Star Spangled Girl

Neil Simon's Broadway dud, which featured Connie Stevens, Anthony Perkins and Richard Benjamin, has been recast but not rethought for this unbearable screen-translation. The grating text has been preserved as if each verbal volley was actually worth keeping. If this picture were to succeed at all, screenwriters Arnold Margolin and Jim Parker should have thrown out most of the source material and started from scratch. Twangy-voiced swimmer Sandy Duncan, an Olympic hopeful arriving in Los Angeles to teach and to train, gets mixed up with her nutty bungalow neighbors, a writer and an editor for a protest newspaper (the Nitty Gritty...its motto is "A Remedy for a Sick Society"). Duncan ends up working for the fellas, but she can't cook, can't type, and can't take shorthand. She pretends not to know how to dust. The guys (Tony Roberts and manic Todd Susman) pretend to find her adorable. Actually, Duncan has an appealing personality, but the silly voice she uses here (coupled with the dim lines) just about ruins her chances of charming the audience. The picture is over-lit, over-directed, over-acted, and completely underwhelming. * from ****

When I first saw this movie in the theatre, I was alone and feeling down. I walked out feeling much better. Along with a down home America girl played wonderfuly by Sandy Duncan is a Hippie played by tony Roberts. You can see they would not agree on anything. They seem to hate each other and show it with the sharp and witty dialog that goes on during their arguements. In the end they fall in love of course, but getting to that point is fun and witty. The other charachtors in the money are wonderful also. Todd Susman plays Roberts roomate who also creates sharp and funny dialog with Roberts. Some people may find this movie corny, but I loved it. Give it a chamce. They almost never show it on T.V. so you may have to hunt for it.

This rates high on my scale of lousiest movies, only slightly better than "Dudley-do-Right", which probably says it all.

Sandy Duncan wasted her bubbly talent playing Amy Cooper, southern Olympic swimmer, who comes to LA to work and train, and (unfortunately), becomes neighbors with two radical newspaper publishers (Tony Roberts and Todd Susman), whose liberal ideas clash with her traditional conservatism. This could have been a good movie if it had been just Amy and Andy Hobart (Roberts), as it could have turned into one of those love stories, where the couple are real opposites and clash a lot, but then fall in love.

Instead, they had to throw Norman Cornell (Susman) in, when he should have been thrown out! The whole character was ridiculous, like he O. D'd on uppers mixed with acid. He wasn't funny, he wasn't even silly, he was just plain ridiculous, so much so, that he's embarrassing to watch. He gets a case of love at first sight (or in his case, smell) for Amy, apparently addicted to the scent of her hair. He then proceeds to make a nuisance of himself, to the point of harrassment. (Today, he'd be arrested for stalking!) There was nothing funny about any of this, it was just plain annoying!

The rest of the movie fell flat, as the whole basis of what the newspaper stood for, Amy's own traditional standards, and some of the realities of life in the city in the early 70's were downplayed and a lot of nonsense (like a duck running wild in the YWCA) took center stage, instead.

It's hard to believe this was based on a Neil Simon play, unless someone put his name to it, as a (very bad) joke.

SKIP THIS ONE, LIKE I WISH I HAD!

A woman trying out for the Olympics moves into a suburban home next to a couple of extremists lefty nuts who publish a little underground newspaper (back in the day when both parties distrusted government overreach and the media, before one seized a stranglehold on both). One of them (Todd Susman, Officer Shiflett from "Newhart") falls hard for the girl and makes a nuisance of himself. So?

Neil Simon wrote some great plays. He also wrote lots of twaddle (try "The Cheap Detective" or "Murder By Death," which has a great cast with nothing to say).

The Olympian (perky Sandy Duncan) is "conservative." I despise terms like "left" and "right" and "liberal" and "conservative" (or even "radical" since Republicans and their ilk were called "radical" under Presidents Lincoln and Trump). All these terms are historically meaningless. The USSR types who kidnapped Gorbachev were called "conservative" even though "liberals" here want exactly what they wanted: viz., a Communist autocracy.

But they're the terms we have to use because we're too ignorant to have jargon with greater precision in our combative political vocabulary.

As a writer myself (though not of plays) I can only smile at the likes of Simon, who probably never rubbed shoulders with a "conservative" but out of the depths of his ignorance sets up easy targets he smugly knocks down with softballs.

Curiously enough, though, the "conservative" America-loving Duncan is the only sympathetic character in the movie, terrorized as she is by Susman.

Frankly, the publishers of the underground paper aren't too radical. They're just a couple of nice boys too full of themselves. Tony Roberts' "radicalism" is no deeper than apparently wanting to tear things down simply because they're there. Susman doesn't seem to have the gumption or wherewithal to operate without Roberts' tyranny over him. Yet Susman is the only one who earns any genuine smiles.

Frankly, when I go to the movies I don't want political debate, even with soft targets and idiots on both sides. Simon's constant stream of dialogue gets tiresome quickly. Hardly a great movie; but if you love Simon and have to see everything he wrote, go for it.

I watched this movie on DVD after seeing a Living In TV Land on tape that featured Davy Jones knowing that his song,"Girl", would be in this movie after reading the other comments on this film. (Personal note: I saw Jones on stage at the Florida Theatre in Jacksonville, FL , where he performed this song in The Real Live Brady Bunch which enacted the episode that had Marcia trying to get him to her prom.) Based on a Neil Simon play adapted by Arnold Margolin and Jim Parker, Star Spangled Girl comes through fast and furious with the wisecracks that makes us forgive the initial annoyingness of the lead characters played by Sandy Duncan, Tony Roberts, and especially Todd Susman in a role completely different from Officer Shifflet on Newhart. Jerry Paris' direction times everything with a sledgehammer that hits more than misses occasionally slowing down so we can take a breath. If you're a fan of all of the above players as well as composer Charles Fox, what are you waiting for? By all means, seek this one out! By the way, Susman would later be the voice of the Greyhound dog on TV and radio. In case anyone didn't notice, Duncan rides Greyhound buses in the movie.