Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came

I remember watching this as a child at the theater and then on TV (called "War Games") and have not seen it since the mid 70s and miss it. What appealed to me most was the recreation of the Civil War, where again, the American Yankees are forced into war and have to confront bigoted anti-American Southerners. The movie seems to poke fun at the sore losers of a war fought in the 1860s. You cannot help but cheer as a few Yankees take on a half-witted army of a Southern Sheriff as they plow into town riding an old World War 2 M-7 self-propelled artillery gun to liberate a friend from the jail. Compusive actions, however, must not go without consequences. What a funny movie with a good cast.

Over the years, Hollywood has made some very good comedies about the military or set in military service. But, this is not one of them. It has to be near the bottom of the heap. What there is of a plot seems to be a few days in the lives of three career GI buddies, who are together again in a stateside base around 1970. That's when the movie was made, and when the U.S. was in the height of the war in Vietnam. Other reviewers have noted the absence of any awareness of a war going on among the characters of this film. One of the three leads in this film, Sergeant Shannon Gambroni, is a major foul-up. None of the roles are very good, so Tony Curtis can't be blamed too much for his poor portrayal of an unbelievable character. Oh, we had people like Gambroni in the Army, but they never made sergeant – or, if they did, they didn't keep their stripes very long.

This isn't a satire, and it's not a slapstick comedy. There is little more than a few clichés for humorous lines – nothing really witty about the film. The climax is the theft of some kind of a vehicle they call a tank. The feuding between the military and the local sheriff just doesn't come off as genuine, or comic. It reminded me of another film, the 1984 movie 'Tank" that starred James Garner. It wasn't a comedy, but had the best tank chase ever put on film. By the end of that movie, everyone was rooting for Garner and his tank.

So, in scratching "Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came," I can recommend a number of very funny and very good military comedies. Before and during WW II, But Abbott and Lou Costello donned various service uniforms for some laughs. Other actors got in the act, parodying military life. In 1958, Andy Griffith and Nick Adams starred in "No Time for Sergeants," and introduced foul balls who couldn't do anything right. Two Navy comedies were made about service in the backwaters during the war. "Mr. Roberts" in 1955 starred Henry Fonda, James Cagney and Jack Lemmon. Cary Grant and Tony Curtis starred in the 1959 Navy comedy, "Operation Petticoat."

Well into the Cold War, and U.S. involvement in Vietnam, American comedies about the military took on a different look. The slapstick and buffoonery were mostly replaced by satire and military irreverence. This led to some excellent films. "Dr. Strangelove," in 1964 starred Peter Sellers and a stellar cast. "MASH" in 1970 mixed the satire with drama and some crazy antics in a look back on the Korean War (then called a "conflict"). It starred Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould. "Kelly's Heroes" in 1970 had GIs in WW II going after gold in a German bank. The leaders were Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas, Don Rickles and Donald Sutherland. A 1999 film would reprise that theme at the end of the Persian Gulf War. George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg starred in "Three Kings."

In 1981, a hilarious satire reintroduced some antics. "Stripes" had Bill Murray, John Candy and Harold Raimis as Army misfits with brains. "Good Morning, Vietnam" came out in 1987. It was a powerful comedy satire and drama about that war, starring Robin Williams. There are many more military comedies, but these are some of the best that will give movie buffs some excellent entertainment in place of duds like "Suppose They Gave a War."

As a 20 year Military veteran, I was attracted to the intriguing question that is the title of this movie. Deciding whether or not to watch it becomes a no-brainer when you see the list of names that make up the ensemble of the cast: Ernie Borgnine, Ivan Dixon, Don Ameche, Art O'Connell and the great John Fiedler are all solid actors and have appeared in some of the best films in the history of American cinema. (check out their collective credits if you doubt it.)

This film is an underrated one in the canon of films dealing with the U. S. Military. The script, although not perfect, is well written, with subtle and witty commentary on the military hierarchy, prevailing social attitudes, and the precarious relationship between our Vietnam-era military and the civilian community (i.e. "community relations"). No heavy military rigidness here; the flow is free and easy as in 'Catch-22' to provide a frame of reference. Or, as Stephen Sondheim wrote around the same period in "Anyone Can Whistle," the 'laugh at the Kings, or they'll make you cry' approach.

As would be expected, Brian Keith is solid, but surprisingly even Tony Curtis manages to turn in a relatively piped-down performance from his usual fare which, to quote America's best known homemaker Martha Stewart, 'is a good thing.'

It's hard to sink low in Hollywood, but one way is to lead people on that you are making some sort of "profound" anti-war, anti-racism message movie, only to produce a really shallow, laughable at, not with, military comedy. Since they used a then popular antiwar slogan as the title and had a "long haired" soldier walk down the road with a peace sign painted on his duffel bag, it is really insulting that this movie, made during the height of the Vietnam War and protests, DIDN'T EVEN mention the war. OK, they DID, sort of, when Brian Keith told a story about one his men who got shot their in 1956??(Did he transfer from the French Army?) It acted like this was just a peacetime military base with a minor social, public relations problem with their local redneck civilian community. It was set in the South, but the architecture and landscape suggested, guess, Southern California.

It also tried to play up the racial angle, which it did a tad more successfully than the anti-war angle, only to submerge it into the townies versus the garrison plot element. It had a pretty good cast, except for some sloppy brat pack boozy acting by Tony Curtis. Even some of the dialog was good. But when you add the childish mash up scene at the end along with the cheap pseudo messaging in the movie's theme, it is a real dud. It is like an (almost) adult version of McHale's Navy, except McHale is playing one of Captain Binghampton's enforcers; the stock redneck Southern sheriff.

For some reason, the town next to an Army base REALLY hates the military and they are mighty unfriendly. Now, you might think it's because the soldiers are ill-behaved jerks, which is occasionally the case, but the core of the problem seems to be that the sheriff and local government just hate the guys...and you can't help but think that sooner or later this is all going to come to a head After all, again and again, the sheriff keeps rousting the soldiers and a few of them (Tony Curtis) are hot-heads and likely to take the bait. But what two sergeants end up doing...well, that certainly IS memorable...and reminiscent of the James Garner film, "Tank".

I think this film is okay....just okay. Had they emphasized comedy or drama exclusively, I think it would have worked better.