Satan's Cheerleaders

Whenever I want to explain to someone great camp B-movies, I hold up a DVD of Satan's Cheerleaders. Still one of the best.

This one is a scream. It's in my schlock hall of fame collection. LOL

If you haven't seen Yvonne DeCarlo in full post-Lily-Munster devil-priestess regalia, about to be torn to shreds by Dobermans named Lucifer and Diablo (the writers weren't trusting us to be capable of interpreting subtleties here) and crying out "Satan, why hast thou forsaken me?" you just haven't lived.

But wait. There's more. How much would you pay for a defrocked Catholic priest-turned-Satan-worshiper who can't seem to shake the habit of crossing himself and who frets prissily over the prospect of the intended Cheap Ho cheer leaders -- who are currently escaping from the clutches of the coven -- being attacked by the killer Dobies ("Oh, we mustn't soil the maidens," he flutters)?

Or a cheer leading sponsor who seems to have stepped out of some bizarre Oral Roberts University parallel universe where she just can't IMAGINE the idea that wearing short skirts and tight sweaters and jumping high enough to show your underpants might be construed as provocative to the males of the species?

Or a speech-impaired school janitor (who spends his off hours slathered in the worst seventies polyester leisure outfits ever manufactured) who makes a stammering vow to avenge the students who make fun of him by turning them over to the high priest of the devil coven for justice?

How about a sheriff named "B.L. Bubb" (again with the aversion to subtlety) who has to be the most wooden performer since Adam West in "Batman" or Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments" -- maybe since he and Charlton shared the divine Miss DeCarlo as a wife, something in her aura caused them to be stricken with Over The Top Acting Syndrome?

Now how much would you pay? But then, I can't fault anyone, since I did shell out five bucks for this one on a remaindered supermarket video rack. And I probably would have gone as high as fifteen to claim this gem of Drive In Infamy for my personal collection. LOL

With all the movies that came out in the 70's about satanic cults and sexy cheerleaders it was almost inevitable that someone would make a satanic cheerleader movie. It's only surprising that it took so long. This movie starts out as typical cheerleader sexploitation. It's tamer than most (I think it was originally rated "PG"!) with only brief snatches of nudity in an unusually circumspect shower scene and a lot of up-the-skirt camera shots. It certainly doesn't hold a candle to some of the earlier cheerleader films (which border on softcore porn), but it does have the usual atrocious acting, groan-inducing jokes and sexual double-entendres, and godawful 70's music.

It would be a waste-of-time T and A film (with precious little T or A)if not for an interesting turn halfway through where the cheerleaders'bus breaks down on the way to a game and they have a run-in with a small-town satanic cult(lead by b-movie luminaries like John Ireland,Yvonne DeCarlo, and John Carradine). Hilariously, the cult is looking for an "unsullied maiden" to sacrifice to Satan (if they'd seen one of these cheerleader movies they'd definitely look somewhere else). This satanic subplot is not the least bit scary, but it is enjoyably cheesy and the jokes start to hit more than miss. "They're all of them witches!" one especially dumb cheerleader says, making an unintentional allusion to the granddaddy of all devil movies, "Rosemary's Baby". Another girl is quite indignant that the cult wants to use her as a virgin sacrifice: "I'm no maiden--I've been a cheerleader for three years!".

If you're a pervert with a cheerleader fetish you're probably better off sticking to stronger stuff like the original "The Cheerleaders" (or a hardcore porn movie like "Debbie Does Dallas"), but if you enjoy ridiculous devil movies and/or cheesy 70's flicks like I do, you'll no doubt find this to be a pleasant little diversion.

Tame 70's camp movie about a group of cheerleaders who fall victim to a town full of Satan worshippers header by John Ireland and Yvonne De Carlo who plan on making one of the cheerleaders a sacrifice. Entertaining as long as you don't take it seriously with a great camp cast, especially De Carlo and some funny scenes.

Rated R; Violence and Nudity.

This rather strange film begins with an oversexed cheerleading squad in the process of rehearsing their cheers on a beach for an upcoming football game. Fortunately for them, as vapid as they may be, their cheerleading coach "Ms. Johnson" (Jacqulin Cole) is even more clueless, and as a result, they pretty much get to make out with the boys from the football team whenever they like. This changes, however, when they continue to disparage the local janitor "Billy Brooks" (Jack Kruschen) who not only places a satanic curse upon them but goes as far as to drive them to an altar where he attempts to rape one of the cheerleaders by the name of "Patti" (Kerry Sherman). What he doesn't realize is that Satan has other plans in mind and has no intention of allowing this to happen. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this was an interesting attempt to merge two popular sub-genres into one--a satanic horror film with that of a typical cheerleader sexploitation picture. Or maybe it's the other way around. Regardless, it doesn't work out that well, but even so, it was mainly cheap fodder for the drive-in circuit, so it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things anyway. Be that as it may, it was difficult for me to decide whether this film should be classified as a comedy or a horror film, as there were elements of both to a certain degree. What is not indisputable is the fact that this was a low-budget production which suffered from bad acting and a very poor script which not even veteran actors like David Carradine (as "The Bum"), John Ireland ("The Sheriff"), or Yvonne De Carlo ("Emmy") could salvage. In short, it was not a good film by any means, but having said that, it might appeal to those looking for a campy and nostalgic offering of this sort.