Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came

I saw this film in 1970 as a sneak preview at the Shores Theater in Miami Shores, Florida. My dad had been an infantry sergeant and was awarded a Silver Star Medal in World War II. He liked the film only because it had some of the actors he liked, Tony Curtis and Brian Keith among others. We both agreed the movie couldn't figure out what it wanted to be, a comedy or a serious film. We assumed it was not only an anti-war film, but an anti everything film. Most of the main characters were far from likeable and it seemed everyone was angry, embittered, sarcastic, anti social and bigoted. Only interesting if you're a big enough fan of the cast, not much else.

It's hard to sink low in Hollywood, but one way is to lead people on that you are making some sort of "profound" anti-war, anti-racism message movie, only to produce a really shallow, laughable at, not with, military comedy. Since they used a then popular antiwar slogan as the title and had a "long haired" soldier walk down the road with a peace sign painted on his duffel bag, it is really insulting that this movie, made during the height of the Vietnam War and protests, DIDN'T EVEN mention the war. OK, they DID, sort of, when Brian Keith told a story about one his men who got shot their in 1956??(Did he transfer from the French Army?) It acted like this was just a peacetime military base with a minor social, public relations problem with their local redneck civilian community. It was set in the South, but the architecture and landscape suggested, guess, Southern California.

It also tried to play up the racial angle, which it did a tad more successfully than the anti-war angle, only to submerge it into the townies versus the garrison plot element. It had a pretty good cast, except for some sloppy brat pack boozy acting by Tony Curtis. Even some of the dialog was good. But when you add the childish mash up scene at the end along with the cheap pseudo messaging in the movie's theme, it is a real dud. It is like an (almost) adult version of McHale's Navy, except McHale is playing one of Captain Binghampton's enforcers; the stock redneck Southern sheriff.

I remember watching this as a child at the theater and then on TV (called "War Games") and have not seen it since the mid 70s and miss it. What appealed to me most was the recreation of the Civil War, where again, the American Yankees are forced into war and have to confront bigoted anti-American Southerners. The movie seems to poke fun at the sore losers of a war fought in the 1860s. You cannot help but cheer as a few Yankees take on a half-witted army of a Southern Sheriff as they plow into town riding an old World War 2 M-7 self-propelled artillery gun to liberate a friend from the jail. Compusive actions, however, must not go without consequences. What a funny movie with a good cast.

"Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came" (1970) is a comedy/drama that details events in remote southern Arizona when militarists at an Army base (Tony Curtis, Brian Keith, Bradford Dillman & Ivan Dixon) conflict with the authorities of the nearby town (e.g. Earnest Borgnine) eventually leading to all hell breaking loose when a couple of disenchanted soldiers steal a tank.

This is a dialogue-driven dramedy stuffed with understated witticisms hidden within the verbiage; so I suggest using the subtitles to catch 'em all. The highlight is the great cast, but curvy cutie Suzanne Pleshette isn't used enough. An additional attraction is that this is a great way to go back in time and observe American society in 1969 (when the film was shot).

The producers were shooting for the tone of the contemporaneous "Kelly's Heroes" transplanted to late 60's America. Unfortunately, the script needed a rewrite to flesh out more entertaining prospects. It's a flat viewing experience as is. Eastwood's "Heartbreak Ridge" took elements of it and made a better flick. Not that "Heartbreak" is great or anything, but it's superior to this.

The film runs 1 hour, 53 minutes and was shot at Fort Huachuca, Arizona, with some scenes done at Warner Brothers Studios, S. Cal. Don Amech and John Fiedler also appear.

GRADE: C

Bought this in a discount store so had low expectations from it. Actually really good - a simple and enjoyable film. Easy to watch and fun. Some of the characters (esp Nace and Ramona) were good to watch - nicely scripted and acted. Apart from that the story is great if taken with a relaxed view.

I recommend it and am glad to have it in the collection. The tank chase scene is comical and almost up there in Smokey and the Bandit or even comic James Bond style. The film is almost in Kelly's Heroes territory but is its own story.