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Bizarre

Original title: Secrets of Sex
  • 1970
  • R
  • 1h 32m
IMDb RATING
4.5/10
445
YOUR RATING
Bizarre (1970)
Dark ComedySlapstickComedyFantasyHorror

A brainy sex flick with a sense of humor, the film begins with a narrator/mummy who guides us through a number of vignettes promising to show what some of us go through in the pursuit of sex... Read allA brainy sex flick with a sense of humor, the film begins with a narrator/mummy who guides us through a number of vignettes promising to show what some of us go through in the pursuit of sexual pleasure. There's a fabulous ten minute opening, where the half naked go go dancers ha... Read allA brainy sex flick with a sense of humor, the film begins with a narrator/mummy who guides us through a number of vignettes promising to show what some of us go through in the pursuit of sexual pleasure. There's a fabulous ten minute opening, where the half naked go go dancers have vegetables thrown at them. One of the tales features a female photographer who tortures... Read all

  • Director
    • Antony Balch
  • Writers
    • Martin Locke
    • John Eliot
    • Maureen Owen
  • Stars
    • Richard Schulman
    • Janet Spearman
    • Dorothy Grumbar
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • IMDb RATING
    4.5/10
    445
    YOUR RATING
    • Director
      • Antony Balch
    • Writers
      • Martin Locke
      • John Eliot
      • Maureen Owen
    • Stars
      • Richard Schulman
      • Janet Spearman
      • Dorothy Grumbar
    • 16User reviews
    • 25Critic reviews
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • Photos19

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    Top cast33

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    Richard Schulman
    • The Judge
    Janet Spearman
    • The Judge's Wife
    Dorothy Grumbar
    • Photographer
    Anthony Rowlands
    • The Model
    Norma Eden
    • Norma - the Photographer's Assistant
    George Herbert
    • The Steward
    Kenneth Benda
    Kenneth Benda
    • Sacha Seremona
    Yvonne Quenet
    • Mary-Clare
    Reid Anderson
    • Dr. Rilke
    Sylvia Delamere
    • The Nurse
    Cathy Howard
    • The Cat Burglar
    Mike Britton
    • The Burgled Man
    • (as Mike Briton)
    Maria Frost
    • Lindy Leigh
    Peter Carlisle
    • Col. X
    Stephen Preston
    Stephen Preston
    • Philpott
    • (as Steve Preston)
    Graham Burrows
    • The Military Attaché
    Mike Patten
    • Flicker Flashback Boy
    Raymond George
    • Flicker Flashback Boy
    • Director
      • Antony Balch
    • Writers
      • Martin Locke
      • John Eliot
      • Maureen Owen
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    User reviews16

    4.5445
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    Featured reviews

    6BandSAboutMovies

    It lives up to the title.

    What happens when you combine British portmanteau films, William S. Burroughs cut-up techniques, 1970's philosophy, British men's magazines like Mayfair and throw in a mummy? You get a sheer burst of pure insanity like Bizarre.

    Also known as Secrets of Sex, the film starts with the story of a king who found his wife's lover and trapped him in a chest. This theme of trapping lovers carries on throughout the film.

    But never mind all that. Let's meet our narrator — a mummy voiced by Valentine Dyall (The Haunting, Bedazzled and the voice of Count Karnstein in Lust for a Vampire). He's here to tell us all about the battle of the sexes. Just listen to his words, as half-naked women and men fill the screen, one at a time: "Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine the consequences."

    We're then on the front row of this battle, with women in underwear facing off with me grasping machine guns. The women have vegetables thrown at them as the men advance. One of the women, a blonde, stares down the men, who fall to her beauty before she removes a straight razor from between her legs.

    Alright — let me be perfectly honest. Your ability to enjoy this film totally depends on the amount of drugs in your system, how late you're watching it and your tolerance for 1970's experimental filmmaking. If you're been reading this site for any length of time, you know that this movie was pretty much made for me and sent forward 47 years into the future.
    4ThrownMuse

    Bizarre is correct!

    A mummy narrates vignettes about men, women, and the sex between them. Huh? At the beginning, the mummy randomly asks the viewer, "Imagine having sex with this girl. Imagine having sex with this boy" about 37 times, while flashing pictures of half naked mod youths. Later, said mods boys pelt mod girls with...vegetables? If you ignore (or fast forward) through the mummy's rambling, the shorts aren't bad in their own right. I found a few of them rather funny. My personal favorite is one where the sexually-confused man tries to convince a girl to have sex with him while his pet lizard sits on the bed. This is one, well, bizarre movie.
    lazarillo

    Occasionally amusing and arousing, frequently horrifying, but mostly just perplexing

    This DVD is worth having for the two short films included on it that director Anthony Balch did with William Burroughs. As for the feature, well. . ."Bizarre" is yet another British anthology, but definitely one of the strangest ones you're ever likely to see. It's narrated by a mummy (the Egyptian kind, not the English). The common theme in vignettes the mummy introduces is supposedly the battle between the sexes. (Why the mummy is supposed to be an authority on this subject frankly eluded me). The vignettes do manage to combine horror, sex, and comedy pretty well. The first two include some straight-on female-on-male sexual cruelty and some female-on-male medical/science fiction-related cruelty. Despite a healthy dose of black humor, they are both pretty disturbing. Then there is strange, very British skit (set during the WWII air raids for some reason) where a man catches a sexy female burglar in his house, so he showers with her, rolls around on his bed with her while shoving the phone down the back of her panties(kind of anticipating the strange fetishes of Jesus Franco films), before finally doing to her what any red-blooded Englishman would do to a sexy female burglar in a silly British sex comedy. Of course, she eventually gets the upper hand.

    In the last two vignettes it is the males who prevail. One of them called "Lindy Leigh" is a comical spy parody apparently based on a comic strip in Mayfair magazine (the British version of Playboy). The title character, Lindy Leigh, is a female spy who is so stupid that she makes Playboy's "Little Annie Fannie" look like James Bond. She crawls around in her panties a lot and ends up locked in a safe with a bunch of other topless bimbos. The last vignette completely beggars description, so I'm not even going to try. Then the movie ends back where it started with dancing, some tame sexual groping, and a lot of naked people handling automatic weapons and, very literally, rolling around in the hay (by the way, I don't know Balch's personal sexual orientation, but I think this movie would probably appeal to bisexuals a lot as the men are just as naked and often almost as attractive as the women). During the scant running time of this movie I was occasionally aroused, even more occasionally amused, pretty frequently horrified, but mostly just perplexed. Really though this thing has to be experienced first-hand to be believed.
    EyeAskance

    Outrageous, sexy absurdism.

    An ancient mummy voiced by Valentine Dyall hosts a succession of wacky vignettes which explore the theoretical battle of the sexes. Uncommonly eccentric and retro-hip sexploitation features an attractive cast, and devotes every second of its duration to kinky, campy, unchained absurdity. The expounded stories run a gamut of erotic situational weirdness, ranging in tone from gruesome and unsettling to giddily whimsical.

    This is a distinctly British cult item, and a unique concoction from Antony Balch(one of the more unduly ignored outsider personalities of sixties underground cinema). He is, perhaps, better known for his short film collaborations with iconic writer/poet William S. Burroughs.

    Though it clearly has limited appeal, it's worth investigating...I personally found it highly enjoyable and refreshingly original nonsense.

    5.5/10
    7suspiria10

    S10 Reviews: Bizarre (1970)

    The eternal sexual struggle of men and women told in several vignettes, anthology style. That doesn't sound too "Bizarre" as the name suggests but keep in mind it's narrated by a mummy. The mummy helps tell the oldest tale of the sex struggle through the ages and spins tales with interesting twists and angles. Tres Bizarre, no? This anthology is a bit light on horror but the film is still quite interesting. The film is a lot smarter than one would think at first glance possibly due to a smartly written or acting that is actually well above average. "Bizarre" will titillate and tickle your funny bone and maybe even make you think a bit too.

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    Related interests

    Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Sian Clifford in Fleabag (2016)
    Dark Comedy
    Leslie Nielsen in The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)
    Slapstick
    Will Ferrell in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
    Comedy
    Elijah Wood in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
    Fantasy
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    Horror

    Storyline

    Edit

    Did you know

    Edit
    • Trivia
      Nine minutes were cut from the British theatrical version when this film was first released.
    • Goofs
      In the lizard segment the animal is called a pangolin. A pangolin is a species of mammal, not a reptile. The animal in the segment is a monitor lizard. In the interview included on the Synapse DVD, actor Elliott Stein states that the original intention had been to use a pangolin but it would have been too big. Nevertheless the name was kept as in the original script.
    • Quotes

      The Mummy: Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine the consequences.

    • Alternate versions
      A lifelong enemy of censorship Antony Balch was even less endeared to them when the British censors removed around 9 minutes from his first feature Secrets of Sex. It was shown in America initially intact as Bizarre (approx 90 minutes) then in a cut down R rated version called Tales of the Bizarre (approx 72 minutes).
    • Connections
      Featured in Naked Came the Stranger (1975)

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    FAQ15

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    Details

    Edit
    • Release date
      • March 1970 (United Kingdom)
    • Country of origin
      • United Kingdom
    • Language
      • English
    • Also known as
      • Tales of the Bizarre
    • Filming locations
      • Studio Filmcraft, London, England, UK
    • Production companies
      • Balch
      • Noteworthy Films
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Box office

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    • Budget
      • £40,000 (estimated)
    See detailed box office info on IMDbPro

    Tech specs

    Edit
    • Runtime
      • 1h 32m(92 min)
    • Sound mix
      • Mono
    • Aspect ratio
      • 1.66 : 1

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