Invasion of the Blood Farmers

Invasion of the Blood Farmers sure is a great title; shame that this trashy slice of '70s schlock doesn't live up to it. Written by Ed Adlum and Ed Kelleher, who also scripted the equally impressive sounding Shriek of the Mutilated (1974), IOTBF is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds, the wooden performances, clumsy direction (also by Adlum), dreadful editing, and dire script adding up to a rather painful 84 minutes of amateurish drivel.

The premise for the film is that a group of druids (known as the Sangroids) are abducting and killing people in their search for the blood-type that can revive their queen (Cynthia Fleming). Over the course of the movie, several victims are drained of their blood before the druids finally target pretty blonde Jenny Anderson (Tanna Hunter), daughter of scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley); her blood turns out to be just the ticket, and it is up to fiancé Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) to rescue his love from the druids before they can complete their ritual.

There is, admittedly, a little fun to be had from the film's sheer ineptitude: laughable scenes include Jim Carrey's tongue waggling death scene (no, not THAT Jim Carrey), the death of Jenny's dog Buster (the animal turns into a flokati rug as druid Agon kills it), and a rocky start for soon-to-be-dead newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Greenman, hubby Milton opting to take a long shower rather than see to his young wife (Lucy Grant), who waits eagerly on the bed in sexy underwear. But as unintentionally funny as these moments are, they cannot adequately compensate for the lifelessness and shoddiness of everything else.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

I was compelled for quite a long time to watch Invasion of the Blood Farmers, which has been described as the "companion" to Shriek of the Mutilated (one of my favorite schlocky films). The same folks behind that masterpiece created this one. I finally caved in and bought the DVD. From the opening scene, where the victim is stumbling down the road looking like he's doing some strange dance while people in the bar (called the Huddle 2, no less!) make comments about him being loaded, I wasn't disappointed. Very similar to Shriek in many ways, unfortunately, down the to background music, which is by a composer named Bohuslav Martinu, I've learned. Great soundtrack, but this similarity kind of detracted a bit for me. But there are some great moments....and some familiar faces, for those who have seen Shriek! You'll see a lovable, kooky old professor and his protege that discover a blood sample that grows and looks like fizzy cherry soda! A freaky druid later sucks the blood from a dog...which suddenly becomes a white shaggy bathroom rug! Weirdo druids and their queen who rests in a plexiglass coffin! The bottom line, though, for me was that it wasn't quite as compelling as Shriek...the end, for example, was kind of lame and predictable. HOWEVER...if you are one of those who are into this kind of cheese-a-rama horror (which, for me, differs from those who are into slasher movies) you will enjoy.

It has been at least three years since I watched this somewhat piece of crap and to this day I can still not get it out of my head. The title is so intriguing that I find myself putting it into all of the scripts I write. The film it's self pretty much sucks and has no connectedness. It feels as if it has never been edited properly. Here are my thoughts on this film's integrity 1. The lighting is good for a film that is obviosly very cheap 2. The actors all look like hicks and thus gives reality to the piece 3. The most awesome part of this movie is that there is a character by the name of Jim Carry who goes missing and following this throughout the whole film character will repeat where's Jim Carry and it's funnier now since their is a famous actor by that name. This said the movie is pretty crappy aside from that one recurring joke thats not even really a joke. I say avoid unless you like crap like I do!

Which fan of horror and exploitation could honestly say that they don't enjoy goofy Z-grade horror flicks from the 70s with a budget near zero from time to time. "Invasion Of The Blood Farmers" of 1972 is a god-awful film, of course, and fails entirely as a Horror movie. It is an awesome unintentional comedy, however, though the 'unintentional' is doubtable, since it seems as everyone involved in the film, especially director Ed Adlum, was very aware of the fact that they were not exactly filming a masterpiece, and the folks were just having a heck of a time on the set of the "Blood Farmers".

The story is extremely far-fetched, which contributes a lot to the fun-factor. The film is basically about a bunch of hicks, farmers from New York State who also happen to be members of a bizarre druid cult...

This is, of course a quite promising storyline if you're into the really trashy stuff. The performances are almost incomparably awful, which is no surprise regarding the fact that none of the actors were ever involved in another movie. What "Invasion of The Blood Farmers" provides is pure fun. Unfortunately, the movie also has several periods of pure boredom in-between. The awful performances, as well as the film-making that sometimes seems intentionally amateurish, provide good laughs throughout the film. Once again, if you're interested in any form of suspense whatsoever, this film should be avoided! This is strictly reserved for my fellow lovers of hilarious super-cheap cult-trash. In case you like awful cinema every now and then, I recommend to enjoy this zero-budget film and have a great time.