Mean Frank and Crazy Tony

One of the few good things (maybe) to come out of Quentin Tarantino's recent ill-fated attempt to bring a multi-million dollar 70's "grindhouse" flick to suburban multiplexes is a renewed interest in actual 70's grindhouse movies. I don't know if this movie ever actually played grindhouses (it's a little tame actually), but like a lot of movies on the recent "The Grindhouse Experience" DVD compilation it's just as bad and in the same crappy condition as many movies that did. This is an Italian crime thriller featuring two very familiar figures from 70's Italian exploitation films--no, I'm not talking about an aging Lee Van Cleef or still-unknown (and-never-really-to-be) Tony LoBianco, I'm talking about Edwige Fenech's left breast and Edwige Fenech's right breast.

Fenech herself is wasted (as woman usually were in these films) in a story about a young, ambitious mobster (LoBianco) who gets himself arrested so he can meet his idol, a powerful godfather (Van Cleef), but gets a lot more than he bargained for, becoming mixed up in a prison break and raging gang war. Some of these Italian crime thrillers are pretty good actually, but it's hard to know how seriously to take some others because they are often horribly dubbed by English-speakers who were obviously taking their job pretty lightly. This is a gritty urban 70's action movie, but the idiotic dubbing crew act like their doing an off-Broadway rendition of "Guys and Dolls" (Fenech in particular is saddled with the incongruous voice of a bad Mae West impersonator). This might be a decent movie with subtitles or halfway competent dubbing, but it's hard to tell. As it is I'd recommend it only to those who just can't get enough of Edwige Fenech boobs.

Everyone is familiar with Lee Van Cleef from the spaghetti westerns - Return of Sabata, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - but, he also made spaghetti crime flicks, too.

This one, produced by Dino de Laurentiis and directed by Michele Lupo, also stars Tony Lo Bianco, who is a familiar movie name on both sides of the law.

This was in his younger, thinner years, and he plays a small-time hood that is infatuated with big boss Frankie Diomede (Van Cleef), who pays him no attention until he saves his life.

Neat car chase down the mountains and lots of killer by gun, drill and freezer.

And skintastic display by Edwige Fenech (Hostel II), who has many many skintastic moments to her credit.

Frankie Dio (Lee VanCleef) is a high-ranking mobster who turns himself in to the police or illegal gambling (for reasons that seem unclear to me). Tony (Tony Lo Bianco) is a low-level thug who frequents a pool hall and spends his free time envying Frankie. By being in the right place at the right time, Tony gets arrested with Frankie and is sent to jail... where they form a bond that may not quite be friendship, but it will do for now.

This film came to me under the title of "Frank and Tony", which is disappointing because I see an alternate name is "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony", which would have helped sell the film more effectively. I presume that's an homage to "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" but what do I know? I watched it shortly after another Italian crime film, "Violent Professionals", and I must say the two complement each other very well.

Italians have always lagged behind Americans in their budgets and production values, which is a real shame with this film. It is considered a "grindhouse" film, which unfairly demotes it to a b-movie (or worse). With a cleaner sound and picture, this could have been a Hollywood hit, I suspect. I found the story very interesting, the characters (and actors) better than average and unlike "Violent Professionals" the plot is fairly clear -- not too many secondary characters.

If you like Mafia movies or crime films you should give this one a try. A film about the mob that's actually from Italy (how much more authentic do you want?) is as much as you can ask. Sure, it's not "The Godfather", but it's not supposed to be. This isn't a drama, it's a light comedy, heavy action buddy film... like "Die Hard With a Vengeance" from the point of view of the bad guys. Well, okay, not really.

If nothing else, this film made me want to check out other films from the director and the principle cast. Films besides "Escape From New York" (where VanCleef plays "Hauk") and the usual cult movies. What's more fun than discovering a lost classic?

Although described as a comedy I found few laughs in Mean Frank And Crazy Tony. This continental production boasts a cast of Lee Van Cleef and Tony Lo Bianco and a bunch of players that most Americans will never have heard of.

Van Cleef is a Mafia don on the order of Don Corleone and Lo Bianco is a young kid looking to make his bones in organized crime and tries way too hard to curry favor with Van Cleef. But when he saves his life after another family organizes a hit on him, Van Cleef and Lo Bianco become a team as Van Cleef looks for some payback.

Highlight of the film is a car chase from Milan to Marseilles with the guys making fools of the cops of two nations. Lo Bianco overacts outrageously, Van Cleef is subdued and menacing. When is Lee Van Cleef not menacing.

One these two definitely did for the money.

Most likable and enjoyable film that goes this way and that but with the ultra cool Van Cleef always there to keep our attention and steer us through the sex, the violence and the spills and thrills. Basically a tale of competing mobsters, this begins in very violent mode with liberal misuse of an electric drill and heavy duty fights and torture. Then Tony lo Bianco comes on the scene, an absolute nobody who charms his buffoon like way into the life of van Clef. So then we get elements of a buddy movie before the long and exciting road movie stuff which is splendidly done. Two other elements to help or hinder, however. One Tony who plays his craziness in a more and more slapstick way as the film progresses but he just about gets away with it because of his charm and the sobering influence of his meaner 'partner'. The other element to intrude and how could I have resisted mentioning her for so long is Edwige Fenech. In this case, unfortunately we see little of her. Or more precisely we see all of her but only for a couple of minutes, she is sadly underused but still makes glorious impact in and out of big hat and little clothes. Great fun and the violence at the start is strong.