The Neptune Factor

If I didn't know any better, I would say The Neptune Factor is a subtle parody on the "disaster Genre" movies of the 1970s. It is certainly not "Airplane", a zany take on the disaster genre, but rather an understated satire. The Rear screen projection of aquarium fish, only adds to the surreal, hypnotic affect this movie had on me. To quote Kirk Douglas from the Disney classic 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, "Why I've seen scarier fish in my Aunt Fannie's gold fish bowl". Amazing what a little imagination and creativity can do for a parody of a low budget movie.

For a movie about a race against the clock to rescue a group of scientists trapped in an undersea research facility that's been hit by an earthquake, The Neptune Factor is incredibly dull. The problem is that for most of the movie, nothing happens. Ernest Borgnine (who I'll give a little credit as he does his best with this snoozer of a script), Ben Gazzara, and company spend most of the movie on a slow motion tour of the ocean floor looking for their missing colleagues. Garzzara is the worst, showing the same kind of emotion usually reserved for everyday, mundane tasks like doing the laundry or grocery shopping. You'd hardly know from his demeanor that the lives of three people rest in his hands. And when something does finally happen the special effects are so ridiculous looking that the movie losses any credibility it might have had. The "giant" sea creatures the rescuers run into are little more than normal salt water aquarium fish filmed with a zoom lens and a bad looking miniature of the submarine. That's right - The Neptune Factor looks like it was filmed in someone's home aquarium. A giant clown fish - oooooh, how scary! There's nothing much more frightening than the sight of a ludicrously large Nemo.

To say I was disappointed by The Neptune Factor would be a gross understatement. A good cast is put to waste with nothing to do. In the end, I've got to rate this one a 2/10.

Not a bad effort, really, given that the film was made during the age of Cousteau. Underwater filming of deep ocean life had not been accomplished. Now we know what it looks like way down there, so the fish tank 'special effects' really ruin the story. The first sight of a clown fish is like a slap in the face! The film becomes a comedy after that! But really, this is only because science education (as miserable as it may be) has advanced SO MUCH on television. Now we can sit on our sofa and watch animal planet to get a better seminar on deep ocean life than marine biologists of the day received! So, if you're looking for a top-notch special effects masterpiece, the toy sub floating in the Monterey Bay aquarium's fish tanks probably won't cut it. Nevertheless, it's an entertaining few minutes, anyway. I say, watch it and try to forget about reality for a while. Pretend you're TEN!

Wow, an underwater film shot completely on location - at the bottom of the production designers' fishtank! This action-drama basically involves about 80 minutes of the main characters staring out of their mini-sub's windshield/projection screen with awestruck expressions at... grainily blown up shots of common acquarium fish. The "model shots" (a generous naming) actually DO look to have been shot in a common home aquarium, complete with plastic ferns and oversize gravel. The stretch is so great, the disparity so big, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I think in the end I simply gave up and decided to vomit. Not sure how Walter Pidgeon took a wrong turn into this turkey, but it is worth noting that about half the cast of "The Black Hole" is featured here - doubtless in a dry run for their performances in that later classic...

This waterlogged bore is about 100 minutes but feels about 120 minutes too long. A film so dull even the cast can't rouse itself from lethargy. Yvette Mimieux evidently decided her paycheck was only enough to guarantee that she'd show up, because her performance consists of only one half-lost/blank stare throughout. Borgnine, once again in the water (McHale, Poseidon, etc.) can barely rouse himself to his usual level of histrionics. Gazzara tries a southern accent and fails, while Walter Pigeon plods through his role, obviously taking his check to pad his retirement fund (he actually turned in a fine performance the following year in 'Harry in Your Pocket'). This is a Canadian film, thus it's restricted budget-wise, but why bother making a film like this if you haven't got the money for the special effects? We're talking $1.98 here. It looks like the producers bought a little toy submersible and borrowed someone's aquarium and let er rip. Okay, this is pre-Star Wars, effects-wise, but no one could take this seriously even back in 1973. Oh the look of fear and awe on Borgnine's face when he sees a.... giant goldfish! Perhaps the only thing of (minor) interest is whether James Cameron was inspired by this film to create 'The Abyss.' It does have some of the same elements. Of course, unlike 'The Abyss', this film is idiotic (example: Gazzara yelling at Mimieux for putting the sub in danger of exploding from sea pressure, yet the same pressure has no effect on HUMAN BODIES swimming around in EVEN GREATER DEPTHS soon after), and it's dully plotted, acted, directed, written, scored. Well, it IS consistent!