girls...".

All four main actors, which I've seen in many other movies, they have surpassed my expectations here in a good way. I'm talking about Mike Connors, Dorothy Provine, Raf Vallone and Terry-Thomas. They are all very good, due to the script and Henry Levin's good direction (together with Arduino Maiuri, who has directed only another film except this one). It's a delicious comedy, parodying spy movies, that is, the James Bond genre. And, not accidentally, in a Bond called "Moonraker," they were inspired by this movie, so well is done (this one, because, "Moonraker", just between me and you, it's probably the worst Bond). The beauties called Margaret Lee, Nicoletta Machiavelli, Marilu Tolo, they appear just a little bit, almost not at all. Instead, Dorothy Provine appears in full and she is delicious. Funny character Hans Thorner as Krüger. Very smart film, entertaining, a real beautiful surprise!