Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came

It's hard to sink low in Hollywood, but one way is to lead people on that you are making some sort of "profound" anti-war, anti-racism message movie, only to produce a really shallow, laughable at, not with, military comedy. Since they used a then popular antiwar slogan as the title and had a "long haired" soldier walk down the road with a peace sign painted on his duffel bag, it is really insulting that this movie, made during the height of the Vietnam War and protests, DIDN'T EVEN mention the war. OK, they DID, sort of, when Brian Keith told a story about one his men who got shot their in 1956??(Did he transfer from the French Army?) It acted like this was just a peacetime military base with a minor social, public relations problem with their local redneck civilian community. It was set in the South, but the architecture and landscape suggested, guess, Southern California.

It also tried to play up the racial angle, which it did a tad more successfully than the anti-war angle, only to submerge it into the townies versus the garrison plot element. It had a pretty good cast, except for some sloppy brat pack boozy acting by Tony Curtis. Even some of the dialog was good. But when you add the childish mash up scene at the end along with the cheap pseudo messaging in the movie's theme, it is a real dud. It is like an (almost) adult version of McHale's Navy, except McHale is playing one of Captain Binghampton's enforcers; the stock redneck Southern sheriff.

This comedy could easily have slipped into a Kelly's Heroes-style parody of the US military, and it's climactic chase scene teeters on the edge at times. But there's no discounting the intelligence at work here: the screenplay is unusually well written, making subtle points about the Vietnam War, racism, and sexism without alienating the audience with dogma. There are especially fine performances by Brian Keith and Ivan Dixon here, a restrained turn from Tony Curtis, and a reminder of the untapped talents of Suzanne Pleshette. A pleasant surprise.

For some reason, the town next to an Army base REALLY hates the military and they are mighty unfriendly. Now, you might think it's because the soldiers are ill-behaved jerks, which is occasionally the case, but the core of the problem seems to be that the sheriff and local government just hate the guys...and you can't help but think that sooner or later this is all going to come to a head After all, again and again, the sheriff keeps rousting the soldiers and a few of them (Tony Curtis) are hot-heads and likely to take the bait. But what two sergeants end up doing...well, that certainly IS memorable...and reminiscent of the James Garner film, "Tank".

I think this film is okay....just okay. Had they emphasized comedy or drama exclusively, I think it would have worked better.

Most of this movie was shot at Fort Huachuca, AZ and Tuscon. I was in the parade scene. It took almost 4 hours to film. When the movie was released, the parade (itself) was cut to 20 seconds of film time. Tony Curtis was wasted on this film. It reminded me of his role in the movie "Operation Petticoat". If this movie came today, it would swiftly be sent to a streaming channel.

I remember watching this as a child at the theater and then on TV (called "War Games") and have not seen it since the mid 70s and miss it. What appealed to me most was the recreation of the Civil War, where again, the American Yankees are forced into war and have to confront bigoted anti-American Southerners. The movie seems to poke fun at the sore losers of a war fought in the 1860s. You cannot help but cheer as a few Yankees take on a half-witted army of a Southern Sheriff as they plow into town riding an old World War 2 M-7 self-propelled artillery gun to liberate a friend from the jail. Compusive actions, however, must not go without consequences. What a funny movie with a good cast.