Satan's Cheerleaders

This one is a scream. It's in my schlock hall of fame collection. LOL

If you haven't seen Yvonne DeCarlo in full post-Lily-Munster devil-priestess regalia, about to be torn to shreds by Dobermans named Lucifer and Diablo (the writers weren't trusting us to be capable of interpreting subtleties here) and crying out "Satan, why hast thou forsaken me?" you just haven't lived.

But wait. There's more. How much would you pay for a defrocked Catholic priest-turned-Satan-worshiper who can't seem to shake the habit of crossing himself and who frets prissily over the prospect of the intended Cheap Ho cheer leaders -- who are currently escaping from the clutches of the coven -- being attacked by the killer Dobies ("Oh, we mustn't soil the maidens," he flutters)?

Or a cheer leading sponsor who seems to have stepped out of some bizarre Oral Roberts University parallel universe where she just can't IMAGINE the idea that wearing short skirts and tight sweaters and jumping high enough to show your underpants might be construed as provocative to the males of the species?

Or a speech-impaired school janitor (who spends his off hours slathered in the worst seventies polyester leisure outfits ever manufactured) who makes a stammering vow to avenge the students who make fun of him by turning them over to the high priest of the devil coven for justice?

How about a sheriff named "B.L. Bubb" (again with the aversion to subtlety) who has to be the most wooden performer since Adam West in "Batman" or Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments" -- maybe since he and Charlton shared the divine Miss DeCarlo as a wife, something in her aura caused them to be stricken with Over The Top Acting Syndrome?

Now how much would you pay? But then, I can't fault anyone, since I did shell out five bucks for this one on a remaindered supermarket video rack. And I probably would have gone as high as fifteen to claim this gem of Drive In Infamy for my personal collection. LOL

With all the movies that came out in the 70's about satanic cults and sexy cheerleaders it was almost inevitable that someone would make a satanic cheerleader movie. It's only surprising that it took so long. This movie starts out as typical cheerleader sexploitation. It's tamer than most (I think it was originally rated "PG"!) with only brief snatches of nudity in an unusually circumspect shower scene and a lot of up-the-skirt camera shots. It certainly doesn't hold a candle to some of the earlier cheerleader films (which border on softcore porn), but it does have the usual atrocious acting, groan-inducing jokes and sexual double-entendres, and godawful 70's music.

It would be a waste-of-time T and A film (with precious little T or A)if not for an interesting turn halfway through where the cheerleaders'bus breaks down on the way to a game and they have a run-in with a small-town satanic cult(lead by b-movie luminaries like John Ireland,Yvonne DeCarlo, and John Carradine). Hilariously, the cult is looking for an "unsullied maiden" to sacrifice to Satan (if they'd seen one of these cheerleader movies they'd definitely look somewhere else). This satanic subplot is not the least bit scary, but it is enjoyably cheesy and the jokes start to hit more than miss. "They're all of them witches!" one especially dumb cheerleader says, making an unintentional allusion to the granddaddy of all devil movies, "Rosemary's Baby". Another girl is quite indignant that the cult wants to use her as a virgin sacrifice: "I'm no maiden--I've been a cheerleader for three years!".

If you're a pervert with a cheerleader fetish you're probably better off sticking to stronger stuff like the original "The Cheerleaders" (or a hardcore porn movie like "Debbie Does Dallas"), but if you enjoy ridiculous devil movies and/or cheesy 70's flicks like I do, you'll no doubt find this to be a pleasant little diversion.

As many others before me have likely pointed out, "Satan's Cheerleaders" is really too tame to work that well as an exploitation film. However, provided one refuses to take it seriously, they *can* have some fun with it. There is a sense of humour present, and a tongue in cheek tone. Co-written and directed by B movie veteran Greydon Clark ("Without Warning"), it's an amiable enough bag of garbage.

Still, one has to sit through way too much tomfoolery (for at least the first third of the movie) as nothing that entertaining happens. Kerry Sherman (as Patti), Hillary Horan (as Chris), Alisa Powell (as Debbie), and the well endowed Sherry Marks (as Sharon) play our title characters. On their way to a football game, they're waylaid by Billy (Jack Kruschen), the bumbling, stuttering janitor at their school. They've been selected as sacrifices for local Satan worshippers led by a genial sheriff (John Ireland) and his nutty wife (Yvonne De Carlo).

Devotees of cinematic trash may take exception to a low body count, an absence of gore, and the limited amount of bare female flesh. This is closer to the kind of thing one might expect to see in TV movie treatment of such material. The slumming big name cast provides some curiosity value; De Carlo appears to be serious, but Ireland is clearly kidding around, John Carradine knowingly hams it up as a bum, Kruschen is appropriately off putting, and Sydney Chaplin has some fun as one of the Devils' disciples. He plays a monk, and actually gets addressed as "Monk"; also, the girls have their names stenciled on their tops just so we're never in doubt as to who is who. Director Clarks' wife Jacqueline Cole plays Phys. Ed. teacher Ms. Johnson.

When the sheriffs' actual name is "B.L. Bubb", you know you're not watching high art, or anything remotely subtle.

Recognizable names among the crew are cinematographer Dean Cundey, camera operator Ray Stella, and script supervisor Debra Hill.

Five out of 10.

Tame 70's camp movie about a group of cheerleaders who fall victim to a town full of Satan worshippers header by John Ireland and Yvonne De Carlo who plan on making one of the cheerleaders a sacrifice. Entertaining as long as you don't take it seriously with a great camp cast, especially De Carlo and some funny scenes.

Rated R; Violence and Nudity.

Satan's cheerleaders seems like an attempt to mix two radically different genres together and it should not come as too much of a shock that it is a inconsistent (though still watchable) film.

Mixing the then popular demon possession film with a Jack Hill like Swinging Cheerleader picture must have seemed like a really good idea on paper but unfortunately neither genre is attacked with the gusto necessary to be completely successful.

The first half of the film focuses on the wacky antics of the Cheerleaders and the football players (in fact until very end of the picture it seems that the entire football team is made up of only 4 players) but the surprising thing is how annoying the film-makers allow these characters to be. Whether forcing people off a public beach or making fun of the stuttering janitor they actually seem like a fairly accurate recreation of high school elite. While heading off to the first game of the season they experience car trouble and are picked up by the janitor and thats when the second movie begins.

The Janitor is a satanist and when he attempts to rape one of the ladies he is struck dead by the devil. The cheerleaders and their coach go to the local sheriff to report but he refuses to allow them to leave and they find out just how wide the web of evil is. The second half of the movie with a rape and several killings does not mesh with the light and goofy first half. People who like horror will be bored by the first half and people who like comedy may enjoy the somewhat tame (compared to other films of the genre) antics of the girls but few will fully embrace the film.

The acting in this film, as in many low budget affairs is very hit and miss. Weak acting by many of the cheerleaders (and all of the football team) is balanced to an extent by a strong performance by Kerry Sherman as the cheerleader who seems just a little bit ahead of the others in terms of understanding the situation and Jacqueline Cole, who while not the strongest actress in the world comes across as quite likable in her role as the Cheerleader's coach. As in many Greydon Clark films the movie is peppered with past their prime actors who are showing up for one last paycheck including Yvonne De Carlo and John Ireland. At least De Carlo seems to be putting a little effort into the film while John Ireland seems to be bored goofy by the proceedings.

Director Clark has created some of the more interesting zero budget films including Wacko, Angel's revenge, skinheads and without warning but I am afraid this film fails to reach the heights of his other efforts. If you read the premise and think the movie sounds like your type of film than you may enjoy it but I think most can safely pass on the film.