A Fine Pair

Esmeralda Marini (Claudia Cardinale) arrives in New York to visit family friend and her father's friend Mike Harmon (Rock Hudson). He hasn't seen her since she was much younger. He is a strict by-the-book Police Captain. She is a flighty rebel and reveals that she's in possession of stolen jewels from the wealthy Fairchilds. Her criminal partner is the infamous thief Jackie Mitchell. Mike promises to help her return the jewels.

There must be a better way to do this. He's a cop. There must be some low life's home where he could claim to have found the jewels. The fact is that neither character would do this that they are proposing. They are both obviously lying and both should obviously know it. The other problem may be cultural. This is an Italian film and the young hot girl is obviously going to sleep with the older man. It doesn't help that he knew her when she was a child. There has to be a convoluted situation where she strip down to her underwear and gets sprayed on. All in all, this rubs me the wrong way and then the story is pretty dumb in the first place.

Despite the two prominent stars in its cast, "A Fine Pair" has never been released on home video, and is seldom broadcast on television. It doesn't take long upon watching it to figure out why it's been banished to obscurity. Though Hudson and Cardinale have shown talent and charm elsewhere, you wouldn't know it with this movie. Cardinale is downright annoying, and Hudson's obvious bored demeanor makes it clear he is wishing he was elsewhere. Needless to say, the scenes where the two are paired up - which make up most of the movie - generate absolutely no chemistry. But the problems with the movie go beyond the stars. The movie has an often cheap feel, from the tacky sets to the wretched dubbing. The biggest problem is that while it's a caper movie, it moves along at a deadly slow pace and generates no excitement or suspense. The only redeeming feature is the musical score by Ennio Morricone, though even fans of his will probably admit that this music is far from his best work.

Italian-made caper-comedy (not released in the US until 1969) stars Rock Hudson as a married New York City police captain who becomes involved with gorgeous jewel thief Claudia Cardinale, the flirtatious daughter of an old friend. Her latest heist will take her to Austria...with the police chief as her unwitting accomplice. Hudson doesn't look any happier here than he did in "Seconds", leaving Cardinale (and her hair!) to pretty much walk away the picture. Stylishly put together in the manner of a '60s cigarette advertisement, the movie is supposed to be romantic and carefree yet it's too slight to hold interest for long. *1/2 from ****

This is a dreadful film. Rock Hudson speaks as if he were dubbed. Cardinale is unbearably kittenish and cutesy-poo as she deploys her three facial expressions and the "plot' is incomprehensible. Not one person acts as if she or he were a normal human being. It is hard not to lose the will to live after about half an hour of this tosh. The scenes of them behaving like idiots in Rome are straight out of the viagra school of advertising and one expects a voice over announcing that you should see a doctor if your boredom lasts for more than four hours. A forgettable score by Enrico Morrioni, an unbelievable script that seems to have been run through an automatic translation machine, two stars at the bottom of their game, direction, such as it is, that uses every cliché from caper films in seemingly random order--what's not to hate?

Once again I'm guessing that Rock Hudson signed on to make this film because of the trip to Vienna and Rome he was getting. Those fringe benefits are important especially when you know this caper film is going to be a Thanksgiving special.

Rock and co-star Claudia Cardinale basically go through the motions with zero chemistry between them in A Fine Pair. Hudson did a pair of films in the Sixties with another Italian co-star Gina Lollobrigida and those two movies had a lot more going for them than this one. Hudson is ostensibly a police captain in New York who gets a visit in New York from the daughter of a colleague in Italy.

Claudia's a rebellious child coming from a law enforcement family she's become a thief. But ostensibly she's had a change of heart and now wants Rock's help to return some swag she robbed over in Vienna.

So Rock drops everything, career, marriage, etc., to go do a reverse caper in Vienna. Of course that's hardly all, but the film moved so slow I doubt you'll wait to find out.

A Fine Pair will never be in anyone's list of top Rock Hudson films.