The Lucifer Complex

I was one of the clones! The curly haired guy in a few scenes behind Robert Vaughn. He didn't say much, just smiled and did what he was told. Many of us were acting students from the Lee Strasberg Drama Institute - so much for method acting. It was filmed across the street from Paramount at a small sound stage we entered through a back alley. They feed us from MacDonalds! I never got paid for it, so I guess I might as well not hold my breath anymore. You'll notice there is a strip across where our private parts would be, so you couldn't see our bathing suits or underwear, and we just grabbed the feeding tubes and stuck them in our navels.

Near-abominable tale of an intelligence agent (Vaughn) assigned by his boss (Leo Gordon, uncredited) to infiltrate an island outpost where he discovers a shocking plot to clone world leaders in an audacious plan to resurrect the Fourth Reich, forty years following the end of WWII.

Vaguely reminiscent of its contemporary "Boys From Brazil" has a great cast that aside from Vaughn sleep-walking through his role, includes Keenan Wynn, Aldo Ray, the lovely Lynn Cartwright (in a distinctly unlovely role as a sadistic Nazi), Kieu Chinh as a female prisoner, Victoria Carroll as a double agent and Corinne Cole ("The Party") in a frivolous bit part as a potential one-night stand, though our secret agent is so inept, he manages one corny pick-up line ("you need less bump and more grind"), before duty calls.

And let's not neglect William Lanning in the ostensibly unrelated scenes that punctuate, as he narrates the tale watching it unfold from a laser-read time capsule. If you're confused by that plot synopsis, you're starting to appreciate what "The Lucifer Complex" has to offer the patient viewer.

The film is absolute dross, pure guff, atrocious in almost every department, totally bereft of suspense, thrills or coherency, BUT, in my opinion it does qualify as 'so bad it's funny' and for that reason, coupled with the distinguished cast of Hollywood A-listers and B-movie personnel (Cartwright was always a scene-stealer, and she alone earns this turkey one star for pure camp value), it's essential for any film buff's burgeoning collection.

This movie could have been so much better if they would have had the lone survivor discovering that the video he is watching is really the Lucifer Complex and he was in it. Like he was discovering that he was a clone. But as the movie is, it makes little sense of anything.

If ever a film deserves obscurity this one should be completely eradicated from the first to the last frame, to prevent cruelty to viewers, to film making professionals, and to the actors trapped therein. Watching snails mate IS much more entertaining.

An obvious attempt to "rescue" already shot footage from some aborted movie project, the result is the best demonstrative excuse to outlaw cloning yet devised ...referring to the movie, not the biological process. Even worse, you can tell when the editors intentionally "stretched" the film by repeating the same scenes over and over and over and over and .... sow on. It is shocking to see reference to "script" personnel in the closing credits. I suspect this was an attempt to perpetrate a fraud. In the film there is no evidence of a script, nor coherence or continuity. The only plot possible for this film is the one into which it should be put.

Bury this movie, don't view it.

Why did I view this film? I cannot think of a single good reason other than stupid disbelief ...sort of like a deer frozen motionless in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle.

When asked about the worst film ever made, it might be safe to take the easy road of listing cult favorites like 'Plan 9 From Outer Space', 'The Room', or 'Birdemic', but I firmly believe that films giving viewers the perverse pleasure of laughing through them, or indeed the type that invite midnight screenings, cannot truly be considered the worst. If you had fun watching it, how can it possibly be that bad?

'The Lucifer Complex', on the other hand, is the worst film I've ever seen.

It starts off promisingly enough: a man walks alone on the shores of a deserted island, rhapsodizing over the collapse of society and the fall of humanity. He returns to the confines of his man cave, full of futuristic tech that would've looked dated on 'Star Trek', and has a seat to reflect on the folly of his erstwhile descendants. Seemingly off to a great start, right?

Then, he watches film of what life was like at the turn of the century. War. Newsreels. Concert film? Five minutes becomes ten, and the next thing you know your brain is slithering out your nostrils. The story proper finally kicks in as one of these films, featuring a tired and bloated Robert Vaughn as the world's least convincing spy, uncovers an island where existing members of the Nazi party look to revive the Third Reich using clones. Yeah, it's basically an unauthorized rip-off of 'The Boys From Brazil', but even a plot this outlandish can't save the film for the midnight movie crowd.

Cheesy movies can be fun. 'The Lucifer Complex' is only cheesy enough to be depressing. Uninspired camera work, dialogue too stale to be droll, exhausted performances, locations that kind of work, editing that drains the energy from each scene... it's as much fun as waking up to discover that your arm is asleep.

I won't spoil the film more than the description already does, but rest assured, the film within a film ends, leaving our terminally bored, island-locked protagonist to mumble some commentary on mankind that was probably insightful before the transgenerational degradation of bad writers borrowing from good ones reduced it from Arthur C. Clarke to L. Ron Hubbard to Stephanie Meyer; it's so bland it's useless to mock.

On the plus side, it's a fascinating experiment in relativity. If you really want to make 90 minutes feel like forever, watch 'The Lucifer Complex'.