The Bride

I saw this film under the very promising title of The Last House on Massacre Street, which automatically brought to mind gritty grindhouse classics like Last House On The Left, The Last House on Dead End Street, and The Last House on The Beach, and the more recent The Last House in the Woods. Unfortunately, the movie proved to be far from the gruelling shocker I had hoped it would be: instead, I got a film that is 90% psychological and 10% supernatural, but only 50% entertaining, the action suffering from some serious pacing issues, a lack of scares, a dearth of blood and guts, and a twist ending that, while fun, seems more suited to an episode of Tales From The Crypt than a full length movie.

The film opens with a young couple, David and Barbara (Arthur Roberts and Robin Strasser), paying a visit to the house that Barbara built, the building to become their home once they are married. But their future together doesn't go quite as planned when, on their wedding day, Barbara catches her new husband getting it on with his ex-girlfriend Ellen (Iva Jean Saraceni); wigging out, Babs wounds David with some scissors and then drives off in a rage. In the following weeks, David shacks up with Ellen, but the pair are menaced by mysterious phone calls and sinister events.

Director Jean-Marie Pélissié conjures up some reasonable atmosphere, making particularly good use of Barbara's sprawling unfinished house in the film's finalé, but other scenes seriously drag, especially the wedding reception, which goes on and on (coming second only to The Deer Hunter as The Most Boring Wedding Party Scene in the History of Cinema). Some gnarly violence would definitely have helped to shake things up a bit, but all we get is a decapitated chicken and a lame axe attack, making it the least exploitative 'Last House' movie of them all.

I absolutely LOVE those gloriously enticing and typically 70's horror titles starting with words like "The House That…". These juicy titles, usually in combination with a wonderfully creepy movie poster and tagline, often formed the biggest selling arguments for contemporary low-budgeted underground exploitation flicks. Productions like these couldn't always rely on overwhelming special effects or spectacular action sequences, so an extra tantalizing title is more than welcome. "The House That Cried Murder" is a downright fantastic slice of seventies' terror, and I'm actually surprised that it isn't mentioned more often by fellow genre fanatics. The film has a terrific albeit absurd plot, original twists and unexpected surprises, delightfully over-the-top performances and – most of all – a uniquely macabre and ominous atmosphere. The peculiar Barbara is a spoiled rich girl who gets everything she wants simply by shouting out the words: "Daddy, I want that". With daddy's money she designed a strange isolated house in the countryside and now she has her mind set on marrying the hunky David, even though her father doesn't trust him one bit. And right he is, as Barbara catches David smooching with his ex-girlfriend Ellen on their wedding day! So Barbara stabs him in the arm with scissors and hysterically drives off in her blood-spattered wedding dress. Two weeks later, Barbara is still missing but both David and Ellen suffer from vividly terrifying nightmares. David is lured back to Barbara's dream house, where they were supposed to spend their married life together, unaware of the ghastly surprise that awaits him there. "The House That Cried Murder" is a sick and twisted tale of horror with a marvelously gruesome finale. The director exactly knows when to mount the suspense and makes great use of eerie music (although it's more like noise) and set pieces. The titular house forms an eccentric decor as well, as it looks gloomy in its unfinished state. It's a really a shame that too many sequences are so dark you can barely see what is happening. The acting performances are good, especially Robin Strasser as Barbara. She's a totally bonkers and mildly petrifying shrew, but I love her anyways

The 70's were such a great time for horror. Horror films were being churned out due to the glut of drive-ins and grindhouses desperate for content and so many filmmakers were only too happy to supply them with films to show. The Bride a.k.a. The House That Cried Murder is one of the strange films that could have only been made at this time.

Sometimes feeling like a feature length Twilight Zone or Tales From the Crypt episode, The Bride revolves around a man engaged to marry a spoiled rich girl who's caught making out with the ex on the day of the wedding. Needless to say, this drives the titular bride insane and she attacks him with scissors and runs away. Where is she? Perhaps at the strange modern home she just had her father build her in the country? Or is she plotting an elaborate revenge plot on her would-be husband?

The Bride keeps the audience on their toes throughout even though its chills are of the strictly PG variety. By the time you get to the insane finale, all bets are off. The Bride is one that lingers with you for awhile after you've seen it. I highly recommend it.

The Bride- AKA "No Way Out" (British title), "The House That Cried Murder" and "The Last House on Massacre Street" (re-release titles), "Scream," "Wedding/Marriage of the Dead" and "Wedding Night Slaughter" (Euro titles) is a 1974 supernatural/psychological thriller about a young couple who decide to get married. On their wedding day, the Bride walks in to find the Groom cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend.

That's where the fun starts. The hysterical Bride attacks him with a pair of scissors and ends up running off, never to be seen again. But when mysterious phonecalls and vivid nightmares start plaguing the man and his girlfriend, could something sinister be afoot? The film was shot over a three-week period in June 1972, reportedly for less than thirty thousand dollars (which was very low even for that time). The film struggled to find distribution and and sat for almost two years before hitting the grindhouse and drive-in circuit, usually as the B-film in a double feature. (This helps to explain in part why the film had so many titles. It was often paired with other "House" movies of the time like "The House That Vanished" and "The Last House on Dead-end Street.") The film is a poverty row concoction yet makes up for it in stylized cinematography that betrays its meager roots. Unconventional lighting, odd shooting angles and good use of color really help sell this film during its few generally eerie scenes. It goes to show that you could churn out a decent horror film without resorting to schlocky special effects and cheap gorefests.

But other than that, the movie is kind of weak from a story standpoint. I've only ever seen the 71 minute cut and not the 85 minute version, so I don't know what else is lurking in the longer cut. But I can only imagine that the long version trods along at a sllooooowww pace, because the plot is so simple that the story is more than adequately told in the short version.

The canned soundtrack is very poor, even in comparison to other cheap horror films of the era. The "LA LA LA LA" love theme that pops up throughout the movie sounds like it was lifted from one of those softcore Italian "Emmanuelle" pictures from the mid-70's. Every now and then though the soundtrack is used to good effect when it jarringly blares out during some of the more creepy scenes.

The acting ranges from mediocre to downright horrible. Future sitcom and soap opera mainstay Robin Strasser is at times convincing in the title role and at other times takes "hysterical overacting" to a new level.

So in a nutshell, the movie plays out like an overlong "Night Gallery" segment but manages to conjure up some of the atmospheric nuances that Hammer and Amicus Studios were turning out at the time. Sadly the movie has fallen into the public domain and a lousy film-to VHS master seems to be the only thing floating around on the bootleg circuit. As of this writing the movie is available on youtube and on DVD as part of the "Blood Bath 2" 2-disc collection. (I am hesitant to purchase the set because I'm afraid that it's going to be the same transfer I already have, which is not very good.) I'd like to see this cleaned up (and maybe paired with another similar movie) for proper DVD release, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

The Bride (1973)

** (out of 4)

Barbara (Robin Stasser) goes against her rich father's wishes and marries David (Arthur Roberts). She believes their life is going to be perfect until minutes after their wedding she discovers him with his ex-lover Ellen (Iva Jean Saraceni). Most women would just cry and move on but not Barbara as she plans on using every way possible to haunt and destroy the two.

This film has been released under several different titles including THE HOUSE THAT CRIED MURDER and LAST HOUSE ON MASSACRE STREET, which was obviously an attempt to try and cash in on the Wes Craven film. I think this is the perfect example of a regional horror film that just didn't quite have enough going for it so the distributor had to keep changing up titles to hope it would draw in some crowds. THE BRIDE isn't an awful movie but at the same time it just doesn't have enough going for it to make it a complete success.

The best thing about the film is the fact that you can feel it's region. The film was shot in Connecticut and it just looks quite different. I mean, there hasn't been too many movies shot there so this here kind of just strikes you as watching something new. The locations were quite good and the film also benefits from just being very weird. There are silly moments where the bride and his man are just romantically walking around and it seems like a commercial for gum or something.

There's one brutal murder that is quite shocking in its own way. The biggest problem with the movie is the fact that there's just not much going for it storywise. The man and his new woman are constantly having nightmares or receiving strange phone calls. None of this contains any suspense. The direction doesn't add any tension to the film and it just seems very flat. The performances are decent but they all manage to hit a few bad notes throughout.

THE BRIDE will be worth watching to fans of horror films but it just doesn't have enough to make it worth viewing for others.