Blood Orgy of the She-Devils

You can believe Ted Mikels did in fact reserch witchcraft quite a bit before making "Blood Orgy Of The She Devils"; it has a lot of ideas jumbled into a non-plot trying to get Ted a piece of The "Roosemary's Baby" dollar.

Alas, it is all very lame, lacks any unintentional humor, and has none of the bounce of "The Girl In The Gold Boots". Much of Mikel's cast from that klutzy charmer are back, but even the wonderful Leslie McRae gets no chance to display any of the vunerable warmth and charm She had in that film. Hollywood sadly overlooked this stunning beauty who could have been a contender.

The rest is just cheap, absurd Ted, though played at a slower speed. On the DVD he talks a lot about his celebrated "castle"; where most of this was shot.

I think I may be turning into a cinematic masochist. After suffering through two of Ted V. Mikels' abominations--"The Astro-Zombies" (1967), one of the world's worst, and "The Corpse Grinders" (1972), which is marginally better but still decidedly crummy--I had to rent out the Mikels-produced 1977 effort "The Worm Eaters," another incredible stinker. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson, but no, I then had to go out and rent Mikels' 1973 witchcraft epic "Blood Orgy of the She-Devils," and I guess I got what I deserved. In this one, a coven of hotty SoCal witches is led by a high priestess named Mara (Lila Zaborin). What little plot there is to speak of deals with the coven sacrificing the occasional male chump to Satan, some foreign agents who ask Mara to kill a U.N. ambassador with her voodoo powers, a (surprisingly well-done) seance ceremony, and a college professor who battles the high priestess. As usual in a Mikels film, the acting, scripting, lighting, editing, directing and FX are all rock-bottom deplorable, but at least--unlike, say, "The Astro-Zombies"--the story is comprehensible here, outlandish as it may be, and Zaborin intones her lines with great intensity. Some gratuitous scenes of witch torture from what I gather is supposed to be the 1600s only make the picture weirder than it would have been otherwise. Anyway, perhaps Michael Weldon, in my beloved "Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film," puts it best concerning this movie: "From the man responsible for 'Astro-Zombies,' so don't expect quality of any kind." I guess I'm a hopeless case, though, because now I'm searching out Ted V. Mikels' other 1973 masterpiece, "The Doll Squad"...

T.V. Mikels movies often have outlandish plots and titles but the execution almost always lacks excitement. This PG-rated hokum about suburban occultism will have your mind wandering half way into it and fully asleep by the end. So what's good about it? I did like the electronic score and the harem of dancing girls swaying to a native bongo beat in their castle. Whoever played the head witch put some gusto into her performance but overall this movie is a real drag. Even more dull than watching this movie is watching it with Mikels' audio commentary on the DVD. If you've seen the episode of The Incredibly Strange Film Show on Mikels you know that he's a lovable eccentric but he barely says anything on the commentary.

A powerful witch and her acolytes practice black magic and perform human sacrifices. This being a Ted V. Mikel's movie, I knew to not get my hopes up too high, and sure enough, the titular 'blood orgy', which comes at the end of the film, fails to impress: rather than a room full of naked, entwined, blood-drenched Satanists caught in the throes of ecstasy, we get a half-dozen women in fur bikinis doing a bad Pan's People dance routine to a bongo beat. Furthermore, the trippy opening credits accompanied by weird experimental electronic music, which suggest a wild, psychedelic piece of surreal cinema is in store for the viewer, are totally misleading: Mikel's direction is about as vanilla as it gets. It's lame, but at the same time the film possesses a naive schlocky charm that might make it endearing to fans of low-budget z-grade movies. And that's this film in a nutshell: it ain't going to wow the socks off anyone, but it's good for a few giggles if you're in the right mood. The best part of the whole film is definitely the hilarious seance that sees witch Mara (Lila Zaborin) channelling the voices of the dead, including a native American who speaks in clichéd 'Tonto talk': it's heap load of hokey silliness - me findum funny. Mara also provides sporadic laughs with her oft-repeated catchphrase 'As I will, so mote it be!' - you'll be saying it for weeks afterwards! A flashback to medieval times - clearly designed to cash in on the success of films like The Devils and Mark of the Devil - is clumsily handled by Mikels, his scenes of the burning and stoning of young women not nearly as nasty as those that inspired them. A rushed ending in which practitioners of white magic defeat Mara and her followers rounds off the film in unspectacular fashion.

BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS opens with a blood sacrifice, complete with the She Devil Dance Troupe, observed by Victor French lookalike, William Bagdad. Presided over by the wicked high priestess / medium, Mara (Lila Zaborin), much hocus is pocussed.

Mara can contact and become possessed by her "Indian guide" (!), or her Aunt Jessica (!!) at will. She is soon called upon by criminal types to kill off their enemies. Mara is double-crossed, leading to big trouble.

Directed by schlock guru, Ted V. Mikels, what could have been interesting is instead an experiment in tedious absurdity. Mara's hyena-like squawks, squeals, and shrieks during her seances simply must be heard, though some of her emitted sounds might damage eardrums. This is sub-sludge cinema at its putrid, dull best! A true brain mulcher.

Ms. Zaborin is unforgettable in her ludicrous role, even if you try to forget about it...