The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield

Forget Michael Palin, the world according to Jayne '40-18½-36' Mansfield is my kinda world!

First she treks to Rome, followed by a herd of horny men pinchin' her ass while she's babblin' on about the Colloseum, her nude Playboy pics, gladiators, orgies mixed with Hercules footage!?! Then Cannes gets the bombshell treatment as our bikini Jayne (VA VA VOOOOM!) walks the beaches ("smallest bikinis in the world") and starts twistin' to "Bird's The Word" performed by a cool black R&B combo. She goes on a boattrip and strip nude and confesses:

"I'm basically very shy!"

And on and on this relentless busty 'love crusade' goes. Hookers, midgets, Paris, dragqueens, gays'n'dykes ("I'm just too darn confused!" poor little thing), Mickey Hagitay, strippers, footage from PROMISES, PROMISES and PRIMITIVE LOVE.....and bloody pics of her fatal car crash in 1967!?!

Now, where's my time machine?

After the death of Mansfield in 1967 this weird piece of film was cobbled together from footage shot years before her death. The idea is that its a record of Jaynes world tour. The trouble is that nothing happens. Jayne and or her body double walks around Europe and America as she visits odd spots like a gay night club or a nudist island. We get a breathless Jayne like imitator speaking about her trips and life in a dumb blonde sort of way.

Worse is the fact that there wasn't enough footage with Jayne to make a movie so sequences are used from several of her films, stills from her Playboy spread and other cheese cake shots. Other sequences were filmed and reaction shots of Jayne were inserted. This is fine for awhile but once the film gets to the halfway point I hit the fast forward since things became duller and duller since it became more clear that this was a greed production.

Of course the kicker and the reason that the film remains in the minds of bad cinema lovers is the last ten minutes. A screech of tires and the camera shakes as get to witness the accident photos of Mansfield death drive. Sure they're black and white but they are ghoulish. More ghoulish is the shots of her ex husband Mickey Hargitay and her sons walking around her home forlornly as news reports of the accident are played on the soundtrack. Where the hell did this left turn come from? This is a rather minor mondo film, that is both less and more interesting in that the one death it has is of its star. But outside of that there isn't much to recommend it, except that there are worse things than the first half of this film.

The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

BOMB (out of 4)

If you're looking for a documentary on the life and career of Jayne Mansfield then it's best you stay far away from this "film" which is really nothing more than an exploitation of the actress. What we basically get is a mondo movie that features footage of a vacation Mansfield took to Rome, Italy just months before her death. With a fake narrator pretending to be Mansfield, she talks about all sorts of dumb things but mostly about how she loves Italian men and wishes she could see a Roman orgy. Because there was so little footage of this vacation, we also get clips from some of her later movies edited in and there's footage of other people not even connected to Mansfield in her real life. This is an incredibly stupid, tasteless and downright waste of time that just proves that the actress was treated just as bad after her death as she was in the last few years of her life. We get several shots from her Playboy photos as well as clips from the notorious PROMISES....PROMISES! but this film here makes that stinker look like the work of Orson Welles. The silly thing is that there are three people credited with directing this movie but if any of them had any class they would have requested their names be removed. Again, there's no question that this thing was rushed into production to capitalize on Mansfield's death but the most sickening thing comes in the final ten minutes when we see a fake "crash" and then see death photos of Mansfield who of course died in a car crash. Even more tasteless is that we see her ex-husband Mickey Hargitay showing off the home they shared and then we get introduced to their two sons, both of whom were in the car when their mother died. The first portion of this film, as bad as it is, was apparently just trying to exploit the star and show off its X-rating but what happens at the end is just a disgrace and really vile. This film is just a complete bore that turns into something so tasteless that there's really no point in watching the film.

Not very good mostly silent documentary, with a faked voice pretending to be the late B movie queen,as she takes you around the world to some pretty "wild" events. Serves as a decent document of some stuff you probably never saw from that time period, but definitely not a worthwhile homage to this lovely lady.

ITS CAMPY AND FUN. An easy watch and a fun movie. It's fascinating seeing the cameos of early trans people. Don't get me wrong, the film gets clunky at times, her body doubles are a bit obvious and it's not Jayne Narrating but Carolyn De Fonseca but it's passable as she also dubbed over Jayne in a few of her other movies like Dog Eat Dog. IF YOUR A FAN OF JAYNE PLEASE WATCH. In some scenes like the interview with one of the transgender performers it's clear that it was filmed after Jayne's death and it's a bit awkward in the drag ball scene as it's obvious again that Jayne is not alive at the time of filming. THE END HAD ME CRYING. We go from this fun film to a sad movie and the campy plot juxtaposed with the painful reality of her life honestly summarises her life in a metaphorical way.