Satan's Cheerleaders

This one is a scream. It's in my schlock hall of fame collection. LOL

If you haven't seen Yvonne DeCarlo in full post-Lily-Munster devil-priestess regalia, about to be torn to shreds by Dobermans named Lucifer and Diablo (the writers weren't trusting us to be capable of interpreting subtleties here) and crying out "Satan, why hast thou forsaken me?" you just haven't lived.

But wait. There's more. How much would you pay for a defrocked Catholic priest-turned-Satan-worshiper who can't seem to shake the habit of crossing himself and who frets prissily over the prospect of the intended Cheap Ho cheer leaders -- who are currently escaping from the clutches of the coven -- being attacked by the killer Dobies ("Oh, we mustn't soil the maidens," he flutters)?

Or a cheer leading sponsor who seems to have stepped out of some bizarre Oral Roberts University parallel universe where she just can't IMAGINE the idea that wearing short skirts and tight sweaters and jumping high enough to show your underpants might be construed as provocative to the males of the species?

Or a speech-impaired school janitor (who spends his off hours slathered in the worst seventies polyester leisure outfits ever manufactured) who makes a stammering vow to avenge the students who make fun of him by turning them over to the high priest of the devil coven for justice?

How about a sheriff named "B.L. Bubb" (again with the aversion to subtlety) who has to be the most wooden performer since Adam West in "Batman" or Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments" -- maybe since he and Charlton shared the divine Miss DeCarlo as a wife, something in her aura caused them to be stricken with Over The Top Acting Syndrome?

Now how much would you pay? But then, I can't fault anyone, since I did shell out five bucks for this one on a remaindered supermarket video rack. And I probably would have gone as high as fifteen to claim this gem of Drive In Infamy for my personal collection. LOL

Whenever I want to explain to someone great camp B-movies, I hold up a DVD of Satan's Cheerleaders. Still one of the best.

With all the movies that came out in the 70's about satanic cults and sexy cheerleaders it was almost inevitable that someone would make a satanic cheerleader movie. It's only surprising that it took so long. This movie starts out as typical cheerleader sexploitation. It's tamer than most (I think it was originally rated "PG"!) with only brief snatches of nudity in an unusually circumspect shower scene and a lot of up-the-skirt camera shots. It certainly doesn't hold a candle to some of the earlier cheerleader films (which border on softcore porn), but it does have the usual atrocious acting, groan-inducing jokes and sexual double-entendres, and godawful 70's music.

It would be a waste-of-time T and A film (with precious little T or A)if not for an interesting turn halfway through where the cheerleaders'bus breaks down on the way to a game and they have a run-in with a small-town satanic cult(lead by b-movie luminaries like John Ireland,Yvonne DeCarlo, and John Carradine). Hilariously, the cult is looking for an "unsullied maiden" to sacrifice to Satan (if they'd seen one of these cheerleader movies they'd definitely look somewhere else). This satanic subplot is not the least bit scary, but it is enjoyably cheesy and the jokes start to hit more than miss. "They're all of them witches!" one especially dumb cheerleader says, making an unintentional allusion to the granddaddy of all devil movies, "Rosemary's Baby". Another girl is quite indignant that the cult wants to use her as a virgin sacrifice: "I'm no maiden--I've been a cheerleader for three years!".

If you're a pervert with a cheerleader fetish you're probably better off sticking to stronger stuff like the original "The Cheerleaders" (or a hardcore porn movie like "Debbie Does Dallas"), but if you enjoy ridiculous devil movies and/or cheesy 70's flicks like I do, you'll no doubt find this to be a pleasant little diversion.

Tame 70's camp movie about a group of cheerleaders who fall victim to a town full of Satan worshippers header by John Ireland and Yvonne De Carlo who plan on making one of the cheerleaders a sacrifice. Entertaining as long as you don't take it seriously with a great camp cast, especially De Carlo and some funny scenes.

Rated R; Violence and Nudity.

Well, what are you really expecting with a title like this one any way? Art? Basically, the producers deliver what is expected: adolescent humour, lots of young girls scantily clad, atrocious 70's music and outfits that would make Cher look like a groovy dresser, wooden performances, John Carradine in yet another laughable part, tissue-thin plot, and so on. Four teenaged cheerleaders and their teacher, all beautiful and partially clothed, get lost on route to a football game. They eventually are given a ride by the janitor at the school who has been ogling them through holes in the wall, and just happens to belong to a coven of Satanists led by sheriff Bub, played by John Ireland. The janitor takes them on a ride only to get knocked out after attempting to rape the blonde that seems to have powers. The girls manage to get away and go to the sheriff for help, only to discover that he is their worst nightmare(not really as nothing in this film is even close to being suspenseful). The rest...really is very trite and uninteresting, except for its comic appeal to afficionados of bad cinema. The film boasts quite an impressive line-up of famous character actors(all of them wasted) with Ireland, Carradine, Yvonne De Carlo, and Sydney Chaplin(the funniest of the cast). The girls are dirty-minded and everything they say has some double meaning. At least they are not shy, a small point in the film's favor. Watch at your own risk, but certainly good for an evening of laughs..the unintended kind.