Jack of Diamonds

Typically glossy and bland 1960s international caper which, though harmless enough while it’s on, emerges an unnecessarily long haul because the running-time is padded with scenes in which the likes of Zsa Gabor, Carroll Baker and Lilli Palmer appear as themselves(!), purporting to be famous victims of the titular cat-burglar! The lead is played by a properly dashing George Hamilton; his mentor – the “Ace Of Diamonds” – is a suave Joseph Cotten; on their trail is insurance investigator Wolfgang Preiss – while Maurice Evans and Marie Laforet first prove rivals, then associates, in their schemes (Cotten having been involved, both romantically and ‘professionally’, with the girl’s deceased mother). Though wholly unsurprising (with the various robberies mildly generating the expected suspense), actor-turned-director Taylor’s treatment at least maintains an agreeably light touch throughout – the denouement, then, provides a clever ruse by which our roguish heroes can still go free in the end.

One great line in the film. After Gabor's jewels were stolen the second time the Press showed up at the scene of the crime to interview her. One Reporter asked if she had seen the Cat Burglar. She said: "No, but that he must have seen me". Feigning surprise after looking her body up & down he said: "Why would the burglar have left?". Gabor retorted: "There isn't a straight man left in America"! They all laughed and left. Now given that this film was released in 1967 the expression 'straight' seems ahead of it's time and yet there seems no doubt as to what was implied. Was this some in-joke as surely Gabor had done much 'research' in her personal life. I'm sure the audience laughed with the Reporters yet only a few would have known what the joke really was.

This movie is so limp.

The heists are dull. The female cameos are insipid.

The acting is TV level. And the soundtrack belongs in an elevator.

Watching George Hamilton IV gabbing with lisping (or drunk) Joseph Cotton isn't remotely interesting. Cotton's makeup is so ghastly he looks like a marrionette.

Some of the locations are OK, but whoever director Don Taylor had behind the lens didn't take proper advantage, most of the time.

There's no way this movie would ever have seen the light of day after initial release if not for TCM.

This mildly entertaining German-American production has a Yankee take on the European tradition of suave jewel thieves. Perhaps influenced by the popular Italian comic books, star George Hamilton looks like Diabolik at times (though this movie was released before the film Danger: Diabolik).

Amusing cameos and supporting parts by many familiar faces and ably directed by veteran director/actor Don Taylor. Lots of nice Bavarian locations. Wolfgang Preiss, who played super-criminal Dr. Mabuse in a series of films, represents the law here. Even with some Morricone-ish music, one wishes it was more representative of the wild 60s Euro costumed criminal films like Danger: Diabolik, Kriminal and Mister X. The scene where Hamilton works on a trapeze in his mansion may have inspired the similar Lara Croft bit.

Modern-day Canadian cat burglar, young, handsome and rich, steals precious gems from wealthy women all over the world; he's mentored by a veteran thief, both of whom become begrudging partners with a female cat burglar and her stepfather, who has concocted his own Mission: Impossible--stealing royal blood red diamonds from an impenetrable vault. Disposable caper, written by four screenwriters (Jack DeWitt, co-producer Sandy Howard, Howard Joseph and Robert L. Joseph), has tongue in cheek and brain in neutral. The tinkling background score from Peter Thomas and Bob Harris lends the proceedings some groovy charm, but lead George Hamilton (while agile) fails to lighten the load with his nondescript personality. Star cameos by robbery victims Lilli Palmer, Carroll Baker and Zsa Zsa Gabor (playing themselves) are incidental, though Gabor makes the most of her screen time with a cheeky turn. ** from ****