Bigfoot

Classic 70's drive-in rubbish. Rubbish script, rubbish acting, rubbish costume, rubbish cinematography... and then there's Joi Lansing. Joi is what gets this movie a star...not for her acting though. She gets a star for being an absolutely delicious movie babe. They don't make 'em like Joi anymore...

When pilot, Joi Landis (Joi Lansing) has engine trouble, she's forced to parachute into the deep woods. Unbeknownst to Joi, she's landed in BIGFOOT country, and is quickly abducted by the creature.

Simultaneously, a bunch of bikers have arrived, looking for a place to party.

Oh dear!

A bikini-clad biker babe is nabbed by the beast, after she and her boyfriend disturb a yeti burial mound! We soon discover that there's a whole tribe of bigfoots -bigfeet?- and they're looking for love! Can the bikers, along with a local junk dealer named Jasper (John Carradine) rescue the women before the hairy horrors do the unthinkable?

THIS MOVIE CONTAINS: #1- Sex-starved sasquatches! #2- A biker called "Dum Dum"! #3- A lackadaisical bigfoot vs. Bear battle! #4- Ms. Lansing running around in her awesome outfit! #5- A forest ranger played by none other than intergalactic omni-star, Doodles Weaver! #6- Awe-inspiring bigfoot costumes (aka: men dressed as goggle-eyed piles of lint)! Toss in some twangy music, complete with bongo drums, and you know you're watching a divine spectacle!

EXTRA POINTS IF: You can count how many times Ms. Lansing screams her beautiful head off!...

Released in 1970, "Bigfoot" was one of the first quasi-horror films devoted to the legendary beast-man, if not THE first. It relays the story of a couple of girls kidnapped by some bigfoot creatures and the mixed posse of country police & bikers who seek to find them.

Unfortunately, this is Grade C filmmaking all the way. For instance, the opening credits don't appear until almost the 10-minute mark. Most the scenes leading up to this are overlong time-wasters, like Joi Lansing walking up to her small plane and entering. Totally pointless! I guess they had to pad this turkey somehow, which is only 83 minutes long as it is. Also, most of the "acting" is laughable, and I mean that literally.

For me, the film's worthwhile for three reasons only: (1.) The gorgeous Judy Jordan in a bikini, mostly tied up to a tree (also check her out in 1973's underrated Western "The Gatling Gun"); (2.) the cool hippie-era score; and (3.) the nostalgic badness of it all, which is sort of entertaining.

The movie was shot at Big Bear Lake and San Bernardino National Forest.

GRADE: D

One thing about the stories of Bigfoot...they never talk about a Mrs. Bigfoot and all the little Bigfoots. So, the brave makers of this masterpiece(?) decided to not only make the world's first Bigfoot film but answer that burning question about Bigfoot procreation. No...there's no lady Bigfoot...just some hot women the creatures have abducted to turn into their baby mommas!

While the film has plenty of scenes with various Bigfoots walking around in the wilderness, the film STILL manages to be rather dull. Even with the biker gang and a couple sexy ladies....dull. About the only reason to watch it is to laugh...and I only chuckled a few times. I also did enjoy seeing a few down *John Carradine, Ken Maynard and James Craig) and out or nearly famous folks (the Mitchums)...but not enough to merit watching this silly mess of a film.

And finally, if you think about it, the plot of "Bigfoot" is very, very similar to "King Kong"...but bad.

Bigfoot (1970)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Various women are being kidnapped and it turns out Bigfoot and his clan are behind it. Apparently their race is dying off so they're needing women to have more creatures with. Jasper B. Hawks (John Carradine) gets the idea of capturing one for the money while a biker gang goes after the creature to get their women back.

Bigfoot was always my favorite mythical monster when I was a kid and I was always disappointed because there really aren't too many good movies about him. I continue to watch movies on Bigfoot yet they continue to get worse and worse. This film doesn't have the greatest reputation around but it's certainly a real hoot and a rather fun film as long as you don't take it too serious.

I mean, just take a look at the sequence where the three hot ladies are tied up talking about why they have been captured. This here alone shows that the film wasn't supposed to be taken serious and then you throw in a biker gang and you've got pure drive-in madness. There are some really nutty scenes throughout this movie but the greatest thing about it is the fact that they don't keep the monsters off screen. Nope, the monsters are constantly on the screen and there are multiple ones as well as children!

The cast is also a lot of fun as we get Joi Lansing as one of the victims, Chris and John Mitchum and even Ken Maynard has a small role. Then there's Carradine who eats up the picture just like it was a big bowl of spaghetti. He's really a lot of fun here as he adds in the camp as this redneck looking to make a quick buck. His final line delivery, ripping off the KING KONG ending, is pure joy.

As I said, BIGFOOT isn't a masterpiece and it's not even a really good movie but if you enjoy these low-budget monster movies then there's plenty here to enjoy.