Piranha

Like the above poster, I got burned on the title thinking I was getting the other Piranha... This movie is everything the above poster said and worse...

Poor camera, lousy acting and just plain horrid storyline...

There was very little here that was even worth watching... How this movie even got released is beyond me.

Make sure the movie you buy is the one you want... and not this one.

The movie I bought was labeled "Piranha" and not "Piranha, Piranha!" which is what it actually is... This is the only way they sold this movie at all.

Peace Out.

There seems to be about 30 minutes of movie here and 60 minutes of shaky, hand-held shots of birds, monkeys, guys on an endless motorcycle race. Seriously, the race comes from out of nowhere and takes forever! One guy jumps over a log with a gator beside it. Spine-chilling thrills, there! Hey, let's get some cash together and spend some time in Venezuela! Yay!

Oh yeah, it's about 55 minutes in before anyone even says the word "piranha" and about an hour and ten minutes before you see one "in action".

I, too, got this one for about 5 bucks. I was thinking it was the OTHER Piranha movie. (This one is even so deceptive to be labeled only "Piranha")

Lame. Not even lame enough to be much fun, I'm sad to say.

Desperately seeking diamonds, a band of adventurers discover that life in the wild is not all fun and games. After traveling throughout the land on motorcycles and seeing several scenes of birds, they stop at a local pub to drink heavily and absorb the culture. As they become engulfed into the culture and the land, they gather the aid of a hunter named Caribe that has not only mastered a bike race, but also harbors a darker plan. When they arrive to their destination the sight of diamonds turns to dust as these friends are forced to play prey and predator with an evil that wears a familiar face.

William Gibson directs this poorly acted, scripted, and pause-ridden suspense thriller that is easily lost in the shuffle of modern day cinema. The low budget is very obvious as Gibson riddles the film with overlapping scenes of birds, birds, and more birds to fill time. We are even shown unending scenes of diamond mining and bike racing, leaving nothing to develop characters or story. We are even shorted on the title of this film as there are only two mentions of the flesh eating fish.

Back-stories are underdeveloped leaving us a lack of emotion for the main characters and building an emotionless climax that only gave us hope that the film was over. Nothing was worth saving in this film, unless you enjoy studying birds from different countries (outside of the one that the film takes place). Gibson missed the entire focus of this film and the final result reminds us of a preschooler's first collage where there were tons of images, massive amounts of glue, and no real structure.

Grade: * out of ****

"Two wildlife photographers are traveling through the Amazon River basin on their latest assignment. While trying to capture the wildlife of the area on film, our photographers cross paths with a game hunter, who is stalking the animals for another reason. Looking to eliminate the witnesses to his illegal activities, the hunter decides to…" according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.

Handsome guide Peter Brown (as Jim Pendrake) takes pretty blonde Ahna Capri (as Terry Greene) and her good-looking brother Tom Simcox (as Art Greene) into the Venezuelan jungle, to admire the view, and take wildlife pictures. After they hook up with hunky big-game hunter William Smith (as Caribe), psychological dramatics surface.

A pivotal scene, with Mr. Brown reposing in the "vee" of a tree, and sharing a cigarette with Mr. Simcox, is nicely staged. The circular direction reappears in the later "fight" between Brown and Mr. Smith; and, it is effective. Simcox' early sex romp adds nothing to the story; it could have been cut, to take advantage of what seems like flirting between the Brown and Simcox characters. An attraction between Brown and Ms. Capri could have been played up, also.

The music, including Jim Stein's "Love All Things That Love the Sun", is fine; but the film needs to be re-tracked, to cut out animals which do not appear on screen. And, there is far too much superfluous footage on display. "Piranha" is a case where less would have been more.

Brother (Simcox) and sister (Capri) are a pair of photographers visiting Venezuela to shoot the Amazon. With Peter Brown joining them as guide at the airport, they set out by motorcycle for the Amazon, stopping at a seedy bar along the way where they meet Caribe, a local hunter of notoriety (Smith). Mesmerised by his charisma, they agree to hook-up and venture deep into diamond mining territory where relations become strained and Caribe's sinister ulterior motive is revealed.

Almost sounds entertaining. Note to self - it isn't. Yes, like possibly everyone else who's seen this movie, I thought it was something it wasn't (i.e. a film about piranha). The DVD box cover however did imply that it was reminiscent of "The Most Deadly Game" where the hunter hunts his human prey after giving them a head start. Also not true. What is true is that this is a C-grade faunalogue in which Capri, still traumatised by a dark family secret, tries in vain to persuade Smith he should subscribe to the RSPCA. Smith's response is ultimately what you'd expect from his character - brutal and sadistic.

An aimless motorcycle race, a Venezuelan booty-call and a lesson in diamond mining punctuate what is merely an outline of a narrative concept - both thin on plot and light on quality. Smith is okay in his typical brawny style, Brown is wooden and in case you're still wondering, yes, there is a piranha scene contained in this film, although doubtful it satisfies the content requirements to live up to its dubious title. Meat pies are required to contain a minimum quantity of actual meat to qualify as a meat pie; what we have here is suitable only for vegetarians.