Catalina Caper

By now, everyone should know that the beach movies in the mid '60s were at the bottom of the cinematic barrel. Little more than excuses to have a bunch of sexually inactive teenagers party, they make you gag time and again.

Which brings us to "Catalina Caper". It is actually possible to like this movie. All that you have to do is rent it and go straight to the Little Richard scene. If you watch only that scene, then the movie is rather admirable. But if you watch any other scenes, then you see that the movie is pure flotsam. A jumbled story of muscle men and big-breasted women foiling a Greek millionaire's heist, "Catalina Caper" will make you roll your eyes. But let's face it: Tommy Kirk never starred in any good movies.

If you really want to watch this flick, then watch the "MST3K" episode where they mock it. Joel and the 'bots have a marvelous time with this one. Servo even sings a song about the woman whom he calls "Creepy Girl". I believe that it was Crow who made a joke pertaining to the Greek guy's name.

You'd have to be out of your mind or detached from all common sense to find some redeeming value in this clunker. The plot seems to concern guys, girls, sand, a scroll and Mork & Mindy's Exidor doing pratfalls. Oh, and there are musical numbers, many musical numbers. These elements are strung together very loosely to form some sort of plot, but what's there on screen will make you scratch your head. Little Richard pops up and sings a catchy little dittie and shows everyone else involved what talent is. Best part of the film is when all the girls slap all of the guys and storm off. The next scene is a musical number and then everything is forgotten! Oh to be young and foolish and working on a beach picture. Mary Wells sings the title song "Never Steal Anything Wet."

There are only three things that I can say complimentary about Catalina Caper, one was that it offered some nice scenery of Catalina beach and the beach city of Avalon, Little Richard sang a number and Tommy Kirk got a needed paycheck. After his exile from Disney Studios and mainstream Hollywood, he probably needed the work and as we know he was taking work from wherever.

I'm sure it was the tourist board of Catalina Island that commissioned Catalina Caper, just make lots of nice cinematography of our island and then put some kind of story on it. Kirk plays a kid from Arizona where they don't have beaches, he's a self described 'desert rat' and he's there with buddy Peter Duryea to learn the beach scene.

Little does he know that he gets himself innocently involved in the stealing of an ancient Chinese scroll from the Ming dynasty by the parents of one of the beach kids. Despite his parentage the kid is honest and the beach gang unite to return the scroll and save the parents from jail. It's all frighteningly dumb.

A few laughs from Robert Donner who rivals some of the great slapstick comedians of the day in number of pratfalls he takes as an inept insurance investigator. The songs which are just grafted into the film are all right. Kirk and Ulla Stromstedt are clearly too old for the parts they play.

Catalina is a beautiful place from which dumb stories are located.

For starters, I usually don't watch Tommy Kirk movies. Most of us who have seen this piece of celluloid dung saw it on MST3K. When Volume 1 came out and included the films without the running commentary, I decided to see how bad some of these things actually are. My God what a fool I was.

The "plot" here is that some thieves decided to pull a bait and switch using a stolen scroll on some rich guy. The scroll gets lost due to incompetence while they're showing the goods to the rich guy's lackey. This could be a poor plot (not good, but would suffice to make a B movie) except for the fact that they decided to throw in a bunch of kids who get mixed up in the whole thing. Between the lousy music (Little Richard did OK, but the others were terrible), dancing, scuba footage, and attempts to develop love interests there should be something holding this together besides bad jokes and a loose caper "plot." On top of all of this, the "talent" seemed to not really care what was going on, so the results are predictably crappy.

For God's sake, don't watch without MST3K.

Tommy Kirk was signed to a four-picture deal with Executive Pictures Corporation and "Catalina Caper" was the first picture of that deal. Kirk subsequently did not make any further films with Executive Pictures, which should be an indication as to the quality and financial success of "Catalina Caper." A group of teens, led by Kirk, find themselves sucked into international intrigue over a forged and stolen scroll. The film is a bizarre hybrid of a Beach Party and Flint comic spy picture, but lacks the fun of either of those films. The Beach Party films were not exactly big budget musicals, but those films look like lavish MGM musical productions in comparison to the bottom of the barrel production values of "Catalina Caper." Outside of a few catchy musical numbers from surf bands you've never heard of, there's nothing to make this film worth watching. It wasn't even all that enjoyable on a camp level. Go ahead and skip this one.