Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate

This is the perfect vehicle for veteran actresses Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney. Four little old ladies living comfortably in Pasadena, reminiscing about their youth. Their flavor of the month pass time is participating in a computer dating service as a joke. Surely, this would be more amusing than their last adventure, when they decided to fill out military draft forms. Their little game leads to a string of unfortunate events, including the murder of a young prostitute.

What could have been made into a serious formula detective drama was helped by clever and amusing dialog, and the absolutely delightful quartet of aging stars, each in the typical character played so many different times over their long screen and stage careers: Sidney as the chain-smoking busybody, Natwick as the old-maid type always flattered by any attention given to her by men, Loy as the reasonable adult in the room, and Hayes as the lovable old lady with an answer for everything, for which she had just won the Academy Award the year before.

This is definitely entertainment of the 1970s, but a smart script like this one will be appreciated by audiences of all ages for generations to come. And, yes, that's "Dr. Ben Casey" as the unstable chauvinist, playing much against his beloved 1960s TV character. - This Comedy-Drama will bring joy to anybody out there with a flair for Hollywood Nostalgia. They don't write stories like this anymore, and they certainly no longer have the likes of real stars to play the parts.

Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney are four oldsters in a Pasadena bridge club who concoct a fictional girl for a computer dating service; they want to live vicariously through the responses their creation will receive (I guess), but instead they attract the attention of a psychopath (Vince Edwards, who talks to himself in a 'creepy' voice-over: "I'll get her some flowers...yeah, chicks dig that!"). Made-for-television mystery with a light touch attempts to balance wry character portraits with standard police detective work, with pallid results. Despite an Emmy nomination for Hayes, the female leads aren't able to create actual characters (it's just not there in the writing). Edwards, paunchy with spectacles and his hair combed down over his forehead, looks like an actor at the end of his rope. Hayes and Natwick went on to become "The Snoop Sisters" for a TV-movie and short-lived series.

Four stalwart actresses from Hollywood's golden era pair a quartet of old ladies with too much time on their hands. have they no grandchildren to spoil?

Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Sylvia Sidney, and Mildred Natwick decide one fine day to create a fictitious character for a computer dating service. They sit by and watch the fun as the local psycho Vince Edwards selects this fictional woman as his dream date. Unfortunately real life call girl Barbara Davis falls into this identity and is killed for her trouble.

I didn't find anything particularly amusing here. These women and their silly games caused a homicide.

Four stalwarts of the silver screen. You've all done better work.

Never having seen this made-for-TV movie at its 1971 release, I assumed with these four talented thespians between the ages of 60 (Sylvia Sidney) and 70 (Helen Hayes), that it was purely a comedy - and that's how it opened.

I particularly got a kick out of Shelby's (Mildred Natwick's) comment about her husband hating computers and saying "they were invented by the Democrats to destroy the Republican Party." Wow, I certainly didn't see THAT remark coming.

However, being privy to Vince Edward's character's "mindspeak" narrative got to be distracting and irritating to the point of muting. His character seemed to be in an entirely different movie from the other four veterans!

Overall, I enjoyed these four Manhattan-drinking pros immensely, especially Hayes and Natwick. Loy was not her usual Nora Charles self but rather serious as Hayes' more practical sister. And Sidney with her hat pin was a hoot. I wonder how many people will remember her in two of her later roles in Beetlejuice and Mars Attacks. It would have been a joy to see the four reunite in more movies. Rest in peace, ladies! God bless!

Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney are in their twilight years, but don't tell them that. They're spry and ready to shake up their monotonous life. At least Helen does. She has taken to the idea of joining one of those computerized dating groups in this 1971 TV movie. Hence the title. That's what they say about the form that is inserted into the database. They have made up an imaginary young lady, Rebecca Meade, and her fictional statistics to have a little fun and to while away the hours. What they didn't count on was a disturbed prospect, played too well by Vince Edwards. Myrna Loy provides the voice of reason at all stages of this outlandish enterprise, and Sylvia Sidney is her usual sweet yet quirky self. But perhaps the best scene stealers of the film are Helen Hayes, who is thriving on the excitement and Mildred Natwick who is given some of the best lines and whose character must have been quite a tease in her day. When Vince makes an advance on "Rebecca," they rebuff him, which only gives him the impetus to go off the deep end. This was a very entertaining, short and surprisingly well written film. The law is played by John Beradino, of "General Hospital" fame, and you can tell that Sylvia really takes a liking to him in their few scenes together. For a good time with some good actresses, "Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate" is the place to be. They keep things happening.