The Thing with Two Heads

A vehemently racist surgeon- dying from an inoperable heart condition- hires a black doctor as his predecessor...not knowing he was black.

When he finds out, he tries to fire the doctor, but the doctor insists on fulfilling his contractual obligations.

The dying surgeon wants to prolong his life, by transplanting his head, onto someone else's body- so that his genius can live on.

The plan is to get someone from death row to agree to the procedure instead of being executed.

And, in some sort of case of divine irony, the only volunteer is a black inmate- on death row for a crime he claims he did not commit.

His time is about up...and he wants to use the extra time to prove his innocence.

Now, you have a racist white guy's head on a black dude's body...with the plan being to, eventually, cut the black dude's head off, so that the white guy can have his body.

The white doctors don't feel qualified to do the job, so they turn to the black doctor for help with the final procedure (ie getting a black dude to cut a black dude's head off a black dude's body so a racist white guy can have it...).

But before they have a chance to, the black dude (who still has the most control over his body) escapes- taking the black doctor hostage in the process.

Now they are on the lam...with both the black dude and racist white guy's head trying to convince the doctor to amputate the other.

As you can tell, this is the blaxploitation version of The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant from the year before. They would later be released together on DVD.

The animatronic head used in the transplant scene is sweet! But all the rest of the special effects are pretty bad. Particularly in the last bit when the white actor takes control of the body and is driving/walking around.

Before that, there's a humorously long dirtbike vs cop cars chase scene in which they crash 14 cop cars (though it seems like a lot more).

And the ending all goes down very abruptly.

It would have been nice if they had wrapped up the whole he was innocent angle. But it still has a feel good ending. And properly so, because Big Jack (the black dude) and his girlfriend are about the most lovable characters ever.

It's not extremely racist either, worst he gets called is a black bastard, alongside some bad taste jokes that come off in context. But it get's the idea across pretty clearly in an almost light-hearted way.

But you are happy to see him get f*cked over in the end.

A fun little film of the it's so bad it's good kind.

5.5 out of 10.

Rosey Grier and Ray Milland are the most dynamic pairing in cinematic history. I used to think it couldn't get much better than Hepburn and Tracy but I was wrong. When I was enrolled in an anger management class, one of our exercises was to watch this film and then team up in groups of four to reflect on it and make macaroni drawings. I painted my macaroni red and glued it into a heart with "Love Thy Neighbor" etched underneath it in black crayon. My parole officer was so proud. Racism never pays and neither does beating your ex-wife over the head with a steel pipe. My favorite scene is the helicopter chase. It is in no way hokey or prolonged. TWO HEADS is the second greatest movie of the 1970s (I would say "the" greatest, but that title belongs to MITCHELL.)

Every time this film shows up on cable, I just watch it in wonder. If they thought they were making a parody, they didn't succeed; and they couldn't have been serious, could they?

Weak script, bad effects, boring chase scenes. Couldn't be worse...

Yet, shockingly, I watch it every time in total amazement. I sometimes do an exercise by putting myself in Ray Milland's place in an attempt to practice empathy.

It is the best worst movie I ever saw. I love it every time. Help me, please help me.

Snowed in on an early December 2003 Sunday. Caught this one by accident on cable and couldn't stop watching. What a delightfully cheesy flick. The long chase scene was a howl. As the chase unfolded, you could tell most of the cars weren't even in running condition so they just pushed them off some steep hill to get them to roll and crash. The same car gets wrecked about 6 times again and again. The one liners are a riot. The acting, script and plot is too funny to even consider it legit. I'm surprised this didn't make the Rolling Stone 50 top cult film list. The music and score has that 70's wha-wha, bowchickabownow sound, right up until the end that is, when it suddenly turns Gospel, with Rosy, his old lady and the doctor driving off into the night singing "Oh Happy Days". What a wacky gem from 72! I recommend it if you're snowed in and you've got 90 mins. to kill. Enjoy!

"The Thing with Two Heads" is a masterpiece of 1970's explotiation. Everything is here: a no-talent Football star actor (Rosey Grier), Pre-"Smokey and the Bandit" car chases, motorcycles, blaxploitation cliches galore, cheap monsters, no budget, beyond-bad dialogue, a director who thought he was moving up and out of the porno industry, and, of course, the great Ray Milland, star of the incomparable 1970's classic "Frogs". Classic scenes: Convicted convict Grier comes out of anesthesia and expresses suprise and dismay at finding Ray Milland's head attached to his body. Grier: "What did you guys do to me?" Milland, sounding petulent: "We transplanted my head onto your body--now shut up!"

Grier and Milland (the two heads on Rosey's body, remember) show up at Grier's girlfriend's apartment in search of refuge from the cops: Grier: (noticing his gal's shock at seeing his 2-headed condition) "Don't worry baby, I won't hurt you." Girlfriend (looking unsure): "You get into more s***."

The whole film is like this. HIGH-larious. No one could do this on purpose, and that's what makes this 1970's classic such a fantastic find.