Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun

Father Vicente (William Berger) catches pretty 15-year-old Maria (Susan Hemingway) flirting with her boyfriend, and has her sent to a convent where he can keep a closer eye on her. No sooner than she is cloistered, Maria is subjected to abuse, ultimately being forced to take part in a Satanic orgy, Vicente and the nuns all being followers of the devil (who makes a special personal appearance to take Maria's virginity!).

I admit it: sometimes—okay, quite a lot of the time—I'm just not in the mood to labour over a really in-depth and informative movie review, and am just happy to rattle off some old rubbish to get it out of the way. I imagine this is how director Jess Franco must have tackled a lot of his films… just get the bloody thing in the can and start the next one. Sod the quality!

Not so, however, with Love Letters From A Portuguese Nun, which feels like the director actually tried to make something a little more stylish than his usual dross: the locations and scenery are beautiful, the cast are half decent (there's no Lina Romay, whose 'beauty' I simply cannot comprehend), and the cinematography is classier than usual (fewer rapid zooms and out of focus shots). Hell, even the title is fancy schmancy.

Unfortunately, at the end of the day, behind this semblance of style, it's business as usual for Franco, his film ultimately being another predictable slice of sleaze, with the vaguest of plots to string together the obligatory scenes of lesbianism, masturbation, orgies and torture, all of which eventually gets very boring. As Franco films go, this is far from his worst, but there are far better nunsploitation films out there (School of the Holy Beast and Sister Emanuelle spring to mind).

Jess Franco's "Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun" is the perfect film to show anyone who thinks all that Jess Franco is capable of is zooming in and out of tasteless sex scenes. Instead of his usual epileptic zooms, the cinematography in this is measured and carefully composed. The acting is also another plus. William Berger's portrayal as the Father Confessor is the epitome of slime and pretense. Let's not forget Susan Hemingway and her effortless performance as the innocent heroine of the title. In closing, this is a MUST-SEE picture and proof that Franco could make a film that would cater to the arthouse crowd.

Ken Russell's classic "The Devils" (1971) almost gave birth to a new genre of the exploits of sex starved and repressed nuns. "Love Letters Of A Portuguese Nun" is together with "Flavia The Heretic" one of best and it's also one Franco's most exciting. A teenager is caught kissing with her boyfriend by an evil priest who talks her mother into sending her sinful daughter to a convent. From the first day and all through the movie the poor teen is put through one sexual humiliation after another (incl. sex with satan who has one horn in the forehead!?!). It's sleazy as hell but also very done, beautifully shot, good locations and wellacted. "Love Letters.." could also be seen a comment on religion (Franco with a message?!?!). A must for fans of stylish European 70's smut!

Tsk, tsk…. My poor, old and deeply religious granny should know what I'm watching here. Nunsploitation! Foxy looking nuns doing tricks with their willing and ravishing bodies, in blood-soaked and satanic-themed movies! Blasphemy, my old granny would call it…and she would be right as well. Call it what you want …it's still fun! It's pretty deranged to see a bunch of nuns bringing sacrifices to Satan. And it's even more messed up to see Lucifer actually appear then and sexually violate an innocent young disciple. Who else than Jess Franco could have been responsible for this? The Godfather of Sleaze tried out every subgenre of eurohorror in his long, fertile career and this stylish, well cinematographed film represents his bizarre nun-fantasies. A young girl named Marie – played by Susan Hemingway – is caught fooling around with her boyfriend by a frustrated priest. He intimidates her poor mother to force her into a convent. The nuns there, led by Alma Mater Ana Zanetti (who looks a lot like an exquisite version of Susan Sarandon, take unusual interest in her young and sensual body. Lovely convent this is! Mother Superior is a horny devil-worshipper and the priest is a perverted masturbator! Which brings me to the MESSAGE of this film! Yes indeed, message! Jess Franco's films don't often carry a message but this `Love Letters from a Portuguese Nun' does. Franco directly criticizes the historical hypocrisy of the Catholic Church and shows how Catholic superiors abused their powers. This really is one of Franco's finest achievements. Although the film exaggerates extremely when it comes to sleaziness and absurd situations, it also brings forward a lot of style and beauty. The acting is above average and the locations are beautifully chosen. The best aspect about the whole film is the truly magnificent music by Walter Baumgartner, who made a career out of filling exploitation soundtracks. Love Letters from a Portuguese Nun may not be top-quality cinema, but it shows a lot of goodwill and depth. And it's beautiful to look at. Hallelujah!

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun is a surprisingly professionally made movie from the king of sleaze, Jess Franco. Usually with Franco, you can count on a very thin plot and loads of sex (usually involving lesbians), but this time it's the other way round. Of course, there's still lots of room for sex (no need to worry, Franco fans) but it's definitely a secondary element to the plot. This film fits into the corner of the horror genre known as 'nunsploitation'. This is my first ever taste of nunsploitation, so I cant comment on the niche on the whole; but if it turns out to be as interesting as it's title, it should be pretty good! This film follows Maria, a sixteen year old girl that is forced into a convent after the convent's leader manipulates her mother into thinking she's in league with the devil and destined for Hell. However, this isn't a Christian convent and rather than worshipping God, these guys are actually a band of Satanists! After being forced to perform sinful acts with various members of the convent (including the Dark Prince himself...), Maria tries to escape the convent.

The message in this film is actually rather potent, and it exposes the hypocrisy of religion and, more specifically; the Christian church. The film manages to go even further than that too, with the idea of a sex scandal being pretty much timeless. Sex scandals are still a big part of our society's news stories, and I'm sure that they will continue to be; which gives this film an element of immortality where it's plot is concerned. The sex scenes are surprisingly brief, which is very surprising after watching the likes of Vampyros Lesbos and Bare Breasted Countess. The photography is smooth and nice to look at, leading me to believe that Jess Franco actually wanted to make a film, rather than just another of his usual quickies. Jess Franco made a lot of films over his career, a lot of which are forgettable rubbish; but this film hints that the man may have a lot more talent than his list of directorial credits suggests. Despite some silly sequences (such the Devil love making scene), this film is professionally handled and just well done on the whole. Maybe if Franco had put more effort into the quality of his films rather than the quantity, he would have a few masterpieces under his belt.