Godmonster of Indian Flats

I have seen every sort of monster: birds, cats, piranhas, crocs, bats, ants, grizzles, sharks; but killer sheep is a new one. I looked forward to seeing a flokati attack humans.

Yes, the acting is baad, the story line is baad, sometimes downright silly, the special effects were criminally baad, and the monster really looks baad. One flighty character (Mariposa) even tries to communicate with the creature with some kind of new age arm waving.

Just because a movie takes place in the West, doesn't make it a western, and just because you have a mutant sheep, you can't call it a horror movie unless there is some actual horror.

GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS is a monster sheep movie, but that's only a portion of this nonsensical mishmash. Some of it plays like a weird western, occurring in modern times. Imagine if Ed Wood and Al Adamson got together, and directed BLAZING SADDLES, and it all comes clear.

Complete with humans "bleating" over sheep footage, mad science, a secret cowboy cult, and a deformed sheep fetus, this movie weaves its tale of sheer idiocy. Duller than glass smeared with sheep-dip, 99% of the "action" has nothing to do with monster sheep.

The title creature -resembling a pulsating ham- is kept in an incubator for most of its limited screen time. By the time it does fully emerge, most sane viewers will have slipped into a death-like state.

Yes! A woman dances with a giant mutant sheep! Yes! It ruins a child's party! Yes! It blows up a gas station! All in the final 10-15 minutes!

In short, someone was at these tourist trap locations, and said, "Hey! Let's come up with a story, so we can run around these local landmarks!". Alas, this isn't the best way to make a movie.

The lone star is for the woolly behemoth's scant appearances, and the movie's apocalyptic, Shakespearean, cowboy denouement at the city dump!...

Apparently unseen since its initial theatrical sweep in the early 70s(presuming it actually received distribution at all), this long-forgotten little coprolite was excavated from some lost-film boneyard during the late 90s, and has since laid claim to its rightful spot on the roll-call of the weirdest movies ever made.

GODMONSTER weaves an ambling configuration concerning a sheep fetus being exposed to a strange chemical vapor. Taken to a lab by scientists, it matures into a bald-headed, lopsided hirsute beast with a parched lolling tongue and a gimp arm. Naturally, the upright-walking miscreation escapes and hobbles over the arid desert terrain, scaring a few kids and wreaking general minor havoc. This course of events gives rise to a climactic stage so heteroclite...SO IMPOSSIBLY RANDOM...that it literally defies description.

All the elemental constituents of this film are surprisingly solid, and performances from the key players are moreless on-the-beam. It even has sharply defined characters and a developed, articulate subplot touching on sensitive sociopolitical issues. In taking note of these niceties, the burning question arises...how in hell could the folks involved with GODMONSTER have justified applying their erudite capacities to such a fly-ball project? Could a concept as utterly 'non-compos-mentis' as this have possibly seemed like a felicitous undertaking at the drawing-board stage? The mind boggles.

We can't lose this film again, or future generations will dismiss the lore as either a collective hallucination or an elaborate hoax. 10/10? 1/10? ...how does one possibly rate something like this?

For the first, say, 85 minutes, I couldn't make heads or tails out of this film. It appears to be a lost episode of the Brady Bunch where they wake up and discover themselves in a lost episode of Gunsmoke where they all wake up and find themselves in a lost episode of Night Gallery. I get why the hookers wear Victorian get-ups, but why does the visiting financier wear a Wild, Wild West outfit while trying to close a business deal? Most realistic dump ever. Coolest movie monster ever. It looks like a huge plushie that got caught in a fan and half skinned. And sheepy got back! Somehow, the last five minutes of this extraordinarily aimless film turned it into an existentialist allegory and it all seemed perfectly sensible. Except maybe the white plastic casket at the dog's funeral and, of course, the pie eating contest.

GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS is a passable grade z movie that's more interesting as a time capsule than a "it's so bad it's good" movie. Some scenes are unintentionally hilarious, like when the sheep monster sneaks up behind the kids who are picnicking, or when the guy from the garage runs away in terror, with the monster tip-toeing "menacingly" towards him. And the ending as to be seen to be believed (did they lose the script?) but the production values are better than most grade z movies and in the end, the movie is not that wretched or trashy enough to be entertaining. Fans of bad movies should check it out but it's more of a rental than something you buy. You should buy the GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS DVD for the second feature on it, called THE GIRL AND THE GEEK (or PASSION IN THE SUN). Now that's an amazingly bad and hilarious movie.