Zero to Sixty

Perhaps best known as Carl Kolchak and the Old Man character from A Christmas Story, Darren McGavin, who also wrote the screenplay, (under his real name, W. Lyle Richardson) stars as Michael Nolan, a middle-aged loser, whose wife divorces him and leaves him for broke, and screwed over by his slimy attorney (Dick Martin). He eventually befriends Larry (Denice Nickerson), a street-smart teenager, who has a job repossessing cars. Larry is determined to take back a silver Pontiac Trans Am belonging to sexpot socialite Gloria Martine (Joan Collins), who Michael is immediately turned on by. Of course, there's plenty of car chases and crashes and supporting parts from Sylvia Miles as the wacky agency owner, Dick Martin as a slimy divorce attorney and The Hudson Brothers as a trio of morons, who also work at the agency as repo men.

This awful movie purports to be a comedy, but the only way to tell is from the "wacky" music that plays during the supposed funny parts.

The story is almost non-existent, the characters are annoying and the chase scenes are trite. A car chase through a vegetable market? How unique.

I don't know how this movie got made but it had some fairly big TV stars for its day in the cast. Dick Martin and Lyle Waggoner had cameos. I'm not really sure why Darrin McGavin made this and he probably isn't either.

The movie is really terrible but it still has some power to make you sit transfixed and acknowledge how bad it is with out actually doing anything about it.

Most of the other previous reviews did a thorough job of covering the nuts n bolts (pun!) of this movie, so I won't bother with all that. I didn't go into watching this with any great expectations of complex plot, in-depth character development, or deep meaning. Primarily because:#1 I have seen more than five movies in my life and #2 I'm not a schmuck. Anyone criticizing this movie because it's lack of the qualities of the great theatrical masterpieces needs to take the time to actually think about what they are about to watch before they watch it. I mean, really, it's a late 70's car movie. C'mon. I happen to be a big fan of this type of movie; the original Gone In Sixty Second being the gold standard. That was good enough get picked up to be remade with the insufferable Dickolas Cage, if you recall. And that movie had essentially no plot either. The necessity of a plot is directly inverse to the quantity and quality of car chases and crashes in a movie. Oh yeah, also the size of the cars. Therefore, any movie from the era of the American made land yacht, the 1965-1979, car almost fore-go a plot altogether! It's a fun, light, easy watch of a flick. Go into it expecting that and you won't be disappointed. Enjoy!

I just picked up this movie on the internet and after watching had mixed emotions. There really is NO plot line here. Darren McGavin has lost everything and seems like a wishy washy kind of turd in the punchbowl. Someone tries to Repo his ex-wife's car and that's how gets involved with the inept ring of repo guys, headed up by the tough as nails Sylvia Miles. McGavin's character Mike is teamed up with a 16 year old juvy who takes him in and falls in love with him. He doesn't feel the same(does the word statutory rape ring a bell???) but she wants to bang him anyway. Mike is too interested in banging some of the women who's cars are wanted by the bank and he ends up doing them too. There's not much to see in this film. Gratuitous car chases, goofy performances by the Hudson Brothers who were like the Three Stooges or trying to be like them, horrible fight scenes(though McGavin did know Karate but that wasn't evident here) and one bad love making scene with McGavin and Joan Collins(yes, Joan Collins). But it's fun to watch McGavin, he's a delight no matter what he does. Why did he do this schlock(filmed in Toronto I might add)? It was the pet project of his second wife, the late Kathie Browne. Oh, let me add 2 gratuitous scenes of McGavin's untanned butt. The highlight of the movie(at least to me).

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the second greatest repo man movie of all-time! Darren McGavin stars Michael Nolan, a man in desperate need of a job following his recent divorce. He quickly finds one when his car is repossessed. New to the repo game, Nolan teams up with 16 year old "Larry" (Nickerson), a smart mouthed tomboy stolen straight out of THE BAD NEWS BEARS. As the duo cruise around town looking for their wares, a series of madcap encounters ensue including everything from mobsters to a sly vixen (Collins).

That plot synopsis may sound a bit thin and there is a reason for that. ZERO TO SIXTY basically has no plot. What makes the film enjoyable is the energy of Darren McGavin as the put upon husband turned repo man. Had any other actor filled that role, the film would not be as agreeable as it is now. McGavin brings that manic Kolchak liveliness to this character and it makes him awfully hard not to like. There is also pretty good chemistry between McGavin and young Nickerson, who is probably best remembered as Violet Beauregarde in WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971).

This brings me to the film's only really odd point. For the most part this is a breezy 70s comedy that, like the aforementioned BAD NEWS BEARS, teams up an older man with a young girl. The only difference here is that "Larry" actively tries to seduce McGavin's character! Needless to say, it creates some really odd moments. The filmmakers cover themselves by having McGavin shack up with sexier (and older) Joan Collins at one point in the film, but the weirdness returns when McGavin confesses to having thought about "getting it on" with "Larry" at the film's conclusion.

With such a thin plot, the film resembles a television show rather than a theatrical feature. It makes sense when one inspects director Don Weis' filmography; he did episodes of nearly every major 70s TV series from "Happy Days" to "CHiPs" to "Baretta" to "The Man from Atlantis." Actually, this would have been a pretty good ensemble series a la TAXI. Sylvia Miles co-stars as the repo shop owner who is constantly flirting with every man she sees. And 70s comedy/music trio The Hudson Brothers provide some Three Stooges inspired gags and the film's songs. You will definitely be humming the theme by the end because it is extremely catchy and pops up every time the smallest bit of action occurs on screen. Sharp eyed viewers will catch cameos by Dick Martin, Lorraine Gary and Lyle Waggoner. There are also a few nifty car stunts courtesy of Paul Baxley backed by son Craig Baxley (went on to become a successful stunt coordinator and film director in his own right).