The Thirsty Dead

This imaginative horror take on "Lost Horizon" fails to engage due to poor acting, low-budget and pacing which is too slow. The only memorable performance is that of John Considine in the role of Baru, the sensitive and loving male leader of the Blood drinkers who never age. When he makes the mistake of falling in love with one of the cult's unwilling donors he must pay the ultimate price for leaving his heritage. Considine acts this part well, and it's too bad there wasn't more development of his part and better pacing. His presence creates the only interest in the film.

I rented this under suspicion. First of all, it was PG. A PG horror movie doesn't promise much. But I gave it a chance.

It was...okay....

The movie is about four women--Laura, Claire, Ann, and Bonnie--who are captured and taken to a cave in the jungle. They see they that there is a large cult-like group there, but they don't know why they are there. Soon Laura realizes that they have been brought here for a terrible reason. She, inparticular, is portrayed as a great queen, and the other three, with many other captives, are kept there for their blood, which keeps the would-be dead cult alive and young. The four must escape.

It isn't a terrible movie, but it isn't really scary. It's somewhat interesting, and if you're looking for a very mild horror movie, then I suggest this. There is barely any blood, no profanity, and no nudity. The acting isn't terrible. (What a surprise! Most movies like this have the worst of actors.) And there is a lot of action towards the end. If you are into softcore horror movies, check this out. If you want something more, pass it.

A cult of the undead abducts beautiful young women in order to drink their blood.

As luridly wonderful as this may sound, THE THIRSTY DEAD is actually just a terrible movie with a great title. It's as though the filmmakers were intent on creating a movie that's as loopy and as brain-crushingly boring as possible.

You'll stare agog waiting for something, anything interesting to occur. Nope, just silly people wandering around in 1960's Star Trek outfits for the better part of 88 minutes.

This is true pain...

Some movies, back in the heyday of Ballyhoo, used to claim they were so terrifying that a single viewing would kill you. The Thirsty Dead could have made a similar claim, although threats of being Bored To Death don't draw nearly as big a crowd.

This movie reeks like overcooked cabbage. It actually starts out kind of promisingly. Attractive young women are being abducted off the streets of Manila. The rumor is White Slavery. The truth is even worse. Seems the captives are being taken prisoner to the Cardboard Cave Kingdom of the Xanadu Rejects! Our four pretty protagonists stumble through the film as though they have each drunk a gallon of Nyquil before the camera started rolling. The Heroine, played by Meredith Baxter Birney's ugly brother in drag, is about as stupid as a bag of hammers. For some dumb reason she falls in love with the King of the Aztec-y cult, a disco-suited Peter Lorre impersonator. This irritates the High Priestess, whose horse-teeth are the scariest effect in the whole film. Meanwhile, the other 3 captive girls - Jan Brady, the obligatory native Filipino girl and a redheaded Russ Meyer reject - sit around and do nothing. There's lots of buckskin bikinis and sexy sarongs and girls dancing around a severed head in a square lava lamp, but the plot apparently wandered off while the director wasn't looking. I stopped caring fifteen minutes into this mess. It's almost too bad to laugh at.

Beautiful young girls are kidnapped off the streets of Manila by a death cult that needs their blood to remain immortal.

Apparently, back in the 70's the dark streets of Manilla were littered with hot blonde white chicks. They get captured by crimson hooded guys and offer no resistance whatsoever.

The movie is fairly typical of these Philippine 70's films. Dark, little real action and the same music over and over, all filmed on grainy high speed over saturated 35 mm.

There was a documentary made about these movies recently and apparently, there was little safety on the sets and sometimes stunt men died! I guess Marcos made it very advantageous to make movies here back then because so many cheapo horror/girls in prison films were made there.

This movie follows the same format and if you are a fan of the genre because the films are so bad, you'll probably like it. It's a fun midnight movie to laff at.