I Never Sang for My Father

Gene Hackman plays a former marine who's wife had died not too long ago for cancer. His parents live close by and he visits every so often. Hackman has never really gotten along with his dad, played by Melvyn Douglas, but gets along better with his mother. His mother dies and his sister, played by Estelle Parsons, comes home and we find out that Douglas had banished her several years earlier and she's never come back since. Hackman and Parsons have to decide what to do with dad, which is either hiring a full time nurse or moving him into a nursing home or letting him move in with one of them. Both Gene Hackman and Melvyn Douglas were nominated for best actor but lost out to George C. Scott for Patton. Several people have called this movie very depressing but i don't think it is, but just like what Roger Ebert said, a good movie is never depressing, only bad movies are.

I saw this movie when it first came out and I remember it vividly from over thirty years later. I recently saw it again, expecting the passage of time to have dimmed my fondness for it somewhat. It was just as wonderful as I remembered it, but I understood things at the age of 39 that I did not at ten. Melvyn Douglas and Gene Hackman deservedly got Oscar nominations for their splendid work here. There is also a marvelous script, also nominated for an Oscar. I expect I will remember the last line until I die. Most Highly Recommended

This '70 drama is very powerful with a towering performance by Melvyn Douglas and an authentic and insightful one by Gene Hackman (right before FRENCH CONNECTION) as his son. Hackman's 2nd nom. after BONNIE AND CLYDE and I wish he'd made more human dramas like this one in the 70's and 80's instead of junk like SUPERMAN, ZANDY'S BRIDE, MARCH OR DIE. Check him out in CISCO PIKE. Estelle Parsons who played Hackman's wife in B&C plays his sister in this and is glad she escaped the clutches of her old man. Fine acting and well-directed.

A 7 out of 10. Best performance = Melvyn Douglas (also nominated for Oscar). Nerves on edge and tragedy of aging beautifully told.

I saw this film as a child on late night TV in the 70's and never really grasped it's truthful portrayal of the classic dysfunctional family. I didn't realize at the time just how dysfunctional my family was and how my father's controlling behavior and self centered personality shaped our family dynamics and still does. The close, loving adult relationship I always wanted with my father never happened because of his overbearing personality and utter disinterest in his children's adult lives. The children of such parents are often made to feel that it's either their fault or at least their responsibility to fix it. I saw the film again today on TCM and it perfectly captured the devastating long term effects from growing up in such a household. There's not a wasted word in the script. Tom doesn't give a wit about Gene. He doesn't even know him or care to. It's all about Tom. Boy, do I know what that feels like. I wished I had written Gene Hackman's dialog down so I could use it during my next frustrating visit with the old man.

This film should be required viewing for any adult son (or daughter) who is guilt-ed on a regular basis and told that everything their parents ever did for them as children has strings attached.

I'm an actor and I hope I get the chance to play Gene Garrison some day...with my father in the audience. Who am I kidding? He still wouldn't get it.

I saw this movie as a very young man with a father who was growing very old. Even then it worried me as it reminded me of my relationship with my own father who had complained that we weren't spending as much time together as in my boyhood. Remembering this film now with three grown sons makes me wonder if they suffer from the same contradictory feelings I had for my father at their ages.

And this is exactly what makes this film great. It essays the human condition in its stark reality.

Quite frankly I wouldn't have seen this film if I didn't know Gene Hackman from his French Connection series. Oh, I knew it would be some kind of very talky drama but just the same I wanted to see how he would do in such a story. He did very well.

If you are curious about the title see my question in the discussion board and the compleat answer by Cassandra.

If you like themes like this see also Death of a Salesman (the version with Frederic March) and Nothing in Common (Tom Hanks).