Hawk the Slayer

Similar to the reputation Showgirls has received in the "its so bad its good" category, upon repeated viewing of this film you can only just marvel on how crap this film is. The acting is diabolical, the story is terrible and the special effects were done by the local primary school.

It is because it suffers from almost every cinematic angel it becomes entertaining to watch.

Kids will love it and adults will laugh at the semi-serious attempt in making a fantasy film with elves, dwarfs, giants (or rather the very large man from the carry on films) and a witch whose special powers include fire balls that look remarkably like ping pong balls painted in luminous colours.

As you watch this film, you will more than likely sit back and say, "This is so silly." Remember this is an 80's film. I remember first watching this film as a teenager and saying it was so cool. Well many moons later, I can see the aweful special effects, and the obvious mistakes made. The interesting things about "B" movies is that if actors know they are in one; it comes through in their acting. With this film, they try to act as seriously as possible, which makes it more believable. For people with a poor budget, they did quite well. The score is still some of the coolest music ever. It sets the tone for the film, and encompasses Hawk's mysterious nature.

As a regular film, it is aweful. As a "B" film, it does quite well. Cult classic.

This is one of those rare early 80's movies that I love. Everything about it is terrible and yet something about it is great!

It has the feel of a Saturday "matinee" and is certainly an entertaining piece of work (although far from a masterpiece). Essentially, this movie is a guilty pleasure. If had to choose between it or "The Beastmaster", I would certainly take Hawk the Slayer.

I recommend this movie as a must see! Although I am not blind and can certainly see all of the faults, I still love this movie.

I even sampled sound bites from this movie and created a dance mix! (Not for commercial purposes... just for fun). If interested, check out the messages boards as I have posted a link to the sound file there.

Some would say this film is one of the poorest ever made. They would be correct. However it is also one of the most amusing. Such classic moments as 'a bit falls off the set really obviously' and 'the baddies lair is a skanky old tent', and of course the cheesy sound effect/soundtrack make this a great movie, especially when drunk. To assist this, the Hawk the Slayer Unofficial Drinking Game is as follows: Drink when: Anyone says 'Hawk'; Anyone says 'Voltan'; Every time they show a picture for the backdrop instead of a real set; Every time they use the ridiculous electronic sound effect (first used at the start with the sword); Every time someone dies (can be limited to 3 drinks for a fight scene as its hard to keep count); Every time the crazy disco soundtrack starts up; Every time there are poor special effects; Every time there is a cheesy flashback Every time the top of the set is visible.

Enjoy!

Voltan is a "bad man™" who has sold his soul to the dark forces in exchange for power. With Voltan having killed his father, the only one that may be able to stop him is his own brother – Hawk (aka "The Slayer"). The Dark Lord knows this and conspires to draw Hawk into a final battle and thus defeat him. To achieve this Voltan kidnaps a nun and demands a ransom – bringing Hawk out to her aid. On his way to his battle with Voltan, Hawk meets with a small, varied group of warriors to help him in his quest.

This film takes us back to a dark time, a time of evil and madness; a time where great changes were occurring as the 1970's turned into the 1980's. It is in this time of great evil that Hawk the Slayer was thrust upon cinema audiences who endured great suffering as a result. Or maybe they didn't – maybe audiences then were a lot less fussy and ate this up but somehow I doubt it. The plot is a simple quest with the usual stuff with a group of men being formed to fight the forces of evil. So far so dull and even those who love this sort of stuff will struggle to care about the very basic plot. Attempts to create relationships and character tensions fall flat at every turn and what should have driven the bigger story just doesn't work.

Of course it doesn't help that the delivery is so very tacky. The synthesised music doesn't help as disco isn't really the music one imagines hearing when watching a swords & sorcery film; it is funny rather than atmospheric. The costumes are OK but the sets are basic and the crew are always on hand with lots of dry ice to help make it look like the forest sets have been recently hosting a rock concert. The cats are rubbish and generally wooden, although my pick of the crap goes to Palance's cry of remorse at the death of his son – it is the least emotional cry I think I've ever heard. Of course John Terry is just as bad, with his wooden delivery and regular slow motion horse riding. Bresslaw, Charleson, O'Farrell are all just as poor and it is hard at times to see the actors for the trees. Marcel directs without an idea of what he is trying to achieve – at times he is making a serious epic, others a disco adventure and then others a TV serial. The limits of the budget are obvious but not even that excuses the use of party silly string as a weapon and various other poor effect choices.

Overall then this is best summed up by the old cliché "so bad it is good" although that actually isn't really true in this case for the majority of viewers. The plot is obvious and lacking much in the way of effort or imagination. The acting is wooden and the effects are cheap while director Marcel shows us why the majority of his career since has been in UK television rather than cinema.