London Affair

Charles Bronson stars as an American author in his thirties living in England who marries his 16 year old girlfriend Susan George. They move to NYC and suffer through the shocking predicament that people don't understand their relationship and that they don't really get along all that well anyway. A fantastic supporting cast ... Honor Blackman, Jack Hawkins, Trevor Howard, Robert Morley ... are consistently wasted in this really annoying comedy. I usually love George, but she is nails- on-a-chalkboard annoying here.

Susan George as Twinky( what a weird name?) is a convincingly vacuous 16 year old British virgin who seduces a 32 year old American writer of pornography (Charlie Bronson). Must be unusual for Bronson cause he never kills or hits anyone. The plot is simple but the whole effect of mini skirts, long legs and blonde hair on Twinky plus the contrast of short black rugged Bronson as Scotty is funny and watchable. Bronson being loving and patient with the annoyingly bouncy playfulness of a 16 year old kid who is 'good in the sex' department is worth the time.

This is a sensitive upbeat film with a surprise. In many jurisdictions, this film could not be played in the present atmosphere of political correctness. A middle aged writer falls in love with an English schoolgirl - and it actually is love. There is humor throughout to keep it from crashing; more than that, the film creates it's own considerable energy from many points. The surprise is the nature of the inevitable tradgedy that is sure to befall a romance of such spread in ages - but the one you think will be broken most turns out to be the survivor who is most intact. It is a serious comment on the beloved and the imagination. It's a pity if it has not been produced as a video. Bronson is excellently cast and has a chance to show something outside his usual role.

Miniskirt fans, this is for you! It's 1969, and we're watching a precocious Susan George in schoolgirl miniskirts, happily chatting away, burning breakfasts and generally being a teen, while Charles broods, and wanders through this flick, like he doesn't quite know how to handle a chick that's old enough to be his daughter. This is an update on the Lolita theme but has none of the sexual tension of Nabokov. Simply, a great flick if you like to fantasize about hooking up with a babe 20 years younger than you. Unfortunately, the version produced by "Passion Productions" (where did they get THAT name???), is of murky quality; if you find another (even the VHS version has to be better!), buy it. I think a better flick was the one with William Holden. At least he had FUN!

Well, there's Charles Bronson near his prime and heaps of nice female limbs in this film, so there is that going for it, regardless of your sex or preference, I suppose. There are other visual attractions besides the leads, though - some nice settings and camera work.

The problem is that, whilst the basic plot itself is somewhat plausible, it's just not handled to the depth that it could be. Bronson does a passable job as the writer who tries to be Hubby but ends up feeling more like Daddy half the time, but it is not his best effort by far. He really does better in thrillers like "Telefon". Susan George (as well as most of the actresses playing her friends/peers) comes off as being fairly vacuous, and acts more like she's 11 than 16. Perhaps this is meant to help us share some of Bronson's character's discomfort - but then he married her because she guilts him into it, or he guilts himself? Or what? I'm not buying it. Perhaps if there were some genuine deep chemistry and passion between the two, but I don't get that. The entire relationship comes off more like a long, uncomfortable play-date.

Okay, maybe it's supposed to - but then, what's the point?

And whilst as a male with the typical appreciation for the female form I can't say I really object strenuously to this, but hey - she wears a miniskirt in *every* scene, even in NYC in the wintertime? C'mon...

The soundtrack is also fairly hokey, even given when this film was made, and makes it feel even more contrived.

I gave this film a 6 of 10 because it's pleasant enough entertainment for the I've-no-date-tonight circuit, and because I'm a Bronson fan, but no higher because it really never draws in the viewer, and fails to make any lasting statement or impression.