The Fifth Musketeer

1st watched 1/26/2001 - 5 out of 10 (Dir-Ken Annakin): Average played out and retelling of "The Man in the Iron Mask" story. A look-alike of King Louie is put into power by the musketeers for political reasons although this version tries to play up a love interest without much success. Could have been a good romantic/adventure but lacking in heart-felt talent.

THE FIFTH MUSKETEER - what a big disappointment. All that amazing talent, all those famous names, and only a couple of adequate performances in the entire film. What went wrong? I have the sneaking suspicion there were too many Chiefs and not enough Indians working in this film. The filmmakers probably found it hard to control the big names, and it shows. Clever dialogue would have made it possible to overlook the tepid, unoriginal script, but alas, there is very little.

Even if I were not an Ian McShane fan I would be forced to admit his characterisation of Fouquet remains the only one in the film which seems fully formed. Even though he plays the villain I found myself cheering him on because he was the only one with any charisma or humour in the entire film. The female performers are appealing. I hear the UK version has some nudity; the US VHS version has been cut to the point of somnambulism.

Trivia for McShane fans: The hijinx appear to all have taken place off-set rather than on. During the making of THE FIFTH MUSKETEER, Sylvia Kristel (of the EMMANUELLE soft porn series of films) and Ian McShane became involved in a highly-publicized, scandalous long- term affair. And McShane has related memories (complete with a spot-on vocal impersonation) of Rex Harrison imperiously barking orders at him to get out of his light during filming. It was that kind of set.

It's not a bad movie, but the best parts are played by the women. Ursula Andress looks absolutely incredible (like that comes as a surprise) and is very convincing as the bitchy yet extremely alluring Louise de la Vallière, mistress to King Louis. Sylvia Kristal is also very good in her role as well. If you are looking just to relax and watch a movie that you don't need to think about, this is the one. If you are a fan of women in corsets... have no fear, Ursula can satisfy that pretty well.

This retelling of Dumas' The Man in the Iron Mask makes for an ok film for a rainy day, but is hardly an epic swasbuckler. Beau Bridges is good in the dual roles of Louis and Phillipe, as is Rex Harrison as Colbert. Ian McShayne is delightfully evil as Fouquet and Ursulla Andress is wonderfully bitchy. Cornell Wilde and Alan Hale Jr. reprise their roles (sort of) from the film At Swords Point. Papa Bridges is around as a decidedly unreligious Aramis, and Jose Ferrer trades Cyrano's nose, for Athos' tunic. Sylvia Kristel is rather wooden as Marie Therese. In all, there is little for the actors to work with, but the scenery is nice and a few action sequences are quite good. Still one could have hoped for better things with this cast.

In many ways, this is an unnecessary re-telling of a story we have seen realized many times before (and since), and often filmed better. It was certainly not Beau Bridges's finest hour.

What was unusual and certainly the major selling point of the film was that the leading ladies (Andress and Kristel) would shed their clothes on quite a few occasions. As this film's US rating is PG and as the American running time is 12 minutes shorter than the British 15-rated release (which is the one I saw) it is highly likely that most if not all nudity was cut from the American version. Which is a shame as this is the only proper reason to watch this film.