Madame Sin

Robert Wagner does a Eurospy.

Wikipedia says that "Wagner's friend and agent Albert Broccoli suggested that he audition to play James Bond, but he decided it was not right for him." (Yeah right!)

And

"The following year, he produced and cast himself opposite Bette Davis in the made-for-TV film Madame Sin, which was theatrically released overseas as a feature film."

Robert played a jewel thief who becomes a reluctant secret agent in "It Takes A Thief" on the television, as well as another jewel thief alongside David Niven in "The Pink Panther" on the big screen, and would later play a high class con-man in "The Switch" (and much, much later, he would play #2 in the Austin Powers spoof series), so it's the type of smooth operator role that suits him well.

Bette Davis plays a female "Dr No" (half Chinese and no more convincing than Joseph Wiseman in that regard) who runs a SPECTRE like organisation with designs on a British Nuclear submarine. She plans to use brainwashing to gain the co-operation of the subs captain, Gordon Jackson, and kidnaps Catherine Schell in order to coerce Robert into assisting her. She also has a fancy sonic rifle in her arsenal which can disable and kill.

She has oily Denholm Elliott as her second in command and Dudley Sutton brings his distinctive skull like visage to the role of henchman. Pik Sen Lim and Bert Kwouk are also along to add a more authentic Asian flavour.

It's a polished TV level production, but never feels like anything more than that, plus I've never been a fan of 1960s "Manchurian candidate" subgenre of espionage movies. The downbeat ending doesn't sit quite right with me either (the price of having Bette on board?)

However I've always had a big crush on Catherine Schell, so it worth waiting around till the end just to see her in a bikini.

Catherine was fresh from being one of Blofeld's "Angels of Death" in "On Her Majesties Secret Service" with George Lazeny (As Catherina von Schell). Previously she had a small role in "Assignment K", then continued her espionage career in "The Black Windmill" with Michael Caine and "Callan" with Edward Woodward.

On television she was almost ubiquitous, appearing in "The Persuaders" with Roger Moore, "The Return Of The Saint" with Ian Ogilvy and almost any other UK drama series in the 1970s and 80s you can think of.

Bette davis was already 64, and would do "nile" six years after this! She's madam sin, who kidnaps lawrence (wagner, between thief and hart to hart). He's a retired agent, whose help they want in stealing a new model submarine. Step one is to kidnap and brainwash the sub's captain. Lots of cheap and cheesy sound effects, which quickly get tiresome. Some fun co-stars. Denholm elliott, who we all know as coleman, from trading places. And catherine schell, who played some HUGE roles before and after this. Take a moment and check out the parts she played in very well known films and series. It's campy and silly, but good. Kind of a james bond knock off film, with davis as the evil villain. Bette davis plays herself, as she always does, with her stilted speech. Directed by david greene, who had also directed godspell and roots.

My DVD describes Madame Sin as 'a prime example of the camp spy genre'; how misleading! Yes, there are some crazy futuristic inventions used by the baddies to achieve their nefarious goal, but the film as a whole is actually rather sober affair, especially considering the impact of the unexpectedly bleak ending.

Bette Davis plays the titular character, a criminal mastermind who lives on a remote Scottish island from where she conducts her wicked money-making schemes. Robert Wagner is ex-CIA agent Anthony Lawrence, who is abducted by Sin's henchmen and used as a pawn to assist in the stealing of a Polaris submarine, which the villainess intends to sell to revolutionaries.

Rather than a garish, cheezy romp full of outrageous set pieces and witty one-liners from the hero, writer/director David Greene plays much of the film surprisingly straight, even going so far as to add an avant-garde vibe to early scenes, taking the film firmly out of the realm of Matt Helm or James Bond. A bizarre electronic score only adds to the off-beat atmosphere.

Depicted as such, the film sometimes feels frustratingly dreary and uneventful: one longs for an exotic location, a desperate shootout or an exciting car chase to alleviate the tedium that occasionally sets in as Lawrence tries to thwart Sin's plans.

I know very little about Director David Greene, who did mostly TV work and appears to have been no relation of Graham Greene's, the British writer. That much is clear from the campy script that David and Oringer hammered together with some self-deprecating humor, especially in the shape of eyelid-painted Bette Davis as MADAME SIN, the sinister lady who carries out all manner of experiments on the unfortunate souls who get caught in the waves of her sonar-sounding waves that basically turn the brain into jelly, and pliable to her despicable whims.

Of course, the fact that she wants a British Polaris submarine, apparently to make a fortune out of it, is preposterous, Even harder to believe is Robert Wagner as some top spy/agent who keeps getting hit by the sonar, to the point of going deaf, which has laughable consequences as he tries to enlighten the British military on the foul plays by the evil MADAME SIN.

Cinematography is just OK, editing not that great. The best thing about this TV flick is Denholm Eliott as the Madame's evil sidekick, looking prim and proper, constantly adjusting his tie. His initial encounter with Wagner, with two Catholic nuns on hand, provides the film's most memorable segment. The other good bit is the end, with MADAME asking when the lease on Buckingham Palace, or Windsor Castle or whatever that royable abode is, will be up because she wants to take it over.

Also interesting to see Burt Kwouk, of Cato Fong fame in the Pink Panther franchise as Inspector Clouseau's sparring manservant, as the wordless hand-scarred man who remains shadowy until close to the end.

Not bad fun, but having just rewatched it all I remember are the beginning and end. 6/10.

Now who didn't enjoy Bette Davis doing her very own impression of Fu Manchu"? She's so hammy it's good! Sadly, though, it also features Robert Wagner who was never the most compelling of actors to watch. He's an agent for the American government whom she uses her mind-bending ray upon so that he will help her and her scheming henchman "De Vere" (Denholm Elliott) to pinch a billion-dollar Polaris nuclear submarine from it's Scottish loch base. To that end, she uses her guile and expert manipulation techniques to get him to kidnap his pal "Cavendish" (Gordon Jackson) who co-ordinates all the naval activity and whom she hopes to brainwash into diverting this vessel into the clutches of her evil client. The question is, though, might "Lawrence" (Wagner) have enough cerebral mettle to resist her powerful gadgetry and thwart her cunning plan? What I did enjoy about this is the sheer joy of a star who is out to send the whole thing up. She's having fun - and Elliott actually does quite well too as her dastardly cohort. There's some lovely Argyllshire scenery and plenty of toys straight out of the "Doctor Who" end-of-season sale from 1972. Though there are a few interlopers from time to time, it's really just left to the three of them to tell us this daft story and for my money they do it fine. No, you'll never see it up for an award but I did rather savour the conclusion, her aspirations for Windsor Castle and that malevolent grin on her face could strip paint! Aim low and you ought not to be disappointed.