Texas Across the River

You need to park your brains at the door, put your tongue in your cheek and fully engage your funny bone for this film. This spoof is just that a spoof on everything that you find in a typical western and Texan. There is cows, oil, calvary, natives (I seriously doubt if there is a genuine North American native in the cast), good and bad guys and girls (mostly erring toward the good side). Nobody and nothing is spared from the writers' wit. This film is just good fun and a good laugh. I seriously doubt if it would meet any of the more modern standards for tolerance to racial groups and consideration for their feelings but this was the 60's and things were just beginning to change. Watch and enjoy whenever you see it coming. Do expect too much and you'll enjoy it more.

Don Andre de Baldasare was set to marry Pheobe Ann Naylor of Louisiana; after an affair of honor goes wrong, he has to flee across the river, into the wilds of Texas. Once arrived, he meets encounters Sam Hollis and his Indian sidekick, the Karonkawa Indian, Kronk, who are transporting rifles to the town of Moccasin Flats. Don Andrea rescues an Indian maiden, Lonetta, uses Spanish skills to tame longhorns, becomes Sam's rival for Phoebe's affections, heads off a band of angry Comahces and runs continually from the cavalry (who have come to Moccasin Flats to celebrate Texas' statehood but mostly charge after him in gallant groups). At the end of the film, the man Sam calls "Baldy" saves the town and also gets his girl--but which one wins him? In this cheerful and frequently hilarious screenplay, Alain Delon is very funny and understated as Don Baldasare, Dean Martin is a bit too-old as Sam Hollis perhaps but shows his excellent comedic timing in the likable role. Rosemary Forsyth is vivacious and very pretty as Phoebe Ann, Southern accent and all; Peter Graves and Andrew Prince lead the cavalry, to whom Graves continually issues orders such as "To the rur, har!" which no one understands any more than they can penetrate Kronk's Indian sayings, delivered deadpan and rather beautifully by Joey Bishop. Others in the large cast include Tina Aumont as the Indian girl, Michael Ansara as the Indian chief pursuing them, and Linden Chiles as his physically- inept son, Stuart Anderson, Roy Barcroft, George Wallace, Don Beddoe,.Kelly Thordsen, Nora Marlowe, and John Harmon. Director Michael Gordon kept the action and the laughs coming despite much of the film being filmed out-of-doors. the bright cinematography was supplied by veteran Russell Metty, the script by "Maverick" TV series alumnus Wells Root and Harold Greene, and the art direction was done by William D. DeCinces and Alexander Golitzen. Set decorations were supplied by John McCarthy Jr. and  James Redd; the vivid costume designs were created by Helen Colvig and Rosemary Odell. This is a personal favorite of mine as a writer, breezy in dialogue and attractively colorful and often amusing. I recommend it for repeated viewing, for its spaciousness and its intelligent comedy, its style and its infectious and fantasy-free good humor.

the mid sixties...back before we were so culturally/politically correct...this movie wasn't ever meant to be correct anyway...it was a spoof of course and anyone who comments on it negatively without considering that needs some help.....Texas across the river is a signature film for dean....westerns that he loved so much...also a comedy which he was famous for...(many confirm that off camera he was far funnier than jerry lewis back in his earlier days)

Texas across the river is a perfect example of a spoof done in the sixties...and if you consider it as such you will find it to be excellent!....some have commented about joey bishop (jew) playing an Indian...well (hello) that is exactly why it works...it was meant to be tongue in cheek!...one should have little wonder as soon as the organ spits out a 60's rhythm and melody every time the indians are seen...or the surf sounding guitar also used in the soundtrack....I love this movie for what its worth....escapism....during a time (1966) of tragedy....the Vietnam war.

This is a great fun movie that was released during the mid sixties wave of western spoofs. It has some jokes which fall a bit flat with 40 years of distance, but all comedy has a very short shelf life. In fact, there are gags in this film that not only stand the test of time, they amaze me at how well written and ahead of there time they seem to be. I love the cavalry orders being unintelligible. I love the Indians not getting anything right. I love Joey Bishop. The writers were very hip to western clichés, and took some brilliant unexpected turns with the script. It may not be a perfect movie, but if you love a good western spoof, then this is a great movie! Uh - ruhr - hur!

Dean Martin, Alain Delon, Joey Bishop, and Rosemary Forsyth star in "Texas Across the River" from 1966. This is a funny movie, full of slapstick, political incorrectness, and funny bits, and it also goes to show you how badly Alain Delon's career in the U.S. was mishandled. He made two westerns while in the U.S. - not exactly geared to females. Don't ask what Hollywood was thinking.

The beautiful debutante Phoebe Ann Naylor (Forsyth) is preparing for her wedding to Don Andrea de Baldasar, El Duce de la Casala (Delon) who awaits her in full regalia, including a sword. I will venture to say that for five years after Delon left the U.S. there was no tan makeup to be found in all of Los Angeles - he was soaked in it, as he was in The Yellow Rolls-Royce.

After a duel, Don Andrea's opponent falls out a window and Don Andrea is charged with murder. He escapes and heads for Texas, where he meets Sam Hollis (Martin) and his sidekick, Kronk (Bishop). Don Andrea rescues an Indian woman, Lonetta, tames cattle, and competes with Sam when Phoebe shows up.

The film, directed by Michael Gordon, was done tongue in cheek. Delon is a riot as a formal Spaniard not at home on the range. It's perfect for Martin and Bishop, as the script fit their style of humor perfectly. It's silly but sometimes you need silly. People who saw this film when it came out have fond memories of it.