Angels Hard as They Come

What an awful movie ... A bunch of "hip" motorcyclists invade a California ghost town called "Lost Cause". There, they confront a rival gang of bikers and some hippies. The story has no real point to it, nor any theme that I could detect.

There are way too many characters. And none of them are interesting. But they sure are "tough". They drink lots of booze. They smoke. They swear. They fight. They kiss their babes. They kick up a lot of ruckus. They emit dialogue like: "Lay it on me man" ... "I don't want a beer now, man" ... "Let's dig it, man" ... "I hope this works, man" ... "Make it good, man". They all act like rowdy ten-year-olds on a school playground.

And that playground is not the least bit interesting. Lost Cause looks like the back lot of some movie studio. The film's color cinematography is dreadful. Some of the images are either blurred or out of focus. Interior lighting is too dim. You would think that the filmmaker could have at least inserted some good music from that era; alas, no.

Just because it's a biker movie doesn't mean that viewers will tolerate a shabby screenplay, bad acting, or poor quality visuals. There are good biker films out there. "Angels Hard As They Come" is not one of them. At least the ghost town has an appropriate name. It's a good metaphor for this film.

I, John Hand, was the editor of CUSTOM CHOPPER Magazine in 1971 and I had a car and bike painter friend named Bill Carter who was appearing in the movie with his Harley. So I went out to the desert and watched them shoot some scenes. I put a report of this movie in my magazine but I have to admit that I never saw the movie later. Mr Demme the director sent me a letter with some clarifications about the movie and I put the letter in my magazine. Jonathan Demme, the director also told me to keep my eye on Scott Glenn, because he was going to go places. Well, as it turned out, they both went on to make and star in the big blockbuster and award winner SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. Who would have thought?

Also known as Angel Warriors. This is Jonathan Demme in his exploitation days for Roger Corman. Long before his independent movie days with Orion Pictures.

Demme did not direct this. He co-wrote this with Joe Viola, the latter is the director. Viola went on to have a strong track record writing for episodic television shows.

Scott Glenn is Long John. Part of a counterculture drug dealing biker gang. They party with a group of hippies in a old ghost town after hooking up with another biker gang.

When a hippie chick is raped and murdered. Long John and his gang are blamed by the General (Charles Dierkop.) He plans to torture them and then kill them.

They escape which then leads to a showdown with the General. Also find out who did kill the girl.

The movie is really a western with biker gang tropes. You know Long John is a good guy at heart, one of his gang members is black.

The General wears a German pointy helmet, some of his members have names such as Lucifer.

This is not a great movie. It follows the low budget exploitation genre. Violence, women dancing topless. Fight scenes.

Glenn has charisma is an early role. Gary Busey features as a hippy.

Scott Glenn and Roger Corman would later join Demme in the Oscar winning The Silence of the Lambs.

There is not really any story here although the bikes are rather lovely and the girls. It is a shame that there is so little of bikes on the road together and it is more in the ghost town where the hippies are there for the time and then the desert. Certainly the bikers are convincingly sleazy and dirty but they don't really have much to do. The only action is with the girls except for a couple of races that don't go anywhere. So the girls are fine and get to dance and take of their tops, then one gets raped and killed and another tied up threatened with fire but it is really not enough because the guys are either acting or over acting. I'm sure that Jonathan Demme as his first as producer role and writing is okay but I don't thing he was really into Hells Angels although he would go on to have a wonderful time directing.

I mistakenly watched this DVD thinking it would offer something slightly different from the usual Hell's Angels road movies. The fact that the title suffixes "As hard as they come" I was literally expecting a proper blood & guts flick-instead I got a 2nd rate movie length version of a staple A-Team story line! The basic premise is Long John (Scott Glenn) is seen arranging a shady drugs deal out in the desert with his buddies Juicer (Don Carrera) and Monk (James Inglehart). They get tailed by the police but eventually lose them and end up at a petrol station.

Here they meet fellow road warriors "The Dragons" and are invited to a hippy commune that the Dragons have gatecrashed-for a party.

Basically, we discover that the Dragons are a little heavy handed with the hippies, climaxing in the attempted gang rape of one of the hippy chicks that Long John has taken a liking to. Long John intervenes and in the melee the hippy chick gets stabbed.

After a Kangaroo court presided over by the Dragons leader "the General" (Charles Dierkop) the Angels are found guilty and sentenced to "fun & games" (dragged around on the back of the Hogs) and eventually death.

Monk escapes and alerts the rest of the gang and the Hippies finally get some backbone to help the Angels. The movie's finale is of the Angels whupping the Dragons and everyone going their separate ways.

The "violent" scenes are marred by terrible lighting and really bad 70's fisticuffs, the movie is clichéd and doesn't work on any level-it's not even amusing from a nostalgia point of view.

Rent/Buy this movie at your peril!