The Karate Killers

I watched this not knowing anything about it. TCM showed it as part of their Joan Crawford marathon so I went into it blind, hoping to see a Joan movie I hadn't seen before. Well, I did. Sort of. This is apparently a "movie" that is spliced together from episodes of The Man From UNCLE TV show. While I have heard of the show before, I have never watched it. After viewing this, I doubt I ever will. I know the show has its fans and I'm sure the show has its merits that this film does nothing to showcase. But this left such a bitter taste in my mouth I can't imagine I will watch anything related to that show anytime soon...if ever. The thing that's most surprising to me is that this has a fairly big-name cast. Curd Jurgens, Herbert Lom, Kim Darby, Telly Savalas, Terry-Thomas, Leo G. Carroll, Jill Ireland -- not chump change. As for Joan, her part in this is minuscule and an easy contender for the most embarrassing performance of her career. If this is the kind of work she was being offered, no wonder she did Trog. I can't recommend this to anybody. It was not funny or thrilling or anything else that the supposed genre(s) of it would suggest. It was just bad.

When a leading scientist develops a formula for extracting gold from sea water he breaks his hides his formula and sends clues out to 4 of his 5 daughters. When he is killed by THRUSH, UNCLE agents Solo and Kuryakin join with the 5th daughter to retrieve the clues and find the formula before THRUSH can use the formula for their own evil ends.

This is another in the series of UNCLE TV movies used for the European market but it is one of the first to be a serious miss in terms of the UNCLE series. While others played themselves with their tongues in their cheek this takes itself a little too seriously. The first sign of this is that it drops the UNCLE opening theme in favour of a very 1960's "groovy" number by Every Mother's Son and then it starts to load itself up with star cameos. In fact the whole thing lacks the gently mocking humour of the other outings and puts itself forward as a "proper" spy movie.

This is a major failing as the action and story are not good enough to carry the film. The story is quite clever but the execution is poor. The story is basically in 5 bits - 4 sections dealing with each of the 4 daughters and the last being the final confrontation. The problem with this is that there is no real continuity and it feels piecemeal. Each chapter has a star - Terry Thomas, Telly Savalas, Joan Crawford, Herbert Lom - but this makes each section more about the cameos than about getting the formula. In fact in each section the formula usually easily falls into the hands of the 5th daughter by accident.

Both Vaughn and McCallum are OK in their roles but it is obvious that they aren't having as much fun as before. All the cameos are poor because they don't really have any time to do anything interesting and instead just play stereotypes (English copper, Italian count etc). Lom is a terrible villain - all he does in each section is turn up and spark off a fight. When he does get more of a chance to show his character he is exactly like Dr Evil - if fact I thought that Lom was a few steps from being a totally spoof villain despite trying to be menacing and sinister.

This lacks the sense of fun that other outings have had. It takes itself too seriously and immediately loses the one quality that made it good. Check out "the spy in the green hat" if you don't know what I mean - now that's an example of a tongue in cheek UNCLE movie with some stars as villains who give good performances.

The third "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." spliced for cinema double feature I've watched in a couple of weeks and perhaps fatigue is setting in. It's just not the same as when I was a boy of 7 or 8 in the 60's avidly gawping at our old black and white TV getting my weekly fix of spy-fun and action.

Notable for being one of the few from the as I call them composites not to include the word "spy", there was as much good as bad about this feature. Amazing to see Joan Crawford in a cameo role and her commendable acceptance of the in-joke when told by her soon to be murderous husband to "not be so melodramatic". The pretty thin narrative then as ever takes the U.N.C.l.E. agents world wide (that is, studio sets of world-wide locations, including London, The Swiss Alps, Tokyo and eventually the Arctic Circle) where we get about 20 minutes of action, confusion, romance and drollery but to be sure the law of diminishing returns applies with dividends until we get the usual against the clock climax not about the world coming to an end but about a water-into-gold process, not quite the same really.

There are other celeb turns in the cast behind The Grand Dame Joan, the best of them, a perky Terry Thomas, for once not playing the cad and ending up enviously with the curvaceous later to be Mrs Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, a camp Telly Savalas as an Italian count and that's Kim Darby (once Anne Frank in George Steven's 1950's epic) as the fresh but hardly cute accoutrement to the boys in their travels.

The direction is very patchy. Herbert Lom's T.H.R.U.S.H. boss only lacks pantomime music with his every so unexpected they're expected entrance, there are some terrible process shots of Robert Vaughn on a motor bike and worse yet a motorbike versus car chase. The gormless band which you couldn't say "belts" out "Come On Down To My Boat" in the London sequence didn't float mine either.

And yet there was one snow-skiing confrontation which seemed to prefigure a superior revision in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (the pupil teaching the master?) and I kind of liked a fade up shot from David McCallum's "Rubber Soul"-type hair as he comes around from unconsciousness yet one more time.

But I'm reaching here. The 8 year old over 40 years ago would have lapped up this escapist fare without quibbles but a movie feature it isn't. I'll watch any other "U.N.C.L.E." films which come on, mainly for my nostalgia and the coolness of the two leads Vaughn and McCallum, but by this stage, the unwelcome influence of campness (derived no doubt from the contemporary success of the likes of the original "Batman" TV series) was making inroads and no amount of modernity or celebrity cameos could bring it back.

As the administrator of the Facebook UNCLE page, and having seen all of S1 and S2 of Man From UNCLE via DVD, I consider myself a fan of the series. But even as a fan, I cannot say this is a good film in any way. Too bad, a number of good actors such as Herbert Lom, Joan Crawford, Kim Darby, Telly Savalas and the smoking hot Jill Ireland appear in this film, a spliced-together 2 part MFU adventure.

Also a shame, seeing as there is a fun opening sequence with a squadron of Wallis WA-116 type autogyros that attack Our Heroes as they drive the Pirhanna UNCLE car...as an autogyro aficionado, this sequence was released two months before the 007 'Little Nellie' autogyro sequence in 'You Only Live Twice.' There should be more autogyros in cinema, but they still don't save this picture.

It's mostly a bunch of short, uninteresting vignettes, and very silly fight scenes featuring a bunch of goons in matching outfits, similar to the goons you'd see on the Batman show, working for Penguin or the Riddler.

The most silly fight takes place in a night club, where the mostly forgotten bubble-gum band 'Every Mother's Son' performs...apparently MGM owned this group and used this film for cross-promotional purposes. Which pretty much sums up this film...just cashing in before the gravy train dried up. Vaughn and McCallum, who usually had a good chemistry together and had high individual appeal, seem to be phoning in their appearances...it might have been my imagination, but I swear it looked as if they were each wondering if their respective agents had been getting calls lately, or whether he should invest in a restaurant.

If you are not familiar with the MFU series, you should know that Seasons 1 & 2 of that show were generally good (and a few excellent) but from Season 3 onward there were serious problems. This movie is from two Season 3 episodes, and Season 3 was the nadir of this series.

The good episodes of MFU have cleverness, fun and some kind of a point to them....but this doesn't, and worse, it's a double-length waste of time, as opposed to just one misfire of an episode.

I DVR'd this last time it was on the TCM cable network, it having been a while since I'd seen an MFU episode. Frankly, I would have been better off going the library or video rental store and watching another episode.

This film is only of interest for die-hard UNCLE fans, or for college students drinking cheap beer to watch on a Saturday afternoon so they can jeer at it. If you've never seen MFU, this is not a good introduction to the series. This is sad, seeing as MFU is almost never shown even on cable TV.

The Karate Killers is geared mostly for those baby boomers who watched the Man from UNCLE. Robert Vaughn and David McCallum were my heroes as a little girl when I watched the Man from UNCLE. Watching the movie now, I find it: nostalgic, a typical 60s spy movie, and a wee bit over dramatic. Of course, more than 40 years of movie watching has passed by. I am glad that the main characters and type of plot did not change and neither did the secret of the success of the Man from UNCLE still remains in the film. However, I miss the sophistication today's spy movies contain. The acting is decent and they interplay well. I am rating this movie against today's spy movies. It is still a decent movie. The movie is basically a matinée or a late night show. Bring popcorn for this one and enjoy a 60s spy movie.