Mean Frank and Crazy Tony

Frankie Dio (Lee VanCleef) is a high-ranking mobster who turns himself in to the police or illegal gambling (for reasons that seem unclear to me). Tony (Tony Lo Bianco) is a low-level thug who frequents a pool hall and spends his free time envying Frankie. By being in the right place at the right time, Tony gets arrested with Frankie and is sent to jail... where they form a bond that may not quite be friendship, but it will do for now.

This film came to me under the title of "Frank and Tony", which is disappointing because I see an alternate name is "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony", which would have helped sell the film more effectively. I presume that's an homage to "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" but what do I know? I watched it shortly after another Italian crime film, "Violent Professionals", and I must say the two complement each other very well.

Italians have always lagged behind Americans in their budgets and production values, which is a real shame with this film. It is considered a "grindhouse" film, which unfairly demotes it to a b-movie (or worse). With a cleaner sound and picture, this could have been a Hollywood hit, I suspect. I found the story very interesting, the characters (and actors) better than average and unlike "Violent Professionals" the plot is fairly clear -- not too many secondary characters.

If you like Mafia movies or crime films you should give this one a try. A film about the mob that's actually from Italy (how much more authentic do you want?) is as much as you can ask. Sure, it's not "The Godfather", but it's not supposed to be. This isn't a drama, it's a light comedy, heavy action buddy film... like "Die Hard With a Vengeance" from the point of view of the bad guys. Well, okay, not really.

If nothing else, this film made me want to check out other films from the director and the principle cast. Films besides "Escape From New York" (where VanCleef plays "Hauk") and the usual cult movies. What's more fun than discovering a lost classic?

One of the few good things (maybe) to come out of Quentin Tarantino's recent ill-fated attempt to bring a multi-million dollar 70's "grindhouse" flick to suburban multiplexes is a renewed interest in actual 70's grindhouse movies. I don't know if this movie ever actually played grindhouses (it's a little tame actually), but like a lot of movies on the recent "The Grindhouse Experience" DVD compilation it's just as bad and in the same crappy condition as many movies that did. This is an Italian crime thriller featuring two very familiar figures from 70's Italian exploitation films--no, I'm not talking about an aging Lee Van Cleef or still-unknown (and-never-really-to-be) Tony LoBianco, I'm talking about Edwige Fenech's left breast and Edwige Fenech's right breast.

Fenech herself is wasted (as woman usually were in these films) in a story about a young, ambitious mobster (LoBianco) who gets himself arrested so he can meet his idol, a powerful godfather (Van Cleef), but gets a lot more than he bargained for, becoming mixed up in a prison break and raging gang war. Some of these Italian crime thrillers are pretty good actually, but it's hard to know how seriously to take some others because they are often horribly dubbed by English-speakers who were obviously taking their job pretty lightly. This is a gritty urban 70's action movie, but the idiotic dubbing crew act like their doing an off-Broadway rendition of "Guys and Dolls" (Fenech in particular is saddled with the incongruous voice of a bad Mae West impersonator). This might be a decent movie with subtitles or halfway competent dubbing, but it's hard to tell. As it is I'd recommend it only to those who just can't get enough of Edwige Fenech boobs.

Although I'm grateful this obscure gem of 70's Italian exploitation cinema features in the recently released "Grindhouse Experience" box set, and although it's also available on disc under the misleading and stupid alternate title "Escape from Death Row", I honestly think it deserves a proper and luxurious DVD edition, completely in its originally spoken languages with subtitle options (the dubbing is truly horrible), restored picture quality and a truckload of special bonus features! Heck, I don't even need the restored picture quality and bonus features if only we could watch the film in its original language. "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony" is a cheerfully fast-paced mafia/crime flick with a lot of violence, comedy (which, admittedly, doesn't always work), feminine beauty and two witty main characters. Tony Lo Bianco is terrific as the small thug pretending to be the city's biggest Don. When the real crime lord Frankie Dio (Lee Van Cleef) arrives in town, he sees an opportunity to climb up the ladder by offering his services. Frankie initially ignores the little crook, but they do eventually form an unlikely team when Frankie's entire criminal empire turns against him and a new French criminal mastermind even assassinates Frankie's innocent brother. Tony helps Frankie to escape from prison and together they head for Marseille to extract Frankie's revenge. The script of this sadly neglected crime gem funnily alters gritty action & suspense with light-headed bits of comedy, like the grotesque car chase through the narrow French mountain roads for example. The build up towards the typical mafia execution sequences (guided by an excellent Riz Ortolani score) are extremely tense and the actual killings are sadistic and merciless, which is probably why the film is considered to be somewhat of a grindhouse classic. The film lacks a strong female lead, as the lovely and amazingly voluptuous beauty Edwige Fenech sadly just appears in a couple of scenes, and then still in the background. On of the men behind the camera, responsible for the superb cinematography, was no less then Joe D'Amato. Great film, highly recommended to fans of Italian exploitation, and I hope to watch it again soon in its original version.

I was very impressed with this well made Lupo vehicle from 1974. Lee Van Cleef is Frank, a mean, cold, feared and respected crime lord. While Tony Lo Bianco is Tony, a street hustler who has some respect in his neighborhood, other than that not a nada. These two meet under odd circumstances, seeing that Tony's fascination with the Boss is borderline infatuation. Well let's say that Frank does not like Tony and tony adores Frank, until Tony saves Franks life in a mafia hit. I'm not going to keep on rambling, but if you like Italo Crime, Lee Van Cleef or Joe D'Amato (photography). Then you owe it to yourself to see this movie! I give it a very sturdy 8 out of 10

Although described as a comedy I found few laughs in Mean Frank And Crazy Tony. This continental production boasts a cast of Lee Van Cleef and Tony Lo Bianco and a bunch of players that most Americans will never have heard of.

Van Cleef is a Mafia don on the order of Don Corleone and Lo Bianco is a young kid looking to make his bones in organized crime and tries way too hard to curry favor with Van Cleef. But when he saves his life after another family organizes a hit on him, Van Cleef and Lo Bianco become a team as Van Cleef looks for some payback.

Highlight of the film is a car chase from Milan to Marseilles with the guys making fools of the cops of two nations. Lo Bianco overacts outrageously, Van Cleef is subdued and menacing. When is Lee Van Cleef not menacing.

One these two definitely did for the money.