Death Cruise

I saw this when I was twelve. It was the movie that made me understand what a good mystery really was. I had read the entire Happy Hollisters children's mystery series and they were about a family of child sleuths who always got their man. But we the readers were not in a position to solve the mystery along with them. This movie showed me that a good mystery is that which makes the viewer/reader, at the end, say, "OH!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!!!"

Seems to me there have been more than enough movies (or episodes on TV shows) wherein a mystery killer picks off a group of people one by one, and then crosses their faces with a big 'X' on a group-photo where everyone is smiling and happy. The theatrical film "The Last of Sheila" used a group-photo as a red herring, but "Death Cruise" doesn't have time for subtlety. It's a telefilm, short on time and short on budget. A would-be "Ten Little Indians", the cast is littered with has-beens (Richard Long), should-have-beens (Edward Albert), and one fresh face (Kate Jackson, giving off some enchanting, mysterious charisma). It's a cross between "The Love Boat" and "Murder, She Wrote", yet it does predate both and was fairly intriguing for its time. Seen today, it's a tacky hoot, although there is a neat twist at the finish line. As TV-movies go: ** from ****

Three married couples set off on a contest winning cruise. They are: Richard Long and Polly Bergen (as Jerry and Sylvia Carter), Edward Albert and Kate Jackson (as Jimmy and Mary Frances Radney), and Tom Bosley and Celeste Holm (as David and Elizabeth Mason). On ship, they discover why nobody can really remember entering the contest; it's a scam. A mysterious group known as "E&M Productions" has lured the six "winners" on board to kill them. As the travelers meet unfortunate ends, Michael Constantine (as Dr. Burke) assumes the role of investigator. Cesare Danova is the ship's captain. All are delightful.

This is an unexpectedly suspenseful Spelling-Goldberg television production, with good performances and direction (Ralph Senensky). And, it's very well paced. As they are being killed off, the three "happy" couples are revealed to be in significantly troubled marriages; this, and a resemblance to ABC-TV's later "The Love Boat" series, gives the movie a heightened eeriness. Jack B. Sowards' script has a few surprises; and, most of the time, it is challenging to guess which passenger to will die next. Unfortunately, part of an ending explanation does not match a prior character motivation; it's not enough to spoil the movie, however.

This was Richard Long's last role, sadly; the former "Big Valley" star died of a heart attack late in 1974. Also, around this time, beautiful young co-stars Kate Jackson and Edward Albert were a real life couple; although, they were "living in sin" (unmarried). The relatively under-appreciated "TV performer" cast makes "Death Cruise" an enjoyable trip.

****** Death Cruise (10/30/74) Ralph Senensky ~ Richard Long, Kate Jackson, Michael Constantine, Edward Albert

An ocean cruise is set for murder involving several couples, who believe they've won a trip. Unbeknownst to them they've all been lured on the cruise to be murdered by an unknown person.... It is up to Dr. Burke to piece together the clues that connect all these couples together and before more murders occur.

The Love Boat meets And Then There Were None courtesy of Aaron Spelling. Like The Love Boat we have a variety of guests, all couples, who have their problems; jealous gravel-voiced Polly Bergen is married to womaniser Richard Long, a dissatisfied Tom Bosley is married to oblivious Celeste Holm, and the baby-crazy Kate Jackson is married to not-baby-crazy Edward Albert. Doctor-at-large Michael Constantine and captain Cesare Danova fill out the ship's crew.

I sort of guessed who the murderer is, but it's fun getting there. It's light-hearted, but still has some suspense with its air of a calm-before-the storm. Also there's some histrionics from the assortment of characters; It's nicely constructed and ends well with a nice twist.

"Death Cruise" (1974) is one of those nice little mysteries that follows the tradition of "Ten Little Indians" and Agatha Christie. The story follows three couples (one old, one middle age, and one young) who have seemly won a free cruise from the same contest that none of them can remember entering (never an encouraging sign in this type of movie). And sure enough, faster than you can say Sherlock Holmes, they quickly discover that it was all a ruse to get them on board as one by one, they all begin to meet their ends at the hands of a murderer. The one hope that might save them comes in the form of the ship's good doctor, Dr. Burke (Michael Constantine) who takes on the role of the amateur detective very competently. All of the actors play their parts very well, with Tom Bosley and Cheleste Holm as the older couple who are struggling to find their way now that their children are all grown up, Richard Long as a philandering husband and Polly Bergen as his poor wife, along with Edward Albert and Kate Jackson as a young couple just starting out, and Cesare Danova as the ship's captain. All of this, plus an enormous twist ending that Alfred Hitchcock himself might have appreciated, make this a nice pleasant movie to watch, especially if you like to dream of a simpler time, like the 70s. Catch it on you tube sometime. 8 out of 10.