Cry Blood, Apache

It was an unexpected sight seeing Robert Tessier with flowing locks. It's usually little to no hair from what I remember seeing. Other than that, not much else had my interest in Jack Starrett's dusty, crude and very plodding revenge western of an Apache warrior hunting down a couple of cowboys who killed his tribe, and the only survivor leading them to a gold mine.

Long, dry stretches of idle chat, in-fighting and horse-riding takes up most the time before the Apache catches up. This story is seen through flashbacks, by one of the cowboys (you know, the only one who had morals), now an elderly man deciding to reminisce about the whole ordeal while travelling the same path. Yeah, it's not worth the reminiscing, and I don't know why he would want to?

This film is not as bad as most people have noted. I'm sure they were turned off by the very downbeat story and low budget. Many scenes were also dubbed which does not help. I found the plot delivered especially in the second half of the film. I liked the way the Apache seeking revenge went about tracking down the gang of killers and wiping them out one by one. The methods he uses to kill them off are certainly inventive. The other big plus in this film is the location shooting in Sequoia National Forest in California and other locations in Arizona(the entire film was shot outdoors). You can almost feel the cold wind blowing and taste the omnipresent dust. Performances are mixed. Jody McCrea(who also produced the film) is OK as the "hero" of the film. His motivations seem ambiguous but this did not bother me that much. Joel McCrae(doing his son a favor by appearing in this film) is not on-screen nearly enough but his facial expressions are so subtle that we understand quickly what he is feeling. Director Jack Starrett delivers one very weird performance as the bible-obsessed killer who lusts for gold constantly muttering to himself and to the others. Don Henley (not sure if this is the Don Henley of the Eagles)is quite good as the leader of the gang. Ruthless but more cunning than you think. The character of Billy is probably the weakest. He is supposed to be a ruthless goon but is played at times as a whimpering baby. The others are OK but nothing special. This is best viewed late at night when nothing else is on. Overall I give it 4 Apaches out of 10.

Even though he only appears in the movie for scant minutes and scarcely says a word, this has to easily qualify as Joel McCrea's worst film. His otherwise notable career is tarnished by his appearance in this dreadful mess (a favor, one has to assume, for his son who produced the disaster.) The story, if one can even call it that, concerns a band of repugnant, annoying, filthy drifters who terrorize and mostly kill off a small family of Indians. They keep one girl alive so that she can show them to a place where gold exists. The audience can tell that Jody McCrea (utterly lacking in any screen charisma) is the "good guy" of the piece because instead of raping, butchering or torturing any of the Indians, he sits on a rock and watches it all. He develops sympathy for the female hostage as the gritty group fights amongst itself on the way to the gold. Two of the actors in the film also directed and assistant directed it. Starrett apparently couldn't say goodbye to all his extended scenes of himself overacting and meandering around meaninglessly. The whole film has a plethora of shots of people walking or riding endlessly. Meanwhile, a lone Indian, who had been away during the slaughter, tracks the group. This tall native has an interesting outfit. He wears a long-sleeved peasant blouse over a very narrow loincloth that shows practically all of his behind. He lurches through the terrain with all the style and grace of say.......a filling station attendant at a Boron gas station in Columbus, Ohio. One hilarious sequence has him careening into a violent river. The film is uncomfortable to watch for various reasons. The opening scenes are sadistic and thoughtlessly cruel. The bulk of it is just amateurish and badly written, shot and directed. The one rather interesting aspect is the choice of revenge that the lone Indian chooses for his enemies. It is only in these various depictions of the payback he gives each of the men that the movie shows any amount of creativity or life. It is also rewarding for the audience since, by the time the Indian catches up to them, these characters have become positively unbearable. Henley, during his final sequence, is so agonizing that one wants to reach through the TV and kill him personally. The music is also abominable in the movie. The whole thing is ludicrous, trashy, cheap, choppy and worst of all boring.

Some movies make you wonder how you got to this place in your life. Sitting there on your couch, the sun shining outside as you watch 80 minutes of empty boredom on your TV. I do say this with the understanding that a lot of people just try to steer clear from the movies that are unknown, boring, or just badly rated. Still, anyone who has watched their fair share of films knows this feeling. I'm going to call it "The Empty" and it is rampant in Cry Blood, Apache.

What seemed to be basically a revenge film, where the Apache woman takes her would be killers on a wild goose chase looking for gold, all the while setting traps and killing them all, actually didn't feature any of that. Cry Blood, Apache is about an old cowboy reminiscing about the one time, he and a few of his ne'er do well friends shot, killed and raped their way through an Apache camp. During this time they stomped on a pot and found gold inside it. They then murdered all the people until one of the women gave in and told them she would lead them to the gold. Our "Hero" then remembers how they wandered a long time while being followed by an Apache warrior, who also had his eyes on the woman they captured. I'd like to give some specifics, but very little happened for most of this film. Long shots of them walking, watering horses, and constant inane voice dubbing of the "religious guy" who literally spoke some sort of BS scripture about God instead of having dialogue. Wait...wait there was a standout moment where two of the outlaws including the religious one, watched the woman clean herself in the water. They actually giggled at the sight of seeing a woman naked, or at least topless. So yeah, that's a scene...

Cry Blood, Apache takes way too long to get going, and never satisfies in any way. The story, characters, and direction just dry up any interest in this film. Leaving it just a dusty old western.

Poor little programmer of a western, tries to ride in the trail of the Eastwood-Leone "Man With No Name" series and fails. There is an intensely 1960s feel the the performances that make the performances awkward and unconvincing. In addition, the prints have a washed-out look.

Even a graceful opening with Joel McCrea playing the lead character in later years -- the lead is played by his son, Jody -- serves only to make the rest of the movie more awkward.