Fantasy Mission Force

What the hell? This movie has everything! Hopping undead corpses. Crazed Amazons. Ghosts who cheat at cards. Japanese Nazis who attack riding atop 1970s clunker cars. Stupid musical numbers. Abraham Lincoln as a World War II general. Throw in loads of gratuitous violence, Chinese guys dressed in kilts and Elvis jumpsuits, and, er, Jacky Chan (and his chicken) and you have quite possibly the stupidest movie ever made. You won't know what to make of it either, but if you have the proper amount of beer on hand, and a few fellow appreciators of c**p, it won't matter in the slightest.

What sets this movie apart from other, less funny, movies is a scene near the end. It's supposed to be World War 2. The Nazis are coming, but in old junk American cars from the 60s. They even have swastikas spray painted on the side of them. As far as great scenes in awful movies, it doesn't get any better than that!

I watched this movie with two of my friends, and it is hands-down the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's so horrible. And it's so random. An island of cannibal women. Superheroes with KKK hoods who fly and throw streamers. A haunted house with jumping zombies. For God's sake, Japanese Nazis in Canada whose base is in a barn. And if you watch at the end, one of the junk cars the Nazis have has a Star of David on it. I very, very strongly recommend you watch this.

If you have any semblance of a sense of humour, you will asphyxiate with laughter at this movie. Jackie Chan only plays a bit part (while holding a chicken most of the time), but the Chinese elvis impersonator, the legendary escape artist "GREASE LIGHTNING", the football helmet wearing nazis, the bandit musical interlude, and the tribe of nubile Amazons will leave you wanting more. Nothing can ever hope to compare to this film. Stop trying to make movies people! - JUST WATCH THIS INSTEAD!

A hectic martial arts farce, it's a hard movie for casual fans to accept. Drinking helps. By our collective second beer, we stopped caring about glaring anachronisms and Benny Hill-like comedic sequences and just started whooping like baboons at the film's many hilariously bad "high points."

Apparently this is the "Good, Bad and the Ugly" of chop-saki flicks, inasmuch as every character gets his or her own ten-minute introduction to the audience. Yes, there is minimal Jackie, but he makes up for it with a well-choreographed fight scene against a dozen amazon warriors (played by women in the closeups, by men during the stunt sequences) all the while holding a chicken.

Other highlights include a houseful of decapitated, blood-sucking ghosts which falls somewhere between Disneyland's Haunted Mansion and Roger Corman's Death Race 2000; Plus, a young Kate Bush kicking butt in her vinyl thigh-high red booties; Also, Fans of the "Sharp Object Injury to the Butt" school of comedy won't be disappointed.

As for the undubbed musical number at the beginning of the film, what can I say that hasn't been said before? It was at once both mind-bendingly horrible and unspeakably fantastic.

Well worth the $2.99 I paid for it. As long as you approach it as a novelty film rather than expecting a "Drunken Master" out of it, you'll be cheerfully repeating "But first you must call me 'papa.'" with glee and fond memories for days following.