Battle Beneath the Earth

In Las Vegas, a crowd has gathered to watch Arnold Kramer listening to the ground. He hears something like ants crawling beneath them. The cops arrest him as he tells them to talk to Cmdr. Jonathan Shaw. Shaw led a underwater sea research project which collapsed and killed 27 men due to unknown cause. He goes to the asylum to see his Korean war buddy Kramer who has a crazy idea. The Chinese are tunneling under the country to attack us.

It has a fun opening which reminds me of the Radiohead music video. It's a great scene but it's a long slow downhill slide from that point on. The movie really wants to be too big. Getting the military involved is a bad sci-fi move. It's a 50's sci-fi Yellow Peril B-movie and not a good one. It's a silly action film worthy of Flash Gordon. It's a cartoon. Once they got into a tunnel, one could expect that they follow the tunnel back to where-ever in the network. They should be calling for backup and flood the mine with men. It's all non-sense from a sci-fi comic book.

A classic. Utterly dismal. This film must have been made with the change left over from the first Blair Witch project. The rock wall tunnels practically wobble, truck headlights pretending to be rock boring lasers. Englishmen pretending to be Chinese with silly slant eyes - you know the style seen in every lame 60 or 70's movies - how hard is it to hire real Chinese as actors? If the effects stink they are fragrant compared to the plot. At one point to detect the Chinese tunnels the military orders the US to go silent for Gods sake; like it was a submarine on silent running! The whole things is so bad as to be camply hilarious.

So many opportunities to laugh at this film. Where does one begin? European actors in "yellowface" playing the bad guy renegade Chinese army. (Let's see here -- the bad guy in his lair always has an eccentric pet with him -- okay the guy has a parrot! Check that off the list!)

A film obviously made in Britain pretending to be a Hollywood film, which takes place in Las Vegas (unconvincing cardboard set inside a sound stage, plus some actual second unit stock footage), San Diego (England), Oregon (England again) and Hawaii (more stock footage, plus various underground tunnels (more paper mache sets in a sound stage).

Comically fake nuclear bombs. Laser guns mounted on bulldozers. Giant spinning tape reel computer banks...no wait, those were real at that time.

Bad directing, jump cuts, dropped frames, one establishing shot where the camera drops off the tripod. Awkward staging. Hokey dialog. The whole plot totally ridiculous. Well, it is like a live action comic book. So why should I take any bit of it seriously? Well, the characters seem to be dead serious about the whole enterprise. (That's good. True camp does not work if you give a "nod and a wink" to the audience...though that one scene with the slot machines in the mental hospital was perhaps a bit over the line...)

Yes, fans of The Batman or Green Hornet TV shows of this time period will be right at home here. Plenty of bright primary colors, swish pan transitions, and blaring cool-daddyo-jazz soundtrack. It's all here for the fan of 1960's camp and Cold War pop culture kitsch to treasure as an endemic artifact of its time, the likes of which we may never see again.

Thank goodness.

Claustrophobic, by Nature, Story of a "Chinese" Communist Invasion on America's Homeland by Tunneling.

Driving, Supposedly, Futuristic Sci-Fi Boring Vehicles.

That are Shown as Nothing More than Toy-Trucks Painted in Loud Colors with some "Teeth-Like" Appendages.

Moving at a Whopping 8 MPH and Encountering USA Resistance Once in a While to Slow Them as the Home of the Brave Manage to Invent a Rival, Unimpressive Looking (for Movie Buffs) Toy of Their Own.

The Film Starts with some Levity as a "Crackpot" Scientist with Ear to the Ground on a City Sidewalk Says...

"Listen, they're down there like ants, coming to exterminate us."

Turns Out the "Mad Scientist", who was "Locked-Up" in the "Loony-Bin", is the Only One Who can Invent such a Toy.

Unintentionally Funny Lines Pop-Up like...While Exploring with a Fellow, but Female Researcher, B-Movie Swashbuckler Kerwin Matthews, Stops Mid-Stride to ask...

"So how long have you been researching tunnels?".

Another Guffaw is, During the High-Tension Invasion, Discovering the Enemy, a Military-Man Gets on the Phone and Shouts...

"This is a PRIORITY, DOUBLE-SCRAMBLE THE SIGNAL."

Some Colorful Images as Wall-Paper and an Over-the-Top Comic-Book-James-Bond Megalomaniac, Can't Save the Boredom.

Forgotten Vietnam Conflict Propaganda Picture is Not Worth Remembering.

I can agree with the various shortcomings of this film although I loved it when I first saw it at a kid's matinée feature. The concept is so like a Bond movie I'm surprised it wasn't used for one. The scheming Chinese General could easily have been Dr. No. The special effects are nominal but serviceable and I'll offer the backhanded compliment that it could have been much worse if it had been an penny-pinching American production.

Anyway, see it for yourself if you dare but it's light fluffy fun from the late 60's when it seemed the viewing public knew nothing of science and could ignore the glaring errors, both scientific and plot-oriented.

Bonus! Ed Bishop of Gerry Anderson fame has a substantial role. Bonus again! The Chinese officers drive around in yellow German Kubelwagens.