Kona Coast

Think below average "Hawaiian Eye" episode on location and you pretty much have this awful movie. Compared to it any rando episode of "Magnum P. I." or "Hawaii 5-0" will look like Citizen friggin Kane. The story is so uninteresting that after twenty minutes the question in my mind shifted from "How did Sam's daughter die?" to "Will Dick Boone ever doff that ratty yellow windbreaker?" And speaking of Boone, he has rarely been this lifeless. He seems, with the full cooperation of his buddy, director Lamont Johnson, to have fully embraced the Aloha spirit of "Aint no big deal, brudda". But he is not alone in the Lousy Acting Dept. Joan Blondell supplants Paul Newman in "Mackintosh Man" as the winner of Worst Australian Accent by a Yank award and Chips Rafferty, whose Aussie accent is considerably better because he hails from Broken Hill and not Brooklyn, a la Blondell, decides, in the absence of directorial control from Johnson, to engage in some serious dying burn victim scenery chewing. Hell, even Vera Miles hams it up in her initial meeting with old flame Boone. And that is where I pulled the plug on this bilge. Cannot stand to see a fine actor like Miles, who starred in John Ford's two best films, doing bad work. C minus.

From the tacky opening credits to the kitschy music, to the meandering script, to a supporting cast blending old stalwarts (Joan Blondell, Kent Taylor) and unknowns, to the "guest star" (Steve Inhant, Chips Rafferty) to the "special guest star" (Vera Miles), KONA COAST screams "unsold pilot." Calling from the home of a rich drug dealer (Steve Inhant) A "party girl" loaded on smack Sam "the Man" Moran (Richard Boone) a bigger-than-life fishing boat skipper. Boone begins a search for the "party girl;" whom, of course, is Boone's daughter. With a minimum of information, Boone shows up at Inhant's home and makes not-so-veiled threats. Though dialogue, we learn four days have passed since the girl's disappears (Aha! Station Break), and the police pick up Sam because the girl has "washed up on the beach". Boone "puts the word out" on the street, and gets beaten up by a couple of Inhant's henchmen. Boone's "neighbor" on the pier (Chips Rafferty), gets his lungs badly burned putting out a fire which destroys Boone's boat. Rafferty, who makes no attempt to act as if he is gasping for breath, asks Boone to put him on Rafferty's boat and take him home to die. Rafferty's Aussie accent is thick enough to spread on a cracker. When Boone arives at Kona Coast (Rafferty's home), he meets Rafferty's "sister" (Joan Blondell), who sounds closer to Yonkers than Sydney. Boone has never met Blondell before, but he know's the local tavern owner (Kent Taylor) as though they were old friends! Blondell runs a retreat for reformed alcoholics, and one of her guests just happens to be an "old flame" of Boone (Vera Miles). Boone meets Miles at the tavern rather than the retreat (I imagine, to save the number of shooting locations), and the tavern owner seems to know an awful lot about both Boone and Miles (?) Of course, none of this has anything to do with solving the case. Not a problem; Inhant, for some reason, considers Boone enough of a challenge to come after him (!) exposing himself to the kind of public scrutiny even the most daring drug dealer wouldn't risk. After all, wouldn't Inhant's suppliers feel "uncomfortable" providing "pharmasuticals" to a man this reckless? Further, Inhant's men don't carry any guns, and are pretty stupid to boot. So, of course, Boone prevails, makes a business partnership with Blondell, and revives a noncommittal romance with Miles. As bad as this movie is (And it is REALLY bad), I've wanted a VHS copy for twenty years. The movie is fun, in a mean-spirited way. Boone is a delight to watch; this man laughs and snarls with such gusto, you can't help but like and respect him; even when the script calls for him to do some incredibly stupid things; and even when he is verbally abusive to Miles. Boone is a man you can BELIEVE would take care of the "baddies." Despite the horrible shot mismatches (closeups aren't even properly posed), KONA COAST is also beautifully photographed, and has a more Hawaiian flavor than either HAWAII 5-0 or MAGNUM P.I. The young supporting cast of Hawaiians and Polynesians is attactive, if not particularly talented. And both Kent Taylor and Joan Blondell make the most of their few scenes and cliched characters. Shut off your brain, watch KONA COAST and enjoy.

To the other reviewers here, I would add:

Cons: The dialog is contrived, the acting is poor, and the story is sophomoric. This all adds up to "hokey" as an apt description for this movie that must have escaped as opposed to being released. It's a miracle that Boone was even able to get Blondell and Miles to be in it. They must have needed to pay some bills.

There was one scene in which the goons hired by the bad guy beat him up next to a phone booth, and the police arrive not more than five seconds after he hits the ground! How's that for response by our boys in blue? What this adds up to is a hokey film, so save your time (and money if you thought of buying the DVD).

Pros: The scenery is nice. A lot has changed in the 40+ years since the filming of this movie, but those who have been to Kailua-Kona will recognize some of the views along Alii Drive.

This unsold pilot screams "Bad 1960s TV" from the short-skirted, beehive-haired go-go dancers to the music track, which sounds like a collection of stings pulled out of the library for the NBC Mystery Movies ("Columbo", "MacCloud" and "MacMillan and Wife"). It probably was proposed for the package. Based on these criteria, you shouldn't bother.

However the main cast goes through its paces as if they are doing something real and the Director of Photography, Joseph Lashelle, offers us many a dazzling image shot in gorgeous Technicolor. Is the sky anywhere that brilliant a blue? My advice is to turn off the sound and enjoy the pretty pictures.

Creepy men drug up young Dee Carol during a party with lots of beautiful girls. In a haze, she calls her estranged father, charter boat captain Sam Moran (Richard Boone). A few days later, her dead body washes up on shore. Sam investigates by himself without help from the police. Soon, he's beaten up and his boat is burned.

It's a revenge B-movie filmed in Hawaii. Death Wish would come a few years later. That's what this premise wants to be. Sam needs to start killing these creeps one by one. It needs to go full Death Wish, but it's more a Surface Wound Wish. The investigating is not much, but it still has Hawaii.